Unsure

By Kitana Chou

Irvine Kinneas is a slut. It is common knowledge that he will fuck anything in a skirt. But if anyone ever cared to ask him about it, he might just tell them that isn't true. In truth it is usually the girls who make the moves and he, though no one would believe, turns them down. It is a little known, or more accurately an unknown, fact that Irvine Kinneas is actually, believe it or not, a virgin.

On this particular Saturday night the long haired cowboy was sitting on a barstool at The Spark, the local club, surrounded by a crowd of about six girls. All of them were flirting and trying to get picked as the famous Irvine Kinneas' companion for the night. The bishonen laughed and flirted along with them, not really paying them any attention. He was too deep in thought, thinking about the one and only person e wanted for a 'companion.'

A long-haired blonde girl pressed up against his right side, trying to get his attention. A few of her blond strands caught his eye and made him picture the face of the one he longed for.

Zell...

Yes, that's right. Irvine, the slutty womanizing skirt-chaser, was spending his time fantasizing about Zell Dincht, a man.

A rather attractive man at that , thought Irvine with a sigh. He turned away from the girls and tried to make them understand that he wasn't interested... it didn't work, the blonde girl pressed even closer to him, trying to both press her breasts to him and make her cleavage more obvious, which proved difficult.

"What'cha thinkin' bout, cowboy?" she breathed seductively in his ear.

"Well, there is this incredibly sexy blonde, and I was just thinkin' bout all the fun stuff I wanna do with certain parts of their body," he said loud enough for all six girls to hear. Five collective groans of disappointment could be heard and the others walked away in defeat, leaving only Irvine and the blonde, who was looking rather smug.

"Is that so?" she purred, sounding extremely proud of herself. It almost made him feel sorry for her. Almost.

"Yeah, too bad you're here and he's not," he muttered before pushing here away. She stood gaping at him for a minute, trying to process that not only had she been rejected, but also the man she had been trying for was gay. When the truth finally sunk in, the blonde glared at him angrily.

"YOU... YOU LITTLE... " she screamed, her face turning a very unattractive shade of red (not that he had thought her attractive to begin with,) "FAGGOT!!" The girl stomped off looking extremely pissed.

Irvine winced as everyone in the club stopped what they were doing at looked at him.

Well, guess my secret's out... Irvine thought bitterly. He downed a few more glasses of straight vodka, then stood shakily to leave, only to see the four shocked faces of Squall, Quistis, Selphie, and Rinoa watching him intently as he stumbled to the door totally smashed.

Well at least Zell isn't here. That would've been great ! Them knowing is bad enough, but Zell... if he ever knew I would die , 'cause there is no way in hell that Zell would ever feel the same for me . Irvine sighed and pretty much fell out the front door and into a pair of strong arms.

"Looks like fag boy went and got himself drunk." Irvine knew that voice. He hated that voice. It was the voice that constantly teased and insulted his one true love...

"Fuck off, Seifer!" Irvine growled angrily. The arms tightened their hold on his waist when he tried in vain to push away from the taller man. On a normal day, he would have been free within seconds, but seeing as how he had downed ten glasses of pure vodka, Irvine was about as strong as a drowned kitten.

"You'd like that," Seifer whispered right into the drunk gunman's ear, "wouldn't you?"

"You aren't my type, asshole!" Irvine finally wiggled free of the blonde's grasp only to fall onto his hands and knees and throw up about five of the ten drinks he had consumed not half an hour ago. Seifer laughed and picked the shaky cowboy up like a baby and started carrying him out of Balamb and towards the far-off Garden.

"Put me down!" Irvine tried to wiggle free weakly before passing out.

When he awoke, he was still quite a bit tipsy, and when he tried to push himself up into a sitting position hoping to find out where he was, it took him four tries. Finally, he was in a sitting position and recognized his location as the bed in his dorm. He still wore all his clothes, duster, boots, hat and all. He turned his head to the right and was a blonde man sitting on his couch.

"Zell... " he whispered hopefully.

