Author's Notes: *You know the drill….
For His Love
Zell’s house soon came into view. Squall began to feel more than a little apprehensive.
Zell didn’t stop walking, didn’t turn to look at him.
"I don’t think…um, this isn’t really…"
Zell’s soft laughter just barely reached his ears.
"Nobody’s here, don’t worry."
Squall relaxed, somewhat. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Zell’s mom, quite the contrary, actually. He just felt very uncomfortable about making nice with her and then going upstairs to violate her baby boy. Too weird. He watched Zell stand up on his toes to reach the spare key his mother kept over the door. When he’d turned the knob and replaced the key, he turned to Squall, his expression neutral.
"Come on in."
Squall complied reluctantly. It didn’t matter if they were alone here, he still didn’t feel right.
"Maybe we should just go to the hotel. It’s quiet, it’s private, and we can talk there."
Zell closed the door behind them and stepped into the kitchen. Squall continued to hover near the door. He could hear Zell rattling around in the refrigerator.
"Nah, this is fine. Hey, go sit down, I’ll get us a drink."
Squall shoved his hands into his pockets and walked slowly into the dining room. It seemed there was no way out of this one. Zell was determined to have this out on his own turf. And while Squall didn’t particularly like it, he could understand his reasoning, and so he sat down. After all, he probably deserved all the uneasiness Zell could throw at him. He guessed he had it coming.
Zell bounced into the room, a tumbler in each hand. His customary smile was fixed upon his face, the black ink of his tattoo a stark contrast to the electric blue of his eyes. Squall realized then that he’d noticed Zell each and every time he’d walked into a room. Any room. His presence was almost magnetic and even now Squall could feel the pull. What he didn’t understand was why it had taken him this long to recognize his feelings for what they were. Pride, certainly, for who and what Zell always was. But that other feeling, the one he’d only begin to realize he had, the heat and the inability to reason. And more recently, the sharp spiking sensation in his stomach he’d come to know as desire. Since the first time he’d felt the touch of Zell’s lips, his skin, he’d been utterly lost to anything or anyone else. What he’d felt for Rinoa could never compare to what he felt right now. It was at that moment he knew he’d done the right thing for her, for them.
"Hey, wake up! Here." He held the glass out to him, the amber liquid swirling slightly within it.
He took it, their fingers brushing slightly during the exchange. Squall shivered slightly and Zell smiled, a small, knowing grin.
"What’s this?" He sniffed at it hesitantly before raising the glass to his lips.
"Zell flopped down on the sofa beside him and took a deep swallow of his own.
"Glenlivet," He breathed. "Fourteen years old as a matter of fact."
Squall lowered the rim from his lips.
"Scotch? Whose is this, should we be drinking it?"
Zell drained his glass and set it down on the table beside him.
"What are you, a boy scout? It’s my mom’s, drink it, it’s the best stuff we got."
Squall bristled, not liking Zell’s taunting. He tossed back the contents of his glass and set it down heavily. Zell laughed.
"If that didn’t work I would’ve double dared you."
Squall laughed at that.
"Real mature, Dincht."
Zell smiled slightly.
Squall turned his body toward Zell, his arm resting on the top of the sofa.
"Zell, I know I was wrong. I need to tell you…"
Zell shook his head.
"Don’t, Squall. This isn’t about being sorry. I didn’t bring you here to apologize."
Squall angled his head, a lock of his sable hair falling across his forehead and into his eyes. He didn’t brush it away.
"Then why did you bring me here?"
Zell’s face turned serious, something no one ever really saw.
"I brought you here to remind you that this is me, the same guy I’ve always been. I haven’t changed, Squall, I’m still me."
He yearned to reach up and brush the silky hair back from Squall’s face, but he refrained, knowing if he touched him, this discussion wouldn’t take place. And it needed to happen if they were ever going to get past this.
"I know who you are, Zell. But I’ve changed. Me. And I don’t know to separate the Squall that everyone knows from the person I am when I’m with you."
Zell shook his head, his expression bemused.
"You talk as though you’re two different people. It’s one person, Squall. It’s just you. It’s the side of you that no one sees, but it’s still you."
It sounded so simple. Too simple. Is that it? Could it be so easy?
"I don’t want to change you, Squall, I just want you to understand that we can be together without turning you into someone else. I want you. I love you."
It was spoken so plainly, without ceremony. Squall knew he spoke from his heart. He always did. Whether he was talking about good hotdogs or explaining military protocol, Zell was just Zell.
"I’m not asking that we hold hands and giggle together over lunch in the cafeteria." Zell continued. Squall smiled. "What’s between us can stay between us. It’s that simple. Your reputation is as important to me as it is to you. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make you understand that."
Squall gazed at him silently. Zell stared back. Neither of them spoke while Squall considered Zell’s words.
Why should I be unhappy? Why should I put everyone else’s feelings above my own?
