Still don't belong to me, still written for Race Ulfson.

Despite his protestations, Selphie had insisted on throwing him an eighteenth birthday party. She knew he disliked parties, knew he hated the attention and crowds and yet, the party in the Quad was thundering on. He didn't begrudge them a celebration, he just didn't want to be the centre of attention. So he'd stayed for all of half an hour, drunk a few glasses of whiskey with various friends and snuck quietly back to his room.

Closing the door behind him, he headed for the bedroom, pulling off his shirt. He'd drunk enough to get a faint buzz, not enough to warrant an Esuana spell, just enough to make him comfortably sleepy.

He didn't know that two people had seen him sneak away, or that Selphie had asked Seifer to follow him.

Seifer didn't bother to knock on the door. He rarely ever waited for the brunette to answer, usually sneaking in and waiting for his commander to collect his gunblade in readiness for one of their training sessions. Using Squall's code and heading in silently, leaning against the door as soon as it closed with a quiet click.

Tossing the shirt he'd stripped off onto a chair in his bedroom, Squall headed back to the kitchen for one last drink before he turned in for the night and paused when he found Seifer leaning against the door. "Almasy."

"Right in one. Love the James Bond act, Leonhart. And at your own party, too." Seifer tutted and turned a smirk on the smaller man.

"I told her I didn't want a party." Squall shrugged nonchalantly and leant in the doorway.

"Well, yeah, but you didn't even stick around to let me give you a birthday gift." He pushed away from the door and crossed to Squall slowly. He kept his pace measured, more of a stroll than anything else, devouring the brunette with his eyes. Seifer had been watching him at the party, knew he'd be a little tipsy at least, drinking too much on an empty stomach was asking for trouble.

"You could have waited until tomorrow."

Standing close to his commanding officer, Seifer smiled down at him. He owed Squall a lot, his home, his job... Despite all the flak the smaller man had caught from the press, and the governments of Galbadia and even Esthar, Squall had stood by him. Seifer had passed his SeeD exams and now was an active member, though he had yet to convince the press that his aims were purely professional. He didn't particularly care, he'd proved himself to Squall and the others and they were the ones who really mattered.

Especially Squall.

"I wanted to do it today. You're only eighteen once, you think I wanna miss that?" He supposed being so close to Squall was dangerous with how the quiet commander made him feel, but he couldn't resist. He was in love with the stoic little brunette and he longed to tell Squall how he felt.

"I don't feel like I'm eighteen." Squall straightened and looked up at him, a soft smile on his lips.

"Yeah?" Seifer fingered the neatly wrapped gift hidden in his jacket, it felt as though it were burning a hole in his pocket. "What do you feel like, then?"

"...Somewhere around fifty." The commander's position was not exactly what he'd had in mind when he'd passed his exams. He enjoyed being in the field, he liked the opportunity to prove himself with his gunblade and guardians and drawn magic. The paperwork simply made him feel tired, and kept him busy from dawn until dusk.

"I promise you don't look it." Seifer replied, shifting his weight a little nervously. Deep down he knew Squall would adore the gift he'd found but niggling self doubt ate away at him. But then, that was how Squall always made him feel.

"You haven't seen me before my first coffee." He smiled, small and pretty, and Seifer half wondered if Squall knew how that smile turned his knees to the consistency of a Blobra. "Seifer, I'm tired, can we just get this over with?"

"Over with?"

Squall shrugged, looking faintly uncomfortable. "The gift. I don't like taking things from my friends." And only a year ago, Squall would not have been able to say that word and keep a straight face. How quickly some things could change, how quickly people could change still amazed him. He'd been afraid of loosing them after the war when Rinoa had walked out and left him but they'd stood by him.

They hadn't left him yet. And...he supposed he could deal with it if they had to. He was stronger now, and they would remain friends even if they were apart.

"Aw, come on, Leonhart." Seifer frowned. "I don't give many gifts. Let me see how it feels for once." He took the rectangular box from his pocket and presented it to Squall somewhat shyly. He felt silly now, offering the gift, as though it wasn't enough. Nothing would ever be enough.

"If this is jewellery, I'm going to worry about you." Squall teased gently.

"That's later." Seifer snorted. "After you ask me to marry you."

Squall unwrapped the silver paper from the box slowly and opened the velvet case. Inside, nestled safely on a bed of black satin he found a perfect representation of the Lion Heart gunblade in sterling silver. It was no longer than five inches from tip to hilt, the blade lightly sharpened. He'd never seen something so perfect, so beautiful.

"Seifer..."