"No, sorry to disappoint you," the figure stated dryly, standing and walking towards where the still weak Irvine was sprawled on his bed. It took Irvine a minute to process the words and realize exactly who it was crawling onto his bed to straddle him.

"Seifer, get the fuck off of me!" Irvine yelled, with fear creeping into his voice. Seifer ignored his plea and moved his hands to remove Irvine's duster, throwing it to the floor. He then tore Irvine's shirt, exposing his pale muscular chest and rosy pink nipples. Irvine gasped in shock, unable to voice his protest. He looked up at Seifer with pleading eyes, but that only succeeded in making Seifer's wicked grin widen. Seifer quickly bent down and captured one hard nipple with his teeth, biting down hard.

Irvine's sharp scream broke the silence and Seifer actually drew blood, but was quieted immediately as Seifer's lips left his chest and crushed down onto his mouth, forcing his tongue into Irvine's unwilling mouth, probing and exploring every inch of the warm cavern.

No! A voice in Irvine's head screamed. No! I love Zell! I don't want this ! Tears tried to push through his tightly closed eyes but he held them back and chose instead to use what little strength he had left to try and push the larger man off of him. He cursed himself for drinking so much that he could barely use even a quarter of his normal strength. Seifer removed his mouth from Irvine's, quickly replacing it with two fingers.

"Now, now cowboy," Seifer whispered into his ear, "Try to keep it down. You wouldn't want Zell to hear you scream; he might come investigate... " Seifer left the threat unsaid but Irvine heard it loud and clear:

If he didn't go along with it and keep quiet, not only would he suffer, but if Zell heard anything though the thin wall that separated their rooms, he might come over to check on him and then Seifer might hurt him...

Irvine stopped struggling immediately and let the two fingers on his lips be pressed into his mouth.

"Suck," Seifer growled, moving his other hand to the button of Irvine's pants. Irvine whimpered when his pants were unbuttoned and slid off his legs along with his boxers and boots, but complied to the order nonetheless. Seifer's fingers tasted bitter and gross, almost causing Irvine to gag at the mere taste.

Irvine was pulled down so he was no longer sitting against the headboard but lying on his back with a still fully dressed Seifer crouching between his thighs. He threw his head to the side and tried to ignore the licking, kissing, biting and caressing that was being administered to his chest and stomach.

The tears that had been threatening to fall since the start now won over when he heard the sound of Seifer's zipper. Seifer removed his two fingers from Irvine's mouth an f trailed them down his chin, to his neck, and across to one shoulder. Seifer pressed his fingertips sharply into Irvine's shoulder, causing him to yelp in pain.

"Open your eyes and look at me!" Seifer whispered harshly. Irvine knew he had no choice but to comply, so he opened his eyes and slowly turned so he could see Seifer.

Seifer was hovering above him completely naked with an evil glint in his eyes and a large grin on his face. Irvine's eyes trailed down the older man's muscular form until they caught sight of his tremendous erection.

Oh god, there is no way that will fit inside me without tearing... Irvine thought miserably, closing his eyes once again, no longer wanting to see what Seifer had in store for him...

Seifer chuckled when he saw Irvine's reaction and used the hand he had placed on Irvine's shoulder to force the much smaller man onto his stomach.

Irvine cried and buried his face into his pillow as Seifer pulled his hips up off the bed to allow easier access. He felt the head to Seifer's erection press against his entrance while Seifer's hands cruelly squeezed and pinched his firm ass.

"No... " Irvine whispered weakly, but all protest died in his throat when Seifer pushed in with one quick thrust, sheathing himself to the hilt in Irvine's virgin ass. Irvine bit his lip to refrain from screaming as his hole was viciously ripped open and blood ran down his thigh.

Seifer gave a satisfied grunt at the tight warmth wrapped around his pulsating cock. He pulled out so that only the head remained inside the writhing beauty below hism before slamming into him as hard as he could.

Irvine let out a strangled cry as Seifer began slamming into him harder and faster, ripping his abused hole even more. The young brunette tried to block out the hands that were currently pinching his sore nipples and the much too large cock that was impaling him too hard and too fast.

