This Mask I Wear

Chapter 2 - I Never Knew

By Kursed SeeD

"I never knew the frown behind the gold.
But now I see.

Now, I see."

I am completely and utterly shocked.

I cannot speak.

I cannot move.

I cannot breathe.

The tears flow down my cheeks, unchecked.

I just stare at Selphie, childishly trying to hide herself with a brown hat and dark clothes.

Who was her words for?

Oh, that's a foolish thought.

I know who they were for.

They were for me.

All this time, and I never knew. I never saw, never thought..

How could I have been so blind?

I wonder, idly, how long she's been coming here, baring her soul to complete strangers.

Why didn't I realise she wasn't all candy and fluff?

I want to run up to her, hug her, hold her, kiss away her sadness.

All this time she didn't know.

I didn't know.

Oh Selphie, why couldn't you see?!

(Why couldn't I see?!)

Selphie, Selphie...

I love you.

I love you.

I.

Love.

You.

I don't love Squall. I haven't for a very long time. It was just more rational to pine after him than it was after you.

After all, I had thought you made of rainbows.

You were always there, bouncing and smiling.

You seemed so content with Irvine.

How could I have known?

(How could I have not?)

I watch her as she slips behind the curtain and I know I have to follow her. I can't let her get away this time.

I cannot.

I rise quickly, and follow her.

"Selphie?"

Looking up at me, a beautiful tear-stained face. "What do you want?" A voice, barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry." The only words that seem to come to mind.

She laughs, bitterly. "Sorry? Yeah, I'm sorry, too."

I kneel beside her, taking her hand in mine. Gazing into those eyes. Eyes so beautiful and intriguing. Eyes I never knew I could get lost in before.

"No, I'm sorry." Keep my voice low.

She peers at me curiously, not understanding my meaning.

I raise a hand to her face, wipe away the tears.

She catches my hand in hers, stopping me from clearing her face. "I don't want you to feel sorry for me." Her voice is bitter and hurt. Something I've never really heard from her before.

"I don't..." I whisper, leaning closer to her.

Lips brush against lips. I almost want to laugh, the sweet taste of candy.

"Quistis, I..." her voice trails off.

I look at her and nod, "Let's get out of here."

She stands up, still clutching my hand like a child.

(Or maybe it is I who clutches her hand so tightly.)

"But what about Squall?" She asks, quietly.

I smile at her softly, "What about him?"

Together, we'll make our way through the darkened streets.

To another future.

Not just full of silver and smiles,

but also full of love and warmth.

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