By J. Marie
Warning!! This a lemon yaoi fanfiction starring Seifer Almasy and Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII. It is rated NC-17. Well, onward and forward we go! By the way, I like sour cream. Sour cream makes me happy. Just thought I should share. :)
I left the cottage around 4 am, with most of my stuff with me. There was nothing to do at that hour, so I just walked to the nearest town.
It was a relatively new town, and I had been there before. I arrived around 8 am, and checked into an inn.
I couldn't sleep in the same house as Seifer. I just couldn't.
I was dead tired, and collapsed onto the soft bed, not even bothering to undress before I fell asleep.
I had nightmares. Nightmares of Seifer...
A tall blonde young man walked inside a prison cell, his scarred face a mask of arrogance.
Inside the cell, sleeping, was a smaller brunette boy. A scar similar to the blonde's slashed his face. The handsome blonde stood over the sleeping youth, his arrogance faltering. He kneeled down beside the boy, listening to the brunette's breathing.
"Squall...." he whispered. He reached out a gloved hand and traced the boy's scar. His hands trembled, his arrogance gone. Sadness was etched into the lines of his face.
The boy named Squall's eyes snapped open, gray. The gray swirled like clouds to reveal blue. The blue of fear. He said nothing, but swallowed, staring at his blonde captor.
The blonde snatched his hand away, as if burned. He stood up suddenly, looking away. When he looked back, a haughty smirk was on his face.
"You're a fool, Squall. You should just tell me what SeeD is really all about, and it wouldn't have to be like this," the blonde said arrogantly.
"Whatever, Seifer," was all Squall said before turning his back to the boy named Seifer. He covered his fear as well as the other did his sadness.
Rage crossed across the blonde's face and he was suddenly on top of Squall, holding the smaller boy down. Squall began to cry out, struggling, but Seifer was stronger. Clothing tore, and Squall could hear Seifer's zipper opening. Squall cried out in terror, realizing he was going to be raped.
Seifer pressed his erection against the other's tight opening, threatening to tear the soft flesh....
I woke up screaming.
I looked around blearily, realizing I had been dreaming. Nothing even remotely like that had happened in the desert prison. Seifer never did anything more than electrocute me.
But my ass was still hurting.
I rolled over and realized that I had been sleeping on one of my boot spurs. It had been digging into my ass while I slept. I had to smile at the humor in that. My smile faded soon.
I sighed and got up. It was already 6 pm. I took a shower, and decided to visit the local goth rave club. I forgot it's name, but it had been a large place the last time I was there, playing good music, and the bartenders couldn't care less how old you were.
I decided to dress all out. I got out a tight pair of shiny vinyl black pants, amazing myself by squeezing my ass into them. I got out a silk black shirt, equally as tight. The sleeves were long, but the shirt had laces where it should have seams. The front laced up as well, which I hoped would make me look sexy. I put on a few silver chain belts, and my Griever pendant of course. Black platform boots that laced up to my knees went next, as well as some thigh belts. I topped everything off with black lipstick, red eyeshadow, and black eyeliner and mascara. My face had been powdered to a near white. I put mousse my hair, and decided the chocolate color would be alright. I decided I looked sufficiently gothic, and hooked up a chain from my belt to my wallet, not just for looks, but for security. I made sure I put on my spurs and headed out.
And if you think walking in platform boots with spurs on is easy, you're wrong.
It was 7:30 pm when I got done. Not only is dressing gothic expensive, but time-consuming. I made it to the club by eight. They were playing Siouxsie and the Banshees when I walked in. The girl who started it all, and never knew it.
"Hey, Squall... That you?"
I looked over and saw the tiny female form of one of the girls I used to hang out with. I think we slept together a couple of times, but we were both too drunk to remember much of it.
"None other. What are you doing here, Kasmira?" I asked. I noticed a couple of other girls behind her. A gothic lesbian trio. Well, I don't know if they were lesbians, but still.
"The usual. Drugs, drinks, and dancing. You?" she asked casually, offering me a hit of her blunt. I took her up on the offer and puffed a couple times. One of the girls with her looked bored by my existence, and the other looked like if I wasn't careful, she was going to fuck my brains out in front of everyone.
"Spreading goodwill and peace towards all men, as usual," I shrugged.
"You still a SeeD?"
"For the moment."
"Hey, I was thinking of sending my son there when he's older. The program any good?" asked the girl who looked like she was going to fuck me raw. She didn't look old enough to have a son.
"It's alright. Kinda rough on kids, though. Don't recommend it if you're the clingy mom type," I told her.
