By J. Marie
Warning!! This a lemon yaoi fanfiction starring Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII. It is rated NC-17. Can you say, "Seifer x Squall Obsession", anyone??
I managed to have a nice and peaceful wet dream, only interrupted by my orgasm.
Unfortunately, Zell was staring at me when I woke up.
I glared at him.
"If I knew you were this horny while you slept, I woulda opted to sleep with Seifer. And you're the one washing the sheets," he said calmly, still lying down with his head on the pillow. I snatched the pillow from underneath his head, and placed it over his face.
"Hey!! Mmmrrrmmmphhhh!!!!" Zell squealed, trying to push off the pillow, but not succeeding. It's not that I hate Zell. He just annoys the hell outta me.
I pushed down a little farther, waiting another few seconds before releasing the little bastard so he could breathe. He gasped for air and sat up, ready to fight. Instead of taking the bait, I just calmly got up and headed to the shower, to clean myself up.
I guess you could say I'm not much of a morning person.
Zell was still fuming when I got out, but I ignored him, stripping the bedsheets. I bundled them all up and headed off to the laundry room, not bothering to put on anything more than my boxers and a robe. I stuffed the bedsheets into the washer, angry at myself. I couldn't remember my wet dreams any more, but I just knew they were about Seifer.
Yesterday I had realized that I had been lusting after Seifer subconsciously. I wondered if I had been doing this my whole life, and suspected so. And now I wanted it to go away. Lust, desire, love, obsession, whatever. It was all weakness. It was going to get me in trouble. I was either going to get my heart broken, or my neck, depending on Seifer's inclinations. I didn't want to fall in love again. Elle, Rinoa, whatever. Just one big heartache.
Seifer was my enemy. My childhood rival. Now, of all a sudden, he was acting nice. Seifer never stayed civil for long. I wondered what he was up to, naturally distrusting his apology and desire to make amends. Seifer never felt sorry for anything he did. Ever. I don't think he's capable of it. Good or bad, Seifer was too arrogant to see anything he did as wrong. More likely than not, he was pretending to be nice to get something he wanted. Or someone. An odd surge of jealously at the thought of his apparent closeness to Quistis coursed through me before I made it go away. He was probably being nice to me to make her happy.
Then there was the guy thing. I'll admit, like every other human being, I had thought about sex with men. Granted, it was a consistent basis, but still. I'd never felt strongly for any man. Not for many women either, but even less for men. Was I gay? Was this a new development about myself? I mean, true, sex with women tended to bore me, and never really satisfied me, but I never thought it was because I was actually gay. I didn't really want to have sex with anyone, except for Seifer now. I never had a sex drive before now. I reflected over my sexual preference, and decided to leave it alone. It was far too muddled for me to dwell on this early in the morning. Maybe I was gay. Could explain a few things about myself.
And that left me with this strange and twisted desire to be dominated. I was not a man easily aroused, but the idea of Seifer forcing himself on me really got me going. I wanted it rough, kinky, and hard. I wanted to be tied up, chained, and handcuffed. I wanted to be stripped naked and sexually degraded. I wanted Seifer to show me he was in charge, and force his will on me. I didn't want to be truly hurt, or raped, but I still wanted it rough. I'll admit that I'd always kinda liked being tied up, or spanked. At the end of my relationship with Rinoa, the only way she could make me hard was by handcuffing me and spanking me. But now I wanted Seifer to be some sort of male dominatrix. I'd never wanted anything so kinky before.
I could tie a few of these things up in real nice psychological knots. Seifer had always been beating me up, bullying me, terrorizing me, forcing me to do things his way our whole lives. Maybe I had grown use to this comfort, and now was aroused at the thought of this relationship being translated into sex. It was a sort of fall back, emotionally. And if I was gay, which I was still unsure about, despite my obvious lust for another man, then Seifer was an extremely desirable man. It could fit neatly into some psychiatrist's folder, easily explainable. Then I'd be prescribed medication, and labeled a sexual deviant. Yippie kai yay.