He pictured Zell's soft blue eyes, the way that his now shoulder-length blonde hair fell in his face, and how the few blue dreadlocks complemented his eyes... the way his tattoo made him look even more masculine... he had been saving himself for Zell, even if the likelihood of Zell ever wanting to do this with him was probably nil.

Irvine was snapped back to reality when he heard a throaty groan and he knew Seifer was about to cum.

No! I belong to Zell, even if he doesn't know it. I won't allow anyone else to claim me! The voice in Irvine's head screamed.

"No!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, using all of his reserved strength to push the disgusting man off and out of him, and onto the floor. He saw Seifer's eyes darken and a dangerous look spread across his face. Irvine knew at that moment that he was dead. Seifer would never forgive him for interrupting his pleasure when it was at its peak. He would be shown no mercy.

Zell bolted upright in bed, torn from his favorite wet dream-the one where his beautiful friend Irvine went down on him and sucked him dry-by an excruciating scream of pain from said friend's dorm room. He was worried the cowboy may have hurt himself and stood to check on him, but stopped after taking two steps towards to door when he heard another muffled voice say something to his precious Irvine.

He's not alone? Zell asked himself, moving so his ear could be pressed against the only wall separating him from hi beloved. He heard the muffled voice again only this time could both tell that the voice came from a male and what the man was saying.

"Bitch!" The voice seemed angry. Next Zell heard the sickening thud of flesh connecting with flesh repeatedly. He then heard a whimpering noise that he could only guess had come from Irvine.

Zell was frozen in place. The love of his life was in the next room having god-knows-what done to him and Zell couldn't seem to make his body move!

What's going on? What's happening? Zell asked himself desperately.

"Suck it!" The voice from the other room ordered. The voice was clearer now, and it was obvious to Zell who was in there with Irvine.

Seifer's raping Irvine! Zell's heart yelled loudly making bile rise up in his throat.

No... his brain countered. Irvine's strong. He's not some defenseless child. It's foolish to think that he needs anyone else to protect him.

But... what if... Zell tried to find a reason, any at all would do, but he couldn't see how Irvine could possibly be forced into anything against his will. Zell could feel his heart shatter into pieces at the thought of the man he loved in a relationship with the man the hated.

He had never thought Irvine could possibly be gay, judging by the way he was always surrounded by a group of swooning girls and how much he seemed to like it. But now he knew different, a fact tat would have been comforting if not for the soft sucking noises and groans emanating from the next room.

Of course he'd choose Seifer over you, the self-loathing part of him stated, you are a lot smaller than Seifer, probably in more ways than one, and not to mention you're probably much less experienced. Why would Irvine Kinneas possibly want a guy who's only done it a few times, when he can have better, more experienced lovers like Seifer?

Seifer yelled out at what Zell suspected to be his very satisfying climax inside Irvine's sweet mouth. Zell slumped onto the floor close to tears, hugging himself tightly.

"I'll be back for more tomorrow night, I expect you to be nicer then." He heard Seifer say to his love, then a few minutes later he heard the door to Irvine's room open then close and he heard Seifer's footsteps echo through the hall.

What did he mean... 'be nicer'?

Zell didn't have time to consider that any further when he heard a muffled sobbing coming form Irvine's room.

Something's wrong! His brain told him, causing him to jump up and run out his door and to that of his best friend. He didn't' bother to knock, but instead just turned the knob and stepped in.

.....

The sight before him made him sick to his stomach. Irvine's silken white sheets were stained with large amounts of blood, and the man himself was lying collapsed on the floor in a pool of blood coughing up the sticky white semen. Zell wanted to be able to assess the damage more carefully but Irvine hid behind the wall of his long hair. Zell soon realized he was standing in the doorway with the door wide open so anyone who walked past could see the pathetic mess tat was Irvine. He closed the door quickly and moved towards the taller but seemingly more fragile man.

"Seifer... " Irvine whispered between coughing, his voice sounding weak and broken. Zell froze.