Zell watched him pondering everything that had been said and as he watched him war with himself, he could resist no longer. He reached up and brushed the lock of hair out of Squall’s face. Squall caught his wrist and brought it to his lips. He closed his eyes slowly, his spiky lashes brushing his cheeks, and touched his lips to the sensitive skin of Zell’s inner wrist. Zell trembled and breathed softly.
"I can make you happy, Squall, just give me the chance to show you. Stop running from me."
Squall lowered Zell’s arm and opened his eyes. It was as if Zell could read his mind and oh, how he wanted him. He lifted his eyes to Zell and swallowed. Zell’s breathing was uneven and he licked his lips nervously.
Squall cut him off by laying a finger over his lips. He moved in slowly, closing the distance between them. Zell leaned in closer, Squall’s finger still pressing against his lips. When they’re heads were practically touching, Squall slid his hand down to rest on Zell’s shoulder. Zell closed his eyes and whispered, "…love you."
Zell leaned even closer to Squall and placing one hand on his cheek, captured Squall’s lips in a soft kiss. He moved his lips over Squall’s slowly, rubbing back and forth, his tongue darting out to touch the corner of Squall’s mouth. Squall opened his mouth to suck in air and Zell slid his tongue inside, stroking and tasting.
Squall gathered a handful of Zell’s jacket into his hand, pulling and squeezing the material restlessly. He nipped at Zell’s lower lip with small even teeth and Zell moaned against his mouth and began to push at Squall’s jacket. Then he paused, seeming to consider his actions and he eased away from Squall, breaking the kiss.
Squall gazed up at him through a haze of passion, confusion in his eyes.
"Zell? What’s wrong? Why did you stop?" He sat up quickly, tugging his jacket into place.
Zell stood up and looked down at him, desire etched clearly into his features.
"Come on, let’s go to my room." His voice was low, but Squall could hear him. He too, stood, and grabbed Zell’s hand, letting him lead him up the stairs and into the bedroom. It was much the same as the last time they’d been here, when Zell’s mom had invited everyone over for a late Christmas dinner. Zell’s mom…Squall frowned, remembering where they were.
"Zell, we shouldn’t be here. This is your mother’s house and this just isn’t the right…"
Zell closed the door behind them, even though they were alone, and looked at Squall solemnly.
"She knows, Squall. She knows how I feel about you, she always has. This isn’t wrong. Stop being ashamed."
Squall moved beside him and stroked the back of his neck.
"I’m not ashamed, I just feel funny doing this in someone else’s home."
Zell eased the fur-lined jacket off of Squall’s shoulders and tossed it in the corner.
"This isn’t someone else’s home. It’s mine." His eyes dared Squall to argue and he let it go. Besides, he was having a hard time concentrating on anything with Zell running his hands down the front of his shirt. Zell slid his hands under Squall’s tank top and moved them up his chest, thoroughly enjoying the small shiver that rippled through Squall’s body.
Squall had to bite his lip to keep from moaning aloud at Zell’s feathery touch. He closed his eyes and simply let the exquisite sensations take possession of his senses.
"Squall?" Zell mumbled against his neck.
Squall dropped his head back to give him better access.
Zell ran his tongue up the curve of Squall’s neck and bit him softly on his ear. Squall’s breathing quickened.
"Do you want me?" Zell asked, his lips flush against Squall’s neck. Squall nodded jerkily as Zell raised his tank top to his neck and began to tug it over his head. He tossed it aside and turned his attention back to Squall. He stood in the center of the room, bare-chested, leather jeans slung low on his hips and Zell licked his lips as he contemplated all of the things he could do to him. He’d offer no protest, of that Zell was certain. His erection was clearly visible against his zipper, making the button on his jeans stick out. Zell felt himself harden at the sight of it and he took a firm grip on his self-discipline, lest he tear off the remainder of Squall’s clothes and take him hard and fast on the floor. He intended to employ a little more finesse than that.
"I said, do you want me?" He slid his hand down the front of Squall’s jeans, rubbing the length of him. Squall whimpered.
"Yes." He whispered, incapable of further speech.
Good. Zell advanced on him; standing so close they breathed the same air, their bodies touching. Zell knew Squall was very close to surrender and as he lowered himself to his knees, he dropped little kisses down Squall’s chest.
Squall looked down at Zell and caught him grinning wickedly up at him as he slowly unfastened the button on his jeans. To his credit, he didn’t make a sound, but he felt as though he would burst out of his jeans if Zell didn’t get them off quickly.
Zell circled Squall’s bellybutton with his tongue and nipped at his belly. Squall shuddered and felt himself break into a cold sweat as Zell took his zipper between his teeth and began to lower it slowly, all the while pushing his jeans off of his hips.
When his jeans were around his thighs, Zell paused, and grasped the heel of his right boot.
"Lift your foot." He commanded, and Squall did, tangling his hands in Zell’s hair to balance himself. When Zell had removed one boot and turned to the other, Squall lifted it as well, not releasing his hold.