And now my libido was off the charts. I was having wet dreams like a thirteen-year-old, and spontaneous erections at the mere sight of Seifer. Not to mention when he touched me. I clacked my tongue ring against my teeth as I mulled, okay brooded, over these facts.
"What is that annoying sound?"
I looked up and realized that Quistis was standing in front of me, holding a pile of her clothes for washing. I stopped clacking and sighed, not wanting to get into it.
"Open your mouth, Squall," she ordered.
I knew she wouldn't let it go, so I just did as she said, even sticking out my tongue. She clucked her tongue at the sight of my tongue rings. "Two? Why two tongue studs, Squall?" she asked.
"I kinda liked them. And I was drunk. And high. And the girl wanted to get eaten out by a guy with two tongue rings," I shrugged.
"And did you?" Quistis asked with a mischevious grin.
"Did I what?" I asked, stalling on purpose.
"Eat her out with your two tongue rings?"
"Nope. Never ate out any girl, nor do I intend to start. I got close with her, but the Ecstasy wore off before I did."
"Who was she?"
"I couldn't tell you. I don't even remember her name."
"I know both girls and guys that would kill for oral sex from a man with two tongue rings," Quistis grinned.
"Well, they're all out of luck."
Quistis shrugged, and put the bedsheets in the dryer, and put her own clothes to wash. I told her I'd see her later, and went to get dressed before breakfast. I chose a black t-shirt that said "I'm only wearing black until they make something darker" and my black cords. I put on all my jewelry, and began powdering my face white. Zell, who was apparently only just getting done with his shower, stopped to stare at me.
"If you take a picture, it lasts longer," I told him, putting on my mascara.
"It's just.... so gay.... to put on make-up," he gaped as I put on my eyeliner.
"So putting on some make-up makes me gay?" I asked, as I reached for the black lipstick.
"No. But it makes people think," he shrugged.
"Do I, or have I ever, given a damn about what others think of me?"
"No. I was only saying so, in case you didn't want, you know, guys hitting on you. Cuz they might think you're gay."
"And what if I was? What's wrong with being gay?"
"Um, nothing, Squall. I was just saying."
"Well stop saying shit, and go do something productive, like letting Seifer beat up on you, or something," I said crossly. I like Zell okay and all, but sometimes he can be the most irritating person in the world. Well, next to Rinoa.
Zell looked slightly hurt and huffed out. I ignored him and finished with my make-up. Everyone was giving me the third degree already, and it was only 10am.
I headed out for breakfast, which was a bunch of boxes of breakfast cereal. Seifer was hogging the box of Cocoa Pebbles, and Selphie was hogging the Fruit Loops. I poured myself a bowl of Cheerios and sat down, watching with some amusement as Zell tried to get some Cocoa Pebbles, and was knocked on his ass by Seifer. Quistis was eating Corn Pops, and Irvine shared his Apple Jacks with Zell. Matron made sure we all got our orange juice, and in an effort of humor, handed out Flinstones vitamins, which we all dutifully ate.
What topped the morning was when Zell put on cartoons. He and Selphie were almost orgasmic at watching Bugs Bunny. The rest of us tried to figure out if the two of them had been dropped on their heads as small children. Matron denied it, but our suspicions remained.
It started to rain, so we had little to do that day, other than watch movies, and play Monopoly with Matron and Cid. Selphie won, and we all thought she was cheating. I rather enjoyed the rain, so when they brought out the Candy Land board, I wandered off to the sliding glass doors, and sat down by them, enjoying the look of a beach in the rain.
Lunch came and went, consisting of various cans of soups. Zell tried to say something when Seifer picked out Chicken and Stars, but a sharp slap to the back of the head nullified his comments. Matron and Cid left for the evening, leaving us enough food for dinner, and saying they'd be late, as they were going to a party of a mutual friend of theirs. Everyone's conversations degraded in value further without the parental figures. I stayed out of almost all the conversations, quietly eating my tomato soup in my little corner, listening to my Garbage CD. My thoughts from the morning were enough to keep my occupied.