"Please... leave me alone... "

"Irvine, it's me, Zell." He answered back gently and carefully, not wanting to scare him.

"Zell?" Irvine responded cautiously, lifting his head slightly to see the man standing less than three feet away from him.

"Yeah, it's me," Zell whispered kneeling in front of the older man. "Don't worry, Seifer's gone I won't let him hurt you again." And he meant it. Seifer wouldn't be able to lay another finger on

Irvine while he was still living and breathing.

"Really?" Irvine sounded different from what Zell was used to. He sounded weak and delicate. He lifted his face fully, revealing to Zell his black eye, bloody swollen lips, bruised cheeks, and tearing eyes.

"Oh gods, Irvine! What'd he do to you?" The shock and anger in his voice would have been apparent to all but the deaf. Irvine's whole body shook with a fierce sob and he threw himself onto Zell, wrapping his arms around his neck and crying into the soft material of Zell's pajama top. Zell was shocked. He had always dreamed of Irvine clinging to him, but none of those times had he just been raped and beaten. When his brain started functioning properly again, he carefully wrapped his arms around the slim man and stroked his bare back softly, trying to lend comfort.

Minutes passed with them sitting there like that, Irvine's body shaking as he cried into Zell's shoulder and Zell holding him like he was a porcelain doll, gently stroking his back. When the tears finally stopped, they were both reluctant to break away from the embrace, but at spotting the blood trickling down Irvine's thigh, Zell knew he couldn't let him remain like that. He slipped one arm down under Irvine's knees while keeping the other at his back and lifted the still shaking brunette, walking towards his en-suite bathroom.

"Mmmm... Zell, where we goin'?" Irvine whispered, nuzzling Zell's neck, causing Zell to breathe faster.

Oh... my... GOD! I have Irvine naked in my arms and he's nuzzling my neck! I can die happy! He just about came in his pants at the thought.

"The bathroom. We need to get you cleaned up." Zell's voice came out sounding much more calm and collected than he was feeling. He reached the bathroom and set Irvine gently into the empty tub, frowning when Irvine winced as his ass touched the hard surface. Zell realized now what the blood on the bed and his thighs had been from.

Damn you, Seifer! Not only did you take what I consider to be mine, you took him forcefully and without preparation! I'll kill you for hurting Irvine!

Zell couldn't keep the scowl from his face as he turned on the water making sure it wasn't too hot for Irvine's sore skin, but not too cold either.

"Zell... " Zell looked at Irvine when he heard his name. "Are you mad?" Irvine sounded puzzled and scared. Zell was shocked at his question.

Does he think I'm mad at him ?

"About what?" he asked, truly confused.

"Me waking you up, then causing trouble for you with this mess... " Irvine's voice faltered and he buried his face in his hands.

"Irvine," Zell whispered, lifting the cowboy's chin so he was looking directly into those sad violet pools, trying to get Irvine to see the feeling in his eyes. Irvine seemed confused when Zell didn't finish his statement. Zell's eyes left Irvine's and traveled down the beautiful abused face and rested on the plump red lips.

Well, I know of one way to make him understand, Zell thought, leaning into the abused face of his love to press his lips oh so lightly onto those of the man in the tub. When he pulled back, his eyes went straight back to the violet ones, which were filled with shock.

"Zell... ?"

"Irvine, you are so dumb sometimes," Zell muttered affectionately. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" He pressed his forehead to that of the other man and whispered almost inaudibly, "I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night to care for you... I love you."

The look on Irvine's face could only be described as complete and total shock. Zell expected that any minute a scared look would cross his love's face and he'd pull away quickly. He would never have dreamed that Irvine would tilt his face so that their lips touched once more.

"I love you too," Irvine breathed.

"Bitch!" Seifer growled angrily at the huddled form of Irvine Kinneas where he lay on his bed. Seifer moved quickly towards the young cowboy, pulling him to his feet harshly by his arm. With his free hand Seifer punched Irvine hard, his fist connecting with the left eye of the younger boy. He pulled his arm back again, this time to hit him in the lip, the cheek, the stomach, and finally, the groin.

