Reflection

By J. Marie

Warning!!! This is a lemon yaoi fanfiction starring Seifer Almasy and Zell Dincht from Final Fantasy VIII. If rated, it should be NC-17. If the idea of male homosexuality offends you, or if you are under the age of 18, please do NOT read this. This story was requested by my 1500th hit, Scarlet Fever. I'm writing the story along to the song lyrics of Reflection, by Christina Aguilera. It will have insertions of the lyrics along with the story. Please don't think I wrote the song. All I did was exchange "man" for "girl" where necessary. If it is in bold italics, that means it is the lyrics of the song. If you've read my other FF8 stories, this story does not fall under any of those continuities. Hope you like the story, Scarlet Fever!!

Look at me. You may think you see who I really am. But you'll never know me. Ev'ry day, it's as if I play a part. Now I see, if i wear a mask, I can fool the world. But I cannot fool my heart. Who is that man I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside? I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in. But somehow I will show the world, what's inside my heart, and be loved for who I am. Who is that man I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside? There's a heart that must be free to fly, that burns with a need to know the reason why. Why must we all conceal what we think, what we feel? Must there be a secret me, I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time... When will my reflection show who I am inside? When will my reflection show who I am inside?

 


Zell Dincht bounded through the door of his home. He could smell fish frying and headed to the kitchen, expecting to find his mother.

Instead he found a seven-foot black man frying up cajun style catfish, humming to himself.

"Raijin? What the hell are you doing in my house!?! And where's my mom!?!" Zell demanded, causing the black man to jump in startlement.

"I'm cookin' fish, ya know. And your mom's in the living room, playin' cards with Fujin, ya know...." Raijin said with a grin, turning back to his fish.

Zell blinked and headed to his living room, finding his mother calmly playing Triple Triad with Fujin. "Mom!?!" he asked incredulously. Two of his worst enemies in the Garden were taking over his house.

"Oh! Hello, dear! Fujin and I are playing cards... Would you like to join?" the middle-aged woman said cheerfully.

"Uh... no... I'm going to take a nap... I'm on vacation by the way..." Zell said, staring at his mother and the pale woman with shock.

"ZELL. WELCOME HOME," Fujin said, her face as stern as ever.

"Right..." Zell said, heading up to his room, feeling ousted.

His mother followed him after a few minutes. "Honey? Is something wrong?' she asked.

"I... well... Why are Fujin and Raijin here??" he asked, sounding incredulous.

"Fujin and Raijin are so sweet. They've been keeping me company while you've been away, dear. I keep telling them to bring their friend Seifer over, but he's so aloof..." Zell's mother sighed.

Zell gaped. "Mom!! Fujin and Raijin are one thing, but no way are you gonna bring that conceited bully into my house!!!" he said hotly.

Zell's mother blinked. "I'm sorry that you feel that way, Zell.... Unfortunately, most people seem to share your views..." she sighed.

Zell put his hands on his hips. "Whaddaya mean?" he asked.

"I mean that Seifer is being treated very badly. He was tricked and brain washed into serving the Sorceress, Fujin and Raijin tell me, but everyone blames him for everything..." Zell's mother said, looking sternly at her son.

"Ah, well.... I didn't mean...." Zell stammered, shuffling his feet.

"I taught you better than that, young man! You turn the other cheek to your enemies, and try to make friends... I know you're better than all these people, Zell.... You're on vacation... You knew each other... Why don't you go talk to him?" his mother suggested, helping him unpack.

"Um... me?? Seifer hates me!!! He used to pick on me all the time!!!" Zell cried.

"So? Give him a chance... Maybe all he needed was a friend... I think that's what he needs... A new friend... From someone he used to know... Go talk to him!" his mother said, handing Zell a hat and his wallet.

"I... talk to Seifer?? What am I suppose to say??" Zell asked slowly, putting the hat over his spikey hair.

"Whatever you like... He's usually at the pier... either fishing, or watching the water... Go!" his mother ordered, shooing her son out.

Zell sighed, bewildered and a little nervous.

I'm suppose to make friends with Seifer??? Seifer Almasy??? This is gonna be hard!!!

 

Look at me. You may think you see who I really am. But you'll never know me. Ev'ry day, it's as if I play a part. Now I see, if I wear a mask, I can fool the world. But I cannot fool my heart.

 

Zell walked over to the pier, noticing a familiar blonde fishing at the edge.

Zell sighed and started heading towards Seifer. The tall man was fishing quietly, more quiet than Zell had ever known him to be. His trenchcoat was to the side, and he was sporting a blue muscle shirt and jeans. Seifer seemed not so interested in fishing, as he was at staring at his reflection in the water. The petite blonde stood right behind Seifer for a moment before speaking.