I finally decided I just needed to get fucked by Seifer, and then everything would go away. I just knew it would. It had to be something fleeting, I knew it. I just wondered how to go about such a thing.
"But you gotta!!!" a feminine screech penetrated my headphones. Only Selphie could screech like that.
I looked over to see Seifer holding up a crucifix in front of him, directed at the perky girl. She was bouncing around excitedly, agitated about something. Apparently, evil as strong as Selphie was not daunted by his cross.
"Go away, Selphie. I'm not doing it," Seifer told her in a much abused tone.
"But everybody's going to do it!! I'll make you all. Wanna hear The Smurfs' theme song?" she bubbled, grinning maliciously.
We all visibly winced. I tried to turn up my CD player louder, but even that could not protect me from Selphie's evil singing. Now some people say Marilyn Manson is frightening. I disagree. I find The Smurfs frightening.
"No, Selphie!! Don't!!! It's too cruel!!!" Irvine cried, as Seifer gasped. She began singing it, and I swear not even Shirley Manson telling me she thinks she's paranoid saved me from that horrible sound. We all held our hands to our heads, and Seifer dropped his crucifix, screaming for mercy. You may call that melodramatic, but if you've ever heard Selphie Tilmitt sing The Smurfs' theme song, then you'd be just as melodramatic.
We all began to plead for mercy. She soon stopped, her smile full of evil satisfaction. "Alright. So is everyone going to play my game?" she grinned.
"Yes, Selphie, whatever you want. Just don't sing that shit anymore," Zell begged, out of breath from his effort to scream and drown her out. He had been unsuccessful.
"Wonderful!! It's called 'Random Sex Roles'!" she bubbled. I took off my headphones, since they had been useless in my effort to drown her out.
"What...?" Seifer asked.
" 'Random Sex Roles'. It'll be fun. But we all have to play," Selphie nodded sagely.
"It sounds kinky. What do we do?" Irvine asked, his interest taken now.
"Well, it's a sex game, obviously. But it's completely random. It involves our character cards from the Triple Triad game. Basically, I draw three cards, and these three cards represent the dominant partner. Then the three dominants draw a card each, and whoever you draw is whomever you have sex with tonight, your submissive partner. Everybody clear?" she bubbled, producing six cards, and showing us each of our own faces.
"Whoa!! Hold up!! There's only two girls, and four guys!!" Zell said, realizing exactly what Selphie's game was all about. I found myself intrigued. What if Seifer was my dominant partner? All my problems could be solved by a guiltless night of sex, without any devotion to emotion. And I wouldn't even have to figure out a way to convince him to do it! This was almost too scarily convenient.
"So? Two of you guys could get lucky with one of us girls. One of you guys will get lucky with another guy. Or maybe the four of you will have to have sex with each other and me and Quisty will hook up. That's why it's random. You have to take your chances. I mean, we're all great-looking people, so you couldn't ask for a better group to choose sex partners from," Selphie grinned. I swear her eyes were glinting in delight.
"Have sex with another guy?? You're kidding!" Zell cried.
"Whatsamatter, chicken wuss? Are you chicken?" Seifer grinned, surprising me with his wolfishness.
"You don't have to go all the way. Oral sex is fine. Mutual masturbation is fine too. As long as it's some sort of sexual activity. And you have to swear on your honor to actually do it, and not go into the room, make noises and pretend," Selphie said easily, obviously not disturbed by the idea that her boyfriend had a better chance of scoring with a guy than with her.
"As long as you don't sing the damn Smurf song again, I'll take my chances," I said.
"Sounds like fun, actually," Irvine said, not surprisingly. Irvine was a ladies' man second, sex addict first.
"Alright, I'm in," Quistis shrugged easily.
"Heh. Guaranteed sex. Could be worse," Seifer grinned.
Zell looked pissed. He was apparently the only one disturbed by the fact that he could potentially wind up in bed with another man. Then he sighed and hung his head. Zell wasn't the type to step out of something if everyone else was doing it. He was a follower, not a leader.