The last blow sent Irvine whimpering to the floor. Tears blurred his vision as the pain went beyond his limits of endurance. Seifer reached down and pulled Irvine up until his pulsing erection was only inches away from the bloody mouth of the broken cowboy.

"Suck it!" Seifer commanded, pushing Irvine's mouth closer to where he needed release. Irvine was scared, he was beyond that, he was terrified!

No! I don't wanna do this! The voice in his head screamed. But when he felt the tip of Seifer's sickening cock rub against his closed lips, he opened them immediately; knowing refusal would only lead to more pain. Besides, he figured Seifer would leave once he came... he hoped...

He had no experience to go by, he had never given, nor received head before, in fact, that so-called kiss with Seifer was his first as well, but he tried his best. Licking tentatively at the slit and sucking the rest like a lollipop, he knew he was doing it right when Seifer groaned and thrust further into his mouth, causing his to gag for a short while before he was able to force his throat to relax.

After a few minutes of this, Seifer buried his hands in Irvine's long hair, pulling painfully and yelling as he came deep inside Irvine's mouth. Irvine knew Seifer wanted him to swallow down every last drop of that disgusting sticky essence, so he did. He had no desire to anger Seifer further and make his stay any longer in order to punish him.

Seifer lifted Irvine's chin to make sure he hadn't missed any and was satisfied with what he saw. Irvine had tears pouring down his severely bruised cheeks and his bloody and swollen lips had a small bit of cum trailing down to his chin. Seifer bent down and licked around Irvine's lips, cleaning off the little bit of his essence that remained before once again forcing his tongue into the smaller man's mouth. He pulled back, stood tall over the cowering cowboy, and licked his lips.

"I'll be back for more tomorrow night. I'll expect you to be nicer then," Seifer said, pushing Irvine onto the floor harshly. Irvine watched as Seifer leisurely pulled his clothes back on, holding back the loud sobs and bile in his throat.

Seifer sent one more satisfied grin Irvine's way before walking right out the door, leaving him to spent the rest of the night crying and trying to rid himself of the dirty feelings all over his body.

As soon and the door was closed and he heard Seifer's steps echoing away, he began to sob loudly.

"Zell... it hurts... so much... " he whispered quietly to himself between sobs. He heard someone running in the direction of his bedroom door, but before he could look up to see who had just opened the door to his room, he was hunched over puking up the sickening whiteness he had forced himself to swallow.

He heard the door close and the person took two steps toward him.

"Seifer... " the footsteps stopped at Irvine's broken voice, "Please... leave me alone... "

"Irvine, it's me, Zell," the man in front of him answered softly. Irvine couldn't believe that Zell would actually be there. When he looked up he knew he had to be imagining the man's presence.

"Zell?" Irvine asked cautiously, lifting his head just enough to be able to see Zell standing in front of him with a look of anger and worry on his face.

"Yeah, it's me,' the illusion of Zell whispered, kneeling in front of the shaky Irvine. "Don't worry, Seifer's gone. I won't let him hurt you

again."Really? Will he really protect me? He has to be an illusion; the real Zell would never make a promise like that... it sounded like a lover's promise and Zell would never want to be my lover...

"Really?" Irvine asked, sounding so desperately needy he thought Zell must be disgusted by how weak he was. Irvine lifted his face to Zell and heard him gasp when he saw his beaten face.

"Oh gods, Irvine! What'd he do to you?" Irvine was frightened by the anger in that voice. He felt like he had somehow failed Zell by letting this happen.

Irvine sobbed and threw himself onto Zell, wrapping his arms around his neck and crying into his shirt. Irvine sat there crying, not minding that Zell wasn't hugging him back, he just liked being this close to the man even if it was and illusion...

Wait! He thought, you can't hug illusions... so... Zell is really here! Maybe he does...

Irvine was snapped out of his reverie as two strong arms wrapped carefully around him. Almost... possessively... One of Zell's hands began softly stroking his back in a soothing manner.