Zell helped him step out of his jeans, letting them slide through his hands like water, watching them fold into themselves on the floor.
He inched closer to Squall, on eye level with Squall’s erection, feeling himself harden even more in response. Take it slow.
Squall stood silently, the only indication of his excitement evident in the rapid rise and fall of his chest. Zell felt Squall’s hands tighten in his hair as he took his erection in one hand and rubbed his face against it. He breathed in Squall’s scent, closing his eyes in anticipation of what he was about to do, and slowly slid his other hand over Squall’s hip, steadying him.
When Squall felt Zell’s tongue flicker over the tip of him, his penis jerked, his heartbeat jumped. Zell was holding him still with one hand, preventing him from instinctively thrusting forward into his mouth. Inch by inch Zell’s lips closed over his penis, his tongue caressing it with light brushing stokes.
Zell released his hold on Squall’s penis, moving his hand to cover his balls. They tightened further at Zell’s touch and Squall tasted his own blood on his tongue as he bit down harder on his lip to stifle his gasp of pleasure.
Zell slid his hand over Squall’s hip and settled it firmly on his rear as he continued to lick and suck on his throbbing length. Squall began to make small, incoherent noises in the back of his throat and he had to lock his knees to keep from sinking to the floor. Zell knew exactly where to touch and how much pressure to apply and Squall slowly became aware of the impending orgasm that was riding fast on the flames licking through his body. Zell felt his body tense and he tightened his grip on Squall and pulled his penis further into his mouth until his lips touched the wiry hair above Squall’s erection. With Zell’s tongue coaxing the orgasm from him, he came in a blinding rush, jerking with the force of it, moaning at last, unable to hold it inside any longer. His knees buckled and Zell steadied him at his waist while he continued to lick at the pearly drops that hung suspended from Squall’s sensitive penis.
Zell rose from his knees, his hands still gripping Squall’s waist, and caught his lips in a possessive kiss. His tongue invaded swiftly, stroking the inside of Squall’s mouth, letting him taste his own essence on Zell’s tongue. As he plundered his mouth, Zell recognized the faint metallic traces of blood on Squall’s lips and his own rigid length rose up high on Squall’s belly as he sucked the blood from his swollen lips.
Squall was panting against Zell’s lips and his penis stirred again, lifting of its own accord to touch Zell’s straining erection.
Zell moaned against Squall’s mouth and released his waist, running his hands up Squall’s back to rest on the back of his neck. He broke the kiss and looked at Squall, who was just beginning to open his eyes. They were the color of gunmetal, the pupils dilated with desire, and try as he might; he could form no words with his mouth.
Zell didn’t care. He didn’t need to hear any words. Instead, he grabbed Squall’s hand and began to pull him toward the bed. Squall followed obediently; glad that he would be able to sit. His legs were like jelly.
But Zell shook his head when Squall moved to the edge of his bed and instead pulled him toward the window. He gazed questioningly at Zell but uttered not a word when Zell moved behind him and pushed him closer to the window. Realization slowly dawned when Zell forced him to brace his hands on the wall on either side of the window and kicked his feet apart. He found himself bending forward, braced against the wall with Zell’s hands hard on his hips. He could feel the tip of Zell’s penis brushing the small of his back and his own erection sprang to life again under the expert touch of Zell’s hand. Zell leaned into Squall and wrapped an arm around his belly, pulling his ass flush against his penis. It jumped at the contact and Zell bit back a moan. Squall was pushing against him, signaling his desire and Zell claimed him fast, pushing into him, stretching him, feeling him tighten against his sex.
"Unnh…Squall…oh, fuck, don’t move." Zell steeled himself against the savage need to come, so very close to losing control. He held himself still, pulsing wildly inside Squall’s tight passage, letting the initial shock wash over him. Squall didn’t move, but his penis jerked of its own volition in Zell’s tight fist.
Zell understood his need and began to work Squall’s erection back and forth in his hand, moving slightly within him as if to test his ability to hold off his orgasm.
Squall bent his head, totally consumed by Zell’s possession, unable to think, to speak, to do anything but give himself over to his body’s demands. With Squall’s head down, Zell had a clear view of the street through his window and he saw Seifer and Quistis walk slowly out of a shop across the street. He was vaguely aware of Squall’s seed seeping through his fingers as he leaned further into him and began thrusting in and out, completely lost in him, out of control. He pressed his own hand hard against the window, the heavy glass holding strong against the force of the contact, but making an audible sound nonetheless, stinging his palm.
He lost all cognizance when his orgasm enveloped him and he didn’t see Seifer’s small smirk as he closed his eyes and cried out, spilling himself into Squall and pulling him tight against his belly, biting his shoulder in the heat of his orgasm.
And as he sank to the floor, pulling his lover with him, his hand slid down the window, leaving his wet handprint on the glass, a proclamation of his own surrender.
Author's Notes: I tried to keep a tight rein on my tendency to be more…erm…explicit~did I succeed?
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