"Alright!! I'll do it!" he hollered, plopping down. He glanced over at Quistis, and we could all tell he wanted to wind up with her card, or vice versa. We all swore on our honor to fulfill the bargain, and have sex with whomever's card was drawn.
Selphie grinned. "I knew you'd all agree! It'll be so much fun!" she giggled as she shuffled the six cards, and then placed them all face down.
"Now, I'll be drawing the dominants myself, since it's my game. Then the dominants will draw their submissives," she said, pausing over the cards. Whoever I wound up in bed with, I just prayed it wasn't her. I might have to vomit.
"Just draw them already, Selphie. We all know you just want to get your rocks off tonight," Seifer said impatiently.
Selphie giggled and turned over one card, revealing Irvine's face. Irvine grinned. She turned over another card, revealing Quistis' face. Quistis dimpled, and I figured if I didn't wind up with Seifer, I wouldn't mind winding up with her. She owned a whip.
Selphie turned over the last card, revealing Seifer's face. Seifer looked pleased. I got this feeling he was more concerned about being submissive than anything else. I crossed my fingers.
Selphie took the last three cards and shuffled them, then fanned them out in front of the three "dominants". "Alright, guys. Do you feel lucky?" she grinned.
Seifer, Quistis, and Irvine all glanced at each other and reached out to pull a card. All of our breaths were being held. They all looked at them, their reactions varied and interesting. Quistis didn't seem disturbed, and gave a little half smile at her card. Irvine gaped, looking at his card with disbelief. Seifer started to laugh.
"Well???? Tell us!!!" Selphie bubbled, dying of suspense like the rest of us.
Irvine threw down his card unhappily. "Of all the rotten luck!" he sighed. We all stared at the card.
It was Zell.
Zell's face turned purple. Not red. Not blue. But both, making him purple.
"I HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH IRVINE KINNEAS???? OF ALL THE GUYS HERE, I HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH THE ONLY ONE WHO'S FUCKED THE GIRL WHO SINGS SMURF SONGS???????" Zell roared. We were all taken aback by his reaction.
Irvine blinked. "Well, don't feel too bad, Zell. I have to have sex with the only guy here who's testicles haven't dropped yet!" the cowboy retorted, obviously irritated.
"Hey!! Everyone agreed to the chances!!" Selphie cried, trying to calm them both down. They were glaring at each other.
"He probably has some sort of disease from all the girls he's screwed!" Zell growled.
"I'm clean!! And you're just jealous that I get to screw real girls, and not inflatable ones!!" Irvine retorted.
"Save it for the bedroom, gentlemen. You can work out all your frustrations on each other. Now zip it. We all knew what we were getting into. We're all consenting adults. Now are you going to back out? I know I don't want anyone to feel pressured into sex, so back out now. But then you won't be getting any sex at all tonight. And you're still going to have to share a room," Quistis said, her voice commanding enough that I wouldn't feel too disappointed if she drew my card.
Zell swallowed and stared down at the floor. Irvine sighed. "Well, if he'd stop insulting me, I'd be okay with it. I don't mind having sex with him. And I definitely don't want to have to go without," Irvine shrugged.
"What a shocker," I said sourly. I got a few snickers.
"Alright, I'll do it. But only because I said I would," Zell griped.
"No pressure, Zell. Don't do it if you think you won't like it," Selphie said, giving the little blonde a way out.
Zell gritted his teeth, and glared at Irvine. "You're not putting anything in my ass, cowboy!! Oral only!" he snarled.
"I can deal. Oral's my favorite, actually," Irvine grinned.
"Another shocker," I sighed, getting a few more snickers.
"Alright! Seify! Quisty! Show your cards!! I wanna know whether I'll be getting fish or sausage tonight!" Selphie grinned. We all groaned.
Seifer chuckled, and Quistis smiled and they both threw down their cards. We all stared at them for a minute.