They stayed like this for minutes, but to Irvine it felt like centuries, him clinging to Zell and Zell softly caressing his back. Irvine's sobs finally became dry shudders, and still he clung to Zell. He may never get another chance like this, so he wasn't letting go so easily.

Without warning, Zell's hand stopped its comforting travel and instead moved to behind Irvine's knees while the other was behind his back. Zell stood, holding Irvine who still had his face on Zell's shoulder, and started walking.

"Mmmm... Zell, where we goin'?" Irvine murmured, nuzzling Zell's neck sweetly. Irvine heard Zell's breath quicken, but in his current state was unable to put two and two together.

"The bathroom. We need to get you cleaned up." Irvine's half-closed eyes snapped wide open.

I'm naked in Zell's arms and he's planning on helping me clean up... and most of the places that need cleaning are... private...

Irvine was then placed gently into the cold and empty tub, but no matter how softly he was put down, he couldn't help but wince at his sore bottom.

Irvine watched as Zell scowled at him, then reached to turn on the water to just the right temperature.

Why is he scowling at me? Is he mad? He was probably sleeping soundly, having nice dreams, but then I woke him up and made all this trouble for him. He's probably only doing this because he feels sorry for me. Zell probably hates me right now... Irvine felt tears forming behind his eyes again and spilling onto his cheeks.

"Zell... " Irvine whispered softly. Zell looked back at him. "Are you mad?" Zell looked puzzled.

"About what?"

"Me waking you up, then causing trouble for you with this mess... " Irvine's voice failed him and he covered his face with his hands.

"Irvine... " Zell whispered, lifting Irvine's chin so Irvine was forced to look into his aqua eyes. Irvine saw something deep inside Zell's eyes, but couldn't tell what it was. Zell's eyes left his and traveled down his face till they rested on his lips.

He's not gonna... Irvine's brain stopped functioning as Zell pressed his lips softly onto his own. Zell pulled back and looked back into Irvine's eyes.

"Zell... ?" Irvine didn't understand. He had never thought Zell could possibly like his as anything more than a friend, especially after what had just happened.

"Irvine, you are so dumb sometimes," Zell whispered affectionately. " Do I have to spell it out for you?" Zell placed his forehead to the shocked cowboy's and whispered almost inaudibly: " I don't mind waking up in the middle of the night to care for you... I love you." Irvine was shocked, but he didn't have to think before responding quickly and placing a small kiss on Zell's lips.

"I love you too," he breathed.

They both stared at each other in an equal state of shock, never thinking that their feelings could have been mutual.

This has to be a dream! Irvine thought to himself. Zell loves... me? But why?

Irvine returns my love? Zell wondered. I never would have thought... what do I do now?

"Umm...Zell?"

"Huh?" Zell was ripped from his thoughts on what to do next by a very worried looking Irvine.

"The water's overflowing."

"What? Oh shit!" Zell quickly reached and turned off the water, feeling like a fool for forgetting what his real purpose was. While he was busy fretting over the water that had spilled down onto the floor and his pajamas, Irvine smiled and covered his mouth with his hand to suppress a fit of giggles.

Zell noticed the smile on his friend's face and scowled at him.

"What's so funny?" Zell asked with mock annoyance. In reply, Irvine let the giggles come forth, bouncing off the walls of the tiny bathroom. "Oh be quiet!" Irvine looked up at him with a devilish look in his eyes.

"What if I don't wanna?" Irvine batted his long girlish lashes at Zell.

"Irvine, ya big flirt, then I might have to help you." Zell leaned closer to the smiling brunette, leaving about an inch between their faces.

"And how would you do that ?" Irvine asked, seductively wrapping his arms around Zell's neck, twining his fingers in the blonde's hair. Zell smiled and closed the inch between their partly open mouths, pressing his lightly to Irvine's.

Zell slid his tongue along Irvine's lower lip, cautiously asking for permission to enter. Irvine squeezed his eyes shut even tighter and slowly opened his mouth to Zell, still frightened by the vicious was in which his first kiss had been stolen.