"Not really. I kinda wanna get the brat off my hands. He's a pain in the ass. Drives me nuts," she grinned.
"I see. Well, I'm going to do my best to get wasted. I'll see you later, Kas," I nodded to my friend, and disappeared. I didn't want to talk about work or anything else. I didn't want to talk at all.
Now, I bet you think that we sacrifice live chickens and drink blood at a Goth rave club. Well, we don't. In fact, other than the music and clothes, it's the same as any other rave club. Sex, drugs, and gothic rock and roll. This particular club was huge, with two stories, made to look like something out of Bram Stokerís Dracula, with red curtains on stone walls, carved gargoyles, and shit like that.
I got myself a bottle of red wine and made my way up to the second story, where it was not as loud, and a little calmer than the first floor, where the dance floor was. Instead of tables, tons of throw pillows littered the floor. Sheer curtains surrounded the area, and not a few of the people were engaged in sexual activities. I found a quiet corner, and sat down, sipping on my wine, letting my thoughts wander.
They of course, dwelled on Seifer. What he had done to me wasn't really all that bad, in retrospection. It was horrible to an innocent thirteen-year-old, but with seven years under my belts, it really wasn't that bad. And he had stopped himself before it had gotten really bad.
But he was still guilty, and I was still afraid. But I was more afraid of him, and what he could do to me emotionally, not physically. Even back then, I didn't want to have to rely on Seifer's strength and power. I wanted to take care of myself. Because where would I be if Seifer left? What would happen if he left and broke my heart, like Ellone and Rinoa had? It would hurt more.
I wondered about that. Why would it hurt more with him? Because I would love him more? Rinoa had frustrated me most of the time, and my love for her wound up being that of a big brother for a little sister he took care of. Elle was my big sister. But with Seifer it would be different. I knew that.
I was already figuring out that my sexual preference was starting to lean more towards men. That girl who was trying to talk to me earlier had been beautiful. I could have had her. But I didn't want her. Back when we played Selphie's stupid game, the thought that I could wind up with Irvine and Zell had actually been intriguing. So what if I was gay? I wouldn't be the first man, and certainly wouldn't be the last to be that way.
But why was Seifer so different? Why did the thought of being with Seifer send such dread into the pit of my stomach, yet such a thrill through my spine? I wanted him. I did. And not just because he was handsome. But because he was Seifer. He was arrogant, but charming when he wanted to be. He was smart, and had a wicked sense of humor. He laughed when I couldn't. He smiled when I couldn't. He ran to the world with arms wide open, and I ran from it, my arms wrapped around myself. He was fearless, and I was fearful. He was everything that I wasn't.
But he was like me in many ways. We both had a sharp, black humor. We liked the same sort of movies. We both liked picking on Zell. We were both lonely. We both wanted to be the best. We both had our pride. And we both had our romantic dreams....
But Seifer terrified me. I couldn't let my heart get broken. Not by him. I wouldn't be able to recover. I would just die this time. He was everything. I would just head back to the Garden tomorrow, and never see him again. It would be so much easier. No broken hearts. No letting anyone in too close. He would get over it, and find someone nice to be with. And I would have myself, and that would be fine.
My train of thought was interrupted by two men. I looked up, realizing they were speaking to me. One was tall and thin. He looked like what Irvine would look, if Irvine had black hair and went goth, complete with black duster. The other was short, shorter than Zell even. He looked like one of those stereotypical goth gay boys, like a goth Boy George. Black feather boa and everything.
"Hey, pretty pretty. What's a sexy thing like you doing over here by yourself?" the tall one asked me, his smile predatory. The short one was eying me lasciviously. I was starting to become interested in men, true, but these guys looked way too sleazy for me. They were nice-looking, but something about them put me off.
"Getting drunk, what's it look like?" I shrugged. The tall one took it upon himself to sit next to me, partially on my pillow. The smaller one sat in front of me, holding a bottle of some sort of liquor.
"How convenient. We came here for the same reason," the tall one purred. They had yet to introduce themselves. I figured that they had no interest in my name. They just wanted to fuck me.
"Right..." I sighed. They weren't going away, so I might as well make the best of it.
"That's a nice bottle of wine there. Care to share?" the tall one asked. I snorted.
"Fine, whatever," I said, handing him the bottle, I wanted them to go away, but I didn't feel like moving. I would just bum a few drinks off of them, and then I'd leave.
He took my bottle, making sure to pet my fingers as he took them. I did my best not to roll my eyes, not wanting to piss them off before I got more liquor. He took a swig of it and then grinned at me. The small one was disturbingly silent.