"Looks like fish for you tonight, Selphie," Irvine observed.
Quistis had thrown down Selphie's card, and Seifer mine. I stared down at them in shock. Now that I was actually going to have sex with Seifer, and the possibility was a reality, I immediately didn't want it.
I'm like that.
Having sex with him like this would be too weird. And I realized that despite my fantasies and thoughts, the hard reality of sex with another man was alien, and slightly intimidating. Sure the fantasy of him tying me to the bed naked and ravishing me was fine, but the reality was scary. What if it hurt? What if I didn't like it? What if I couldn't get hard? I had a history of difficulty getting an erection during sex. By myself everything worked fine, but girls had to work hard to make me hard. What if he hated the idea? What if he got disgusted? What if he thought I was unattractive? What if he could never look me in the eye again? What if I couldn't look him in the eye again? What if I came too fast? Would he torment me with my sexual fallacies, like he tormented me about every other fallacy I had?
What if we both liked it?
Every reaction was terrifying.
Now I was in complete sympathy with Zell.
Selphie and Quistis smiled at each other, the only pair seemingly pleased about their match. Seifer was looking at me somberly. I wondered what he was thinking.
"Gonna back out, Leonhart?" Seifer asked me in a tone full on contempt.
"Are you?" I asked, keeping my expression cold and emotionless.
"What for? I knew my chances. I agreed to it. You're not bad looking... for a guy and all," he shrugged.
I swallowed. "Then neither am I. I knew my chances as well. 1 out of 5 was for you. I'll deal," I said, trying not to act like I was interested, or scared. I was trying to act like I didn't care.
I'm pretty good at that.
"Alright. Now is the time to set the ground rules. I know we're all clean, otherwise we wouldn't still be in SeeD. Contraception, given the pairings," here Selphie giggled, "is not necessary. However, if anyone wants condoms, then your partner has to agree, out of respect. And now you set up what you're willing to do. If someone doesn't want to have anal, or oral, or whatever, your partner has to agree. Find a nice midway point. I brought porno, if that's necessary to get anyone's rocks off. I'm sure Headmaster Cid has some Viagra running around if you need that, too."
The four of us guys rolled our eyes. In our early twenties, none of us were that bad off yet.
"Alright. Quisty, I'm cool with just about everything. You?" Selphie bubbled.
"The usual. No animals, pain, or bodily waste," Quistis shrugged. It was funny, but the fact that she seemed fine with having sex with another girl was not entirely surprising to me.
"Definitely. Now you guys have to set terms," Selphie said to the four of us, who were all making it a point to stare off in other directions.
Zell looked over at Selphie. "Well, I already said nothing but oral. But do I have to give him oral?" he asked with a childish pout.
Irvine looked up. "If you think I'm going to suck you off and not get anything in return-" he said to Zell before Selphie cut him off.
"It's mutual pleasure, Zell. If you're willing to accept a blow job, then you have to be willing to give one. Otherwise, it's not fair. Now do either of you want condoms?" Selphie said with authority.
Zell sighed, looking put out. "Alright, alright. I guess I don't need condoms, but I'm not swallowing," he said petulantly.
Irvine rolled his eyes. "I don't need them either for just oral, and if he's not swallowing, then neither am I," he said.
"Just think of it as a hotdog with salty mayo on it, Zell," Seifer grinned, and receiving a nasty glare from Zell.
"Seifer? Squall?" Selphie said, turning her attention to us. I swallowed, setting my face in stone.
"I can handle anything he can dish out," I said arrogantly.
Seifer's eyes flashed at the challenge. "And I'll dish out, Leonhart, don't worry," he said dangerously. A thrill passed through my body, but I don't know if it was from fear, or from desire.
"Condoms? Porn? Viagra?"
"Don't need them," Seifer said calmly.
"Not necessary," I said in response, feeling my stomach do flip flops. I was as nervous as a virgin. I wanted to have sex, but I didn't. I was utterly terrified.
Too late to back out now.
Return to Archive | next | previous