Irvine had almost expected it to be just like the demanding kiss Seifer had given him, but Zell was determined to make this soft and sweet, always aware of his love's unstable condition. At the beginning of the kiss Irvine was stiff (no, not like that!) and uninvolved but the soft way Zell's tongue caressed every inch of his mouth, lingering shortly on Irvine's own tongue finally succeeded in coaxing his tongue into play.

Irvine moaned against Zell's mouth, finally relaxing fully against him. Irvine's arms slid down to Zell's waist, and then up under his shirt pulling it up over his head and throwing it onto the floor next to where Zell was kneeling.

Zell broke off their kiss so as to allow them both a chance to breathe and looked at Irvine questioningly.

"Irvine... ?"

"Hmmmm... ." Was his only response as the brunette nuzzled at Zell's neck, the moved down to place soft kisses on his chest.

"I don't think this is a good idea... " Zell murmured. But when a hurt-looking Irvine looked up at him, he quickly added, "I mean, after the thing with Seifer... I think it'd be best if you just washed up and then get some sleep... and we save this for a time when... you won't be so... so... sore... "

Irvine's eyes darkened, and he nodded his consent to Zell's proposition. Zell reached over to where Irvine's purple loofa was hanging and poured a small amount of the raspberry body wash that was sitting on the side of the tub onto it. Then he ran it along Irvine's poor abused chest, being extra careful around the few scattered bite marks.

He carefully washed the dried blood from one of his love's harshly bitten nipples and felt anger boil up at the thought of someone else marking Irvine, but his pushed that thought away, forcing himself to give the saddened cowboy a confident smile which Irvine returned weakly.

Zell continued to wash Irvine's beautiful slim body, trying to keep himself from tears and to maintain a smile as he encountered Irvine's bruised crotch and bloody hole. He finished with washing Irvine's body, then when he was about to drain the tub Irvine stopped him.

"You're not done yet," he said, placing a bottle of strawberry shampoo into Zell's right hand.

He wants me to wash his hair! Does he realize how many of my dreams involve that, and how erotic the idea is to me?

"Try not the get it too tangled or else it'll hurt when I brush it," Irvine added, sliding down so his head and hair was completely submerged in water. Zell gulped at the oh so sexy scene laid out before him; Irvine was completely naked and submerged in warm water with his hair floating out all around his face. Zell finally felt that his pajama pants were much too tight and had to take a few minutes to steady his breathing and calm himself enough that he wouldn't jump the lovely vision before him.

Irvine sat up and turned so his back was to Zell and tipped his head back. Zell poured a large amount of shampoo into his palm, then tentatively reached his hands out and wound his fingers into Irvine's thick hair that reached down to his sweet little ass, working it into a rich lather.

Moving his hands from the very tips up to massage his head (god! Not that one you pervs!), causing Irvine to lean back into his hands and moan with pleasure. After all of Irvine's hair was lathered up, Zell gently helped Irvine slide down so he was once again submerged. Then Zell rinsed it out, pulled the plug from the drain and watched briefly as the water ran down the drain, then stood and reached for the towel, grabbing it from the hook it was on and pulled Irvine to his feet.

Irvine turned away, blushing cutely when Zell started to dry him off; being ever so careful not to tangle his long hair or press too hard anywhere that Irvine might be sore.

Kawaii! Something inside Zell's head shouted, at the blushing beauty before him.

When the brown-haired bishonen was finally pretty much dry, Zell tied the towel around Irvine's slim hips and caught his lips in another soft kiss, then led him back out into the main room. He led his love over to a nearby couch and went to clean up the signs of Irvine's rape that still remained.

Irvine sat shakily as Zell went to his bed and removed the bloody silken sheets, wadding them up and setting them in a corner of the room. He found a clean set of sheets in a nearby closet and used them to remake the bed, then used his own shirt to wipe up the blood and semen on the floor before throwing it in the corner with the sheets. He looked over his work and was satisfied that there was no more blood, so he walked to Irvine and pulled him to his feet.