A blush stole onto Seifer's cheeks unbidden. He shifted nervously, one hand ruffling the back of his hair anxiously. "You needed something for your desk. I didn't think you'd appreciate all the paper cuts that come with a desk job."

His voice faltering for a moment, Squall gazed at his friend in disbelief. Despite his instantaneous adoration for the object he closed the box and offered it back to Seifer. "Thank you... but this is too much, I can't accept this."

Shaking his head almost immediately, Seifer pushed the box back to Squall's chest. "You have to, I spent months finding the right thing. It's the only thing I could think of that would be..." He shrugged, ducking his head bashfully. "I dunno, worthy of you."

"If you're sure." Squall snuck one last look inside the box and smiled at the taller man again. "It's perfect. Thank you."

Lifting his jade green gaze to meet Squall's eyes, Seifer smiled weakly in return. His heart beat a heavy rhythm against his ribs. "You're perfect." He spoke softly, so painfully aware of Squall's beauty. He wanted to say so much more, but the words died on his lips, his fear getting the better of him. If he hadn't gotten so close to the brunette in the past months, this would have been easier – he would have had less to loose, but now... it was too late.

"What?" Squall's mouth went dry at the words, almost believing he'd misheard.

"I said..." Licking his lips, Seifer prayed that Squall couldn't hear the steady thunder of his heart against his ribs. He kept his voice low, the embarrassment still making his cheeks burn brightly. "You're perfect. You are, Squall. So perfect... I've wanted to tell you so many times..." his voice trailed off slowly, and he glared down at the floor, chiding himself for being such an idiot.

Never, in all the years they had shared had Squall seen Seifer look so uncomfortable. Even as a child when Edea had scolded him he had always kept his head held high with a pride beyond his years. Resting a hand on Seifer's chest, Squall brushed a shy kiss over the taller man's lips.

Shocked at the sudden intimacy, Seifer rested a hand on Squall's shoulder to steady himself, gazing at his commander in disbelief.

Dropping his head to hide the blush that bled into his pale cheeks, Squall almost kicked himself. Seifer must have had more to drink than he had, that was the only explanation for the sudden announcement. He'd only regret it in the morning.

A hand cupped his chin and tipped his head up slowly, forcing him to look at the handsome face, the old scar.

'I love his eyes.' Squall thought as he gazed into the green pools of Seifer's irises.

"Look at me." Seifer held his chin fast, preventing him from turning away again. He stroked his thumb over the smooth skin of Squall's chin, hardly believing the smaller man even had to shave.

"What?"

"Do you... do you ever think of me, Squall? Ever?"

Seifer had never looked so needy, so endearing. Lying to the blonde was a physical impossibility. It would be like lying to Zell's mother, or his father, he just couldn't bring himself to do it, no matter how hard he tried. So, he avoided the question. "In what way?"

"You know." Seifer shrugged lightly, looking uncomfortable. "That way."

Squall knew any attempt at speaking would only result in further embarrassment and he simply nodded his reply slowly.

"You're all I think about."

Unable to resist any longer, Squall tightened the hand in Seifer's shirt and leant in to kiss him again. A gentle, shy kiss. He lingered this time, making a soft yearning noise as Seifer slid his arms around his waist. Inexperience or clumsiness brought on by their combined apprehension made their noses and knees bump, and it took a moment to find a position they were both comfortable with.

When they kissed for the third time, it was slow and tentative, and so very heartfelt. They'd both been waiting for the tender contact for so very, very long, and now it was happening neither of them wanted to rush. Seifer tangled his fingers in Squall's hair, as though he were afraid Squall would try to stop him.

"Happy birthday, Squall." Seifer husked, barely pulling away from the kiss.

"Thank you. Are you going back to the party or..." Squall glanced in the direction of his bed. "Or not?"

Seifer hardly dared breathe, hardly dared believe that Squall was offering what he seemed to be offering. "You don't mind if I stay?"

"Don't leave. Please?"

They shared another kiss. "You're the only reason I was there at all." Seifer chuckled a little, painfully self conscious even after their small intimacies. "Hell, you made me forget everything I wanted to say."

"What do you want Seifer? Tell me the truth."

Strong, tanned fingers brushed over the pale skin of Squall's cheek. He hadn't let go of Squall yet and he wasn't planning to, too afraid of never being able to hold him again. "I wanted to tell you how much it means to me that you asked me to come back. I never thought you would, not in a million years."

"It wasn't the same without you here." Squall nuzzled against the hand that cupped his cheek. "I needed you." Whether it had been as a friend, a rival, or a training partner, Squall wasn't sure. But he had needed Seifer, he'd wanted to be around him even if his then secret lust for the elder man

How Seifer ached just watching Squall. How he longed for him. "I love you." He admitted.