"Um.... want some help?" Zell asked.

The handsome blonde jumped, turning around to stare at Zell. "You... Zell!?!" Seifer demanded, looking shocked.

"Hi," was all Zell could think of to say.

Seifer blinked. "What the hell are you doing here, chicken wuss?" he demanded, his scarred face crumpling into a snarl.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!?!" Zell demanded, shaking furiously, putting his fists up as he turned red in anger.

"I called ya a chicken wuss. Now what do ya want? Wanna take a shot at me, like every other loser in this town!?!" Seifer stood up, his 6' 2" frame towering over Zell's mere 5' 5".

Zell swallowed a bit, and then noticed Seifer's face. He had a black eye, and a fat lip. Seifer was favoring his right leg, and Zell noticed a lot of bandages.

"Christ... They beat you..." Zell whispered in shock.

Seifer paused, looking at the shocked Zell. "They just got lucky!" he shouted, kicking his box of bait aside. "I coulda taken 'em!"

Zell released his fighting stance, going almost limp. "Jeez, Seifer... I had no idea it was that bad..." he sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.

Seifer looked angrily at the petite blonde. "Don't ya dare, chicken wuss!! I don't need yer goddam pity!!" he hollered, picking up his trenchcoat to leave.

"I didn't come here to pity you, Seifer... I came to... say that I was sorry... For how all us SeeDs and everybody else reacted to you after Ultimecia... We just blamed you, even though you were just brain washed into being her pawn..." Zell sighed, as Seifer tried to brush past him.

Seifer paused, sagging as his anger left him. "Sorry, chicken wuss... I... overreacted..." Seifer sighed, walking past Zell.

Zell stood there in shock for a few minutes, watching Seifer head back to town.

Never, in all the years that he had known the arrogant man, had Seifer ever said he was sorry....

For anything...

 

Who is that man I see, staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?

 

Seifer Almasy opened the door to his ramshackle apartment, turning on the partially burned out lights. He threw his trenchcoat down and went to his refridgerator to grab a beer.

Seifer wandered into his bedroom, peeling off his shirt and jeans, even his boxers. He stood nude in front of the full-length mirror in the room, just staring at himself. He checked all the bruises, and healing cuts on his body, satisfied that none were infected.

The worse wound he suffered, when a group of twenty men jumped him a couple weeks ago and beat him, was the damage to his pride.

I was the goddam Sorceress' fucking Knight, and they beat me... Screamed at me... Called me names... and they....

A few men had remained behind, while he was half-conscious and bruised on the ground. He had been dragged into an alleyway. The men left behind continued their beating. In a different way.

Fuckers.... If I ever find them... I'll fucking kill them....

Seifer placed his golden head against the mirror. He willed the tears back as he recalled what the men had done to him. There was five of them, and they had taken turns maliciously raping him, and forcing him to perform sexual perversions...

Seifer was unsuccessful, and his tears came pouring down his face. He could feel the pain still, not the physical pain, but the humiliation, and the degradation.

Seifer thought he had hated Ultimecia. But after that night...

He realized he hated himself more.

The handsome blonde stared into the mirror, looking at the tears pouring from his own pale green eyes, his nudity, his vulnerability.

Look at yourself, Almasy. Yer a fucking loser. Always have been, always will be. Only friends you got, can't understand how you feel. They're worshippers, followers, not friends. You always tried to be better than Squall... but yer worse than any of them....

Even the chicken wuss made it. All you were was the loser who failed. You pushed all your potential friends away, tried to act like you were better than all of them. You made yourself the rival of the one guy who had what it took to make it through... no matter what...

And now you're here. Staring at your own reflection,seeing the piece of shit that you always were... and always will be...

Seifer turned and went to his bed, laying down on his sheets, the silent tears still running down his face.

They always say that pride goes before the fall.

 

I am now in a world where I have to hide my heart, and what I believe in. But somehow I will show the world, what's inside my heart, and be loved for who I am.

 

Seifer got up before dawn, heading off to his dockworking job. He showed up, late as usual, and began to pull the crates the pier master told him.

He had no friends at work, and most of the other dockhands snickered at him. He was given the worst jobs, and was almost positive he got the worst pay.

Seifer sighed, remembering the days when he was the top notch student of Balamb Garden. He could've beaten Quistis' record, if only he had followed orders.

And the surprising thing that was following Ultimecia's orders, what had brought about his downfall. He was the Sorceress' Knight... Now he was a dockhand.

Seifer got off late in the afternoon and headed towards his favorite bar.