Zell led the shaken man over to his bed and had him sit while he pulled a brush off the small nightstand and proceeded to brush Irvine's hair gently. Neither of them spoke, but that was fine. They were content to just be near one another. Not to mention Zell was relishing the feel of the silken strands between and beneath his fingers. When the golden-brown mass was most definitely tangle-free, Zell parted it into three equal sections before braiding it with special care so as not to disappoint his would-be-lover and when the end of the braid reached the edge of the towel, Zell used the hair tie wrapped around the handle of the brush to hold the end together.

"Mmm... thank you... " Irvine whispered sleepily with half-closed eyes. Zell noticed Irvine was about to fall asleep, so he stood to ho back to his own room, but a strong grasped his wrist, pulling him to sit back on the bed and he soon found himself looking back into Irvine's violet eyes. "Stay with me... "

It was a request and a command at the same time, and the soft pleading tone in which Irvine said it made Zell unable to deny him this.

"Alright," Zell answered, knowing he could never say no to those pleading purple eyes. Irvine smiled and pulled the towel from his waist, dropping it to the floor. Zell frowned at this.

Damn, is he trying to make me jump him? From the way he's acting, you'd never suspect he had just been raped! But then again, maybe he thinks that being with me will make the memories fade quicker... whatever his reason, I'm not gonna take the chance of possibly hurting him...

I want him... I want him to claim me and wipe away all traces of Seifer's forced painful one. I bet he tastes a hundred times better than Seifer, and he's probably gentler too...

Zell shifted so he was lying facing his cowboy and Irvine promptly snuggled close up to Zell's strong chest. The feel of Irvine's bare chest against his made him hard, but he tried hard and fought it off.

"I love you, Irvine," he whispered to the half-asleep man in his arms.

"Mmm, love you too... " Irvine's voice was weak and slurred with sleep, and seconds later Irvine's steady soft breathing informed Zell that he was, most definitely, asleep. Zell pulled the sleeping man closer and fell asleep like he'd always wanted to: with Irvine in his arms cuddling to him and sweetly pressing his face into Zell's more muscular chest.

Zell awoke first the next morning to find Irvine still cuddling up to him, clinging like his life depended on it. Even with the cuts and bruises, Irvine's face looked so beautiful and sweet. The look on his face was one of relaxed, cheerful, contentment. His lips were open just a little, and

Zell couldn't resist leaning in for a kiss.

Zell slipped his tongue softly between those sweet inviting lips. Irvine opened his mouth more to accommodate the probing tongue and moved his own to join in the game. Zell jumped when the tip of Irvine's tongue ran playfully along the underside of his, then pulled back quickly. He hadn't meant to wake him; he had wanted to let him sleep a little longer. Still, he figured there might be some perks to him being awake...

Looking down into those half-open violet depths, he felt himself falling even deeper in love with the man in his arms.

"Ohayo!" Irvine said softly and with a small smile.

" Good morning, baby," Zell responded, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "How do you feel?"

"My butt hurts." He had meant it as a joke, but from the look on Zell's face he obviously didn't find it amusing, because he scowled and his eyes darkened. "I was just kidding! OK? It was a joke. I feel fine. It barely hurts at all."

"Why don't I believe that?" Zell asked sharply.

"Ittai! Ittai!" Irvine yelled as Zell slipped one finger down to lightly touch the muscled ring of Irvine's entrance. Zell pulled his hand away quickly when he heard his love's startled cry, then leaned in to capture his lips in apology.

"Doesn't hurt, huh?" the blonde asked softly. Irvine pouted and snuggled closer.

"OK, OK, so it still hurts a little... "

"Only a little?" Irvine smiled and nodded as the playful gleam returned to Zell's eyes. "Hmmm, so you think you'll be all better by tomorrow? 'Cause as soon as you're better, I wanna show you how nice it can be... "

Irvine didn't have to ask what 'it' Zell was talking about.

"Actually... " Irvine started, "I think I'll be better tonight... "

Zell grinned, happy to see Irvine still wanted to be with him even after what had happened the night before.

"Well I guess we'll see then."

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