Of all the things he'd suspected Seifer might say, of all the things he'd expected the taller man to say, that was most definitely not one of them. If it had been, Squall would not have found himself staring in disbelief like a rabbit caught in a car's headlights at Seifer. "What?"

"I love you. Loved you all my life. I swore to myself, when you invited me back here, that one day I'd get the nerve to tell you." A small, boyish smile curved Seifer's lips. "And I did."

The silence was heavy between them for a long time and Squall, much to his own disgust, trembled in Seifer's arms at the words, at the conviction behind them. "I can't get you out of my mind but I... I don't know about love yet."

"I'll wait 'til you do."

"Or you could show me."

Seifer's eyes widened in surprise, and his cock twitched eagerly. "Uh... are you serious?"

"I've wanted you for... a long time. Years. Please."

Seifer didn't reply at first, slipping off his jacket and tossing it onto a nearby chair that Squall's blue-violet shirt from earlier in the evening lay rumpled on. "You don't have to ask more than once. I'll stay with you tonight."

In his black dress shirt and neatly pressed pants, Seifer looked like sin embodied. So beautiful, his tanned skin and golden locks were complimented by his clothing and made him look like a devil. The very sight of him made Squall shiver.

Seifer swept Squall with a slow, hungry gaze. The brunette was bare chested, his griever pendant a bright silver flare against his pale skin, his modesty retained by the softest pair of dove grey leather pants. Even as Squall slipped away to set his new prized possession on the desk in the bedroom, Seifer wanted to devour him. "You're so fucking beautiful."

"Whatever."

Stepping closer, Seifer swept the smaller man off his feet, toting him to the bed easily. "You'll learn not to bait me Leonhart."

"I doubt it, I haven't yet." Squall clung to Seifer, starting to consider that the handsome blonde might not have been as drunk as he'd first suspected.

Setting his new lover down onto the bed, Seifer stretched out beside him. Trailing tender fingertips through the chocolate coloured strands of Squall's hair and plying him with soft little kisses, just tasting his lips, Seifer whispered "You're so pretty Squall. What will you let me do?"

"Do you want to..." He paused, hesitating to say 'fuck' because it didn't seem right for their first time. Finally he settled on "Take me?"

Still unable to get enough of those sweet, shy kisses, Seifer lost himself in another. "Have you ever done it before?"

"Just once."

"With who?" Seifer frowned, one hand tightening into a fist at Squall's side.

"Someone I met in Esthar. I fucked him." And it had been fucking then, just a drunken one night stand with one of his father's friends, he'd left before day break, too shy to stay and make small talk. He'd been tall and blonde and beautiful and Squall had used him. He still felt guilty.

"You won't be doing that any more." Seifer said firmly, his distaste at the idea of Squall sleeping with anyone else obvious.

"It was while you were still fishing."

Seifer paused, blinking at his lover in disbelief. "What?"

"I... had heard you were in Balamb. I went to visit my father while I was trying to work out how to ask you to come back... It just made me think of you more." Squall lowered his eyes, ashamed.

"Fuck, Squall." Seifer sat up, pulling away from Squall slowly, shaking his head. "Couldn't you have just lied to me or something?"

"I wouldn't have wanted you to lie to me. Sorry."

"I never imagined you'd say yes to that." Glaring at a photograph hung on the wall, Seifer sighed. He couldn't imagine Squall with another man. A woman maybe, though he'd always harboured suspicions about those pants. The thought that someone else had been with Squall filled him with anger, jealousy.

"Sorry to disappoint you." Squall sounded almost heart broken.

Finally in control again, Seifer turned back to look at Squall. "You didn't. You couldn't. I'm just jealous, I guess."

Dark eyes peered through chocolate coloured bangs to gaze at the older man. "Should I be happy that I made you feel jealous?"

"As long as you tell me you won't do it with anybody besides me from now on."

Squall tossed his hair out of his eyes and reached out, stroking his fingers over Seifer's cheek gently, his silver blue gaze intent on the blonde. "I only ever wanted you like that anyway... He was a mistake."

Seifer closed his eyes briefly, savouring the touch for just a moment before crawling over Squall and pressing against him. "Good. Because I want you. All for me."

"You know we can't tell anyone, don't you?" Squall wrapped his arms around Seifer's neck as the taller man's body covered his own.

Gently, Seifer trailed a finger along the waistband of Squall's pants, dipping below it gently. He longed to see Squall naked, see what he was hiding beneath those leather pants. The need surprised him. "Why?"

"They'll think you passed your SeeD exam because you're fucking me. I don't want them to think that."

He popped the button of Squall's pants and circled his finger around the brunette's navel lazily, dipping down to the soft black silk secreted beneath the leather. "I'll be your secret then."

Squall ghosted a hand to Seifer's fly to ease it down. "I want to feel you. All of you."

"You will." Slowly, feeling awkward and trying very hard not to rush things, Seifer peeled back the dove grey leather. He ducked his head, pressing small, shy kisses to the soft skin of Squall's belly, glancing up to meet Squall's eyes. Nervously, rubbing his cheek low on Squall's abdomen, he asked awkwardly "Do you have anything? You know, for..."

Squall glanced at the bedside table and nodded .

When he eased the black silk down Squall's legs, watching the brunette arch his back, Seifer couldn't help but stare. He'd always half feared that when he was faced with this, the fantasy becoming a reality, that he'd loose his nerve and leave. But it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be, and Squall looked so...perfect. Just like he'd always imagined. Long pale limbs and slim hips, a blush still painfully evident on his cheeks.

His train of thought was disturbed as Squall spoke again. "Stop looking me like that or strip so I can show you how it feels."

"Sorry... can't help it." Seifer rolled to his feet, standing at the end of the bed as he stripped. Unlike the smaller man he had no problem with being looked at, examining Squall's expression as effectively as he could. When Squall moved closer, kissing his belly and brushing his fingers along Seifer's cock, his eyes flickered closed. "Careful. It won't take much."

Squall looked up at him with the most vulnerable of looks in his eyes. He seemed so needy, so hungry for affection. Silently, he pressed the softest of kisses to the tip of Seifer's cock and moved to retrieve a bottle of lubricant.

His cock twitched, and he crawled up the bed on all fours, towards his new lover. Tracing the curve of his ass gently and brushing his lips over the small of Squall's back, he murmured "I want to watch your face."

"Alright." Squall pressed the bottle into Seifer's hand. "Whatever.

Suddenly embarrassed by the situation, even after years of imagining how this would be and how much he wanted it, Seifer smiled. He could barely believe he was really about to have Squall Leonhart, the ice princess, the most beautiful man he'd ever laid eyes on. "Lay on your back for me."

He was practically panting when Squall stretched out on his back, parting his legs. He looked so perfectly wanton, his hair a dark halo around his head as he settled against the pillows. Seifer realised that it was already nothing like he'd imagined this would be. It was much better.

With a slick palm, he stroked the hard curve of Squall's cock just once, admiring the roll of Squall's hips and the shameless moan that spilled from Squall's lips. He couldn't resist sliding his fingers down over his lover's balls, seeking and finding the tight knot of muscle of Squall's opening. "Is this okay?"

"I want this Seifer." Squall nodded, touching Seifer's shoulder reassuringly.

He slid the finger into Squall slowly, lips parted in surprise. It was so... different to what he'd imagined, so hot and tight... "Oh gods, Squall."

Squall let his head fall back onto the pillows, his eyes flickering closed. "You haven't.... You haven't done this before?" Somehow he'd always imagined Seifer would have slept with other men, and suddenly he was regretting rushing into things but it felt so good to have Seifer touching him at long last he didn't want it to stop.

It took a moment for Seifer to respond, rocking the finger into the smaller man's body carefully, amazed by his reactions and the way the body felt around him. He could barely imagine how it would feel around his cock. "No..." He replied absently.

As Squall undulated, driving himself onto the intrusion, Seifer slicked his cock with his free hand, too eager to still the movement. He didn't want Squall to stop reacting so beautifully, to stop writhing. "Hyne, you really want this..."

Squall nodded breathlessly, his bangs falling into his eyes. "Didn't you believe me?"

Pushing at one of Squall's thighs and spread him further open as he guided his cock to the brunette's opening. He paused, the full, flushed tip of his sex resting against the tempting heat of Squall's opening. "I did, but... ready?"

"Slow. Okay?"

The blonde nodded quickly, resting against Squall's toned belly, getting as physically close to him as possible. "I'll be careful. I promise."

Softly, so very softly, Squall whispered "I want you inside me, Seifer." He lifted a leg to hook around his lover's waist, presenting himself.

Gently, Seifer began to ease himself into the tight heat of his lover. He inhaled sharply, teeth creasing his lower lip as he slid through the initial resistance. With a low guttural sound, and a hiss of "Ahh fuck", he glanced at the smaller man. The look of pain on Squall's face was heartbreaking, the soft whimpers as he tried to adjust and force himself to accept the intrusion almost made Seifer pull back. He stilled instead, brushing his lips to his lover's. "Are you okay? Should I stop?"

"Don't stop." The melodious voice sounded pained, but adamant as Squall shook his head. "Not yet."

Flexing his hips, Seifer pushed past the resistance too quickly, sinking completely into the tight heat. He'd never imagined it would be so good, so tight... Burying his face against the curve of Squall's neck, he realised that he had no hope of lasting too long, moaning his lover's name brokenly. He had to do this again, he decided, he couldn't imagine anything ever feeling even half as good as Squall did.

Pulling back gently only to push straight back into Squall, kneading the soft flesh of his ass as he moved, he almost sobbed with pleasure. Every stroke made every single nerve in his body tingle, he felt as taut as a bow string, as fragile as glass as though he could shatter at any given moment. "Squall, I love you. I love you." He groaned, his voice trembling almost as much as the pale body beneath him.

"Gods... Seifer." Squall slid a hand between the tight press of their bodies, stroking himself slowly and using the pleasure to distract himself from the pain that even now began to ebb.

With each slow stroke, Seifer pushed deeper than before, brushing Squall's fingers away from his weeping cock. "Yes... here, let me do that. I want to touch you." And he did, stroking Squall's cock the way he himself liked to be stroked, long slow movements, brushing his thumb over the leaking tip and spreading the drops of precome slowly. "I won't... don't know how long I can last Squall." He admitted, already feeling the familiar tightness and need and pleasure pooling between his legs. "You feel so good..."

"A little longer. Please." Squall rocked into Seifer's hand eagerly, arching and tossing his head. The blue-grey eyes flickered closed, a faint whimper spilling from his lips at every thrust.

He regretted being in such a hurry to fuck the pale brunette now. With Squall so hard and slick in his hand he longed to suck on him, to taste him. He wanted to know how Squall looked when he came. He found a rhythm, thrusting in long, even strokes and stuttering "T...tell me when."

Seifer's cock made him see stars as it filled him over and over. He knew he was close, his shivers growing more violent. "Seifer. Now."

So close he could feel the cold shiver up his spine, so close he could almost taste his release, Seifer bucked into Squall, fucking him harder. He stroked the pale, pretty cock roughly, as fast as he could without hurting his lover. "Gods... come Squall – Come for me, please."

And he did.

Squall bucked up against his lover, a breathless cry of "Seifer" on his lips as his seed spilled over Seifer's fingers, his whole body arching from the bed to press against the lean, tanned body that stretched over him.

Barely a heartbeat later, Seifer came hard, clutching Squall to himself. He was completely still, even as his cock still pulsed deep inside Squall's body.

Finally, he collapsed on the still shuddering brunette and tried to catch his breath, the intensity of his release and his exhaustion suddenly clouding his mind. "Squall..."

"Seifer?" Squall murmured with a breathless chuckle.

"Hold on... I think I'm dead."

"From the way your heart's pounding, that's unlikely. Or is that mine?" The soft voice was even softer now, husky with his release.

"Either or." Seifer kissed Squall's shoulder with a faint smile. "It's the same." Or at least it felt that way to Seifer. Two hearts beating as one, rival's blood running through their veins, fire and ice... They existed for each other, he decided. It felt as though everything in his life had been leading to that precise moment.

"Next time... if you still want more..." The brunette paused to nuzzle his cheek to Seifer's hopefully. Even though it had hurt him, he still wanted more. "Let me get myself ready."

Instantly contrite, Seifer pressed a kiss to the smaller man's lips shyly. "I hurt you... I'm sorry."

"You can make it up to me later. With a blowjob." Squall half joked, though his cock seemed quite fond of the idea.

With a soft laugh, Seifer eased out of Squall gently. "Just give me an hour or two to get my breath back. I tried to be careful, I didn't mean to hurt you." He cupped Squall's cheek in one hot palm, ignoring the brunette's pointed glance to his scar on purpose. "I love you. I meant that."

Before Squall had a chance to respond, Seifer had rolled onto his back, pulling Squall on top of him and wrapping his arms around Squall's waist. When he was sure that he wouldn't be rolled around or tugged again, he peeked a silver-blue eye open to watch the blonde. "I'm falling in love with you."

"Took us long enough, maybe we'll get it right this time."

"Eventually, probably." Squall settled down sleepily, cuddling against Seifer. "In the mean time, who knows?"

A secret smile alighted on Seifer's full lips. He knew. "Yeah, whatever."

"Get some sleep. You can make up for it in the morning."

With a little wiggling that Squall protested sleepily, Seifer managed to pull the blankets over them. Funny, it was supposed to be squall's birthday and he wound up getting the present.

Not that he was complaining.

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