How many years has it been since you let Ultimecia mindfuck you? Seifer thought to himself, musing over the fact that it had been four years, and it was still all he thought about.

Seifer ordered his usual, beginning to guzzle his beers, ignoring the football on the television with disdain. He didn't sit at the bar, but by a window. The hours were sliding by, and Seifer could see his reflection in the window.

A small person sat beside him. Seifer looked over and saw Zell, and groaned slightly. "Chicken wuss," he said coldly.

"Hello, Mr. Ego. What ya up to?" Zell asked cooly, having previously promised himself not to get upset at Seifer's nickname.

Seifer shrugged. "Not much. Just trying to drink myself into oblivion, I guess," Seifer said.

"Man, Seifer... You've changed. I remember when your whole life was dedicated to beating Squall...." Zell commented, popping open his own beer.

"Things change, chicken wuss. But you'll always be a short, smart-mouthed punk, if it makes you feel any better. How's the new Headmaster of Balamb Garden doing anyways?" Seifer replied.

"Squall? He's doing great! He and Quistis are married, and they're trying to have a baby..." Zell prattled.

Seifer raised a golden eyebrow at the spikey haired man. "Quistis??? I thought he was going with Rinoa!!!" he said, curious about his rival despite himself.

"Oh. Rinoa. She went back to Galbadia after going out a few months with Squall. It didn't really work out.. We were all shocked. I guess they were too different... Then Squall started to date Quistis... and Quistis always had a thing for Squall... They get along great... They're both kinda quiet, but you can tell how happy they are together. Man, Squall is so cool. All his friends got like our ranks boosted, and we get the primo jobs now... I'm SeeD rank A now... And I got an awesome dormitory now! I mean, Squall is just the best!! He's running that place better than even Cid!" Zell babbled, then stopped, noting Seifer's sour expression.

"Yippie fucking hooray for Squall. You sound like you're in love with him, Zell. You dump your girlfriend, so Leonhart could bend you over his new desk?" Seifer said crassly.

Zell blushed hotly, and managed to control his temper, going over what his mother had told him about turning the other cheek. "No... I dumped her because it wasn't working out..." he sighed.

Seifer shrugged. "You dumped free pussy? That's fucking stupid..." Seifer said, opening another beer.

Zell sighed. "She wasn't all that great in bed... 'Sides, sex isn't everything... How are those bruises coming along?" he asked, changing the subject quickly.

Seifer shrugged again. "I'll heal..." he said shortly.

"Still gotta be the one in charge. You once said that teamwork was staying out of your way... How do you feel about that statement now?"

"I feel that teamwork doesn't exist... Not for me at least..." Seifer said quietly, his handsome face softening for a moment.

Zell's adorable face took on a look of concern. "Seifer... I know it's gotta be hard for you... But you know, we never got along, ever... But if you need someone to talk too," Zell said, placing a hand on Seifer's arm.

Seifer looked down at the hand and put one of his own on it. Zell looked startled at what almost seemed like affection, coming from Seifer Almasy. But he left his hand there, under Seifer's warm, larger hand. Zell could feel the callouses of using a gunblade on his hand.

Seifer looked up and smirked at the adorable man. "You got soft hands, chicken wuss... At least on the underside... Like a girl's," he said, standing up.

Zell blinked and then blushed. It had always been hard to conceal the fact that he was gay, especially around attractive men like Seifer and Squall. And now that Seifer was touching him... Despite their past, it sent thrills down Zell's spine.

Seifer sighed, wondering why he was letting so much of himself show. He set his face again, and stood up, letting Zell's hand slide off. "Thanks fer the offer, chicken wuss... But I can handle it on my own..." he said, grabbing one final beer and heading out.

But the touch... left both men wondering.

 

Who is that man I see, staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time? When will my reflection show who I am inside?

 

Seifer stared at the old playground glumly. The playground was just outside Balamb, and Seifer could remember coming here when he was younger, an escape from the Garden...

The past week, even with Zell showing up here and there to cheer him up, wasn't getting any easier for him. Everyone still hated him, he could see it in their eyes when he walked past. The bruises and cuts were almost gone, or faded.

But he still felt every indignity, the violation, and the hatred... He felt like he was choking, pretending to be the tough macho man. His wall was crumbling. He wanted to cry and scream, rip people's heads off. He wanted to smash walls and break things.

He wanted to be free of the prison he had created for himself.

Seifer sat on the one swing that wasn't broken and dangled there. He looked down at a puddle of water, and saw his own reflection. He had to look away, the sight bothered him so much. He didn't recognize himself anymore. Gone was his ego, his pride. He felt empty....

Nobody loved him, cared about him. They