"Nice... As sweet as you are, I'm sure," the tall one said.
"Well, why don't we drink first, and discuss what I taste like later," I suggested. The small one smirked.
"Of course..." the tall one said, taking another sip of my bottle before passing it to his little friend, who passed me their bottle of rum. I looked at the label, noting that this was some expensive shit. The best.
"Drink up... Pass it to me when you're done," the tall one said, while the short one watched me while he sipped at my own bottle. The little one was even quieter than me.
I shrugged and took a sip, wondering what was up with these guys. It was really good, and I found myself downing quite a few more sips, until a fourth of the bottle was gone. I grinned sheepishly, and handed it over to the tall goth guy next to me. He was smiling wide, and took the bottle gently, but didn't drink any of it. That seemed odd.
And then the world began to spin. I became super woozy, and fell back on the pillows, looking up at the blurred lights. The hell?
"Such a pretty pretty. I love pretty pretties... So nice..." I heard the tall one say. I couldn't move. My entire boy felt like lead. I could see and hear, but that was about it. They must have drugged the rum. It dawned on me that it was pretty stupid of me to drink stuff from a couple of sleazy strangers.
"He's very sexy... Your taste is impeccable," I heard another voice say. Had to be from the previously silent short one. I tried to move, to run away, but I couldn't even twitch my finger. Whatever they had given me was pretty strong. Millions of lectures about people getting drugged and raped at rave clubs flitted through my mind.
I felt my shirt being unlaced and a hand slithering over my skin. I tried to scream, but couldn't even move my lips. Fear was coursing through my veins. I didn't want to be raped. I didn't want these strange men touching me, or fucking me. I'd never been with a man, and didn't want my first time to be courtesy of date rape drugs, by a couple of sleazeballs.
I felt my belts being tugged on while a mouth went to work on my chest, licking at my nipples. I fought back the urge to vomit, because I'd most likely choke myself to death.
"Why does he wear so many fucking belts?" the tall one complained. The short one ignored him, and I could feel the pull of my skin when he sucked my nipples. Tears of frustration poured from my eyes. If I had to be raped, why couldn't it be Seifer? At least I felt something for Seifer.
I suddenly realized I wanted my first time to be with Seifer. I wanted him to be the first and only man that touched me. I was a virgin as far as men went, and I wanted Seifer to be the one to take it. I hated these men touching me!! I was struggling, screaming, fighting them in my mind. But I was paralyzed in my body.
My belts were loosened and I tried not to notice that my pants were being opened. I wished I had thought to wear underwear, if for only to provide my attacker with another obstacle. I felt a hand stroke my cock, but I was still limp, because nothing they did to me, aroused me. I was disgusted and terrified.
I tried not to think about it. I tried to pretend I was somewhere else. I heard the music, and would never be able to listen to Lennon After Midnight again. My pants were being slid off, and those horrible, violating hands were trying to arouse me. It wasn't working, and I could feel a mouth close around my cock. I started to cry, but no sound erupted from my lips.
And then the mouth was pulled away. Abruptly.
I felt the weight of the two men disappear, and heard someone familiar screaming in rage. I heard a fire spell go off, and then smelled burned flesh. I could hear the two men that had been trying to rape me shouting. One began to cry, screaming about his flesh burning. The other's shouts ended abruptly, and I watched the tall man's head fly past my line of vision.
And then Seifer was there. He looked angry. So angry that there were tears in his eyes. "Squall? Are you okay...?" he asked me touching my face. His touch was so gentle. I wanted to answer, but I couldn't. I just stared at him.
He tried putting my clothes back on, but they were pretty much ruined, and he took off his trenchcoat to cover me. "It'll be alright, Squall. I killed them for you. I won't let them hurt you anymore... I'm sorry I took so long," he said, his voice catching with emotion.
I felt his strong arms pick me up, cradling me in his arms. After what he just did to my attackers, nobody was going to fuck with him when he made his way out. Nobody would call the authorities, either, because no one wanted to get busted for the drugs and underage drinking going on here. I just stared up at the ceiling, being as how I couldn't move and all.
"It took me a while to find you... I figured you wouldn't want to speak to me, and you had run away. But I wanted to talk with you one more time before you ran away. So I went to find you. Took me a while, but I found you here.... I'm glad I came now..." Seifer said gently, still holding me. My previous fear of him seemed to be gone. I was so happy he was there. That he had saved me.
It was very dark outside. Seifer called a cab to take us back to Matron's house. He just held me silently, stroking my head. I felt comforted. But I was also completely out of it.
I think I passed out in the cab ride back, comforted by Seifer's strong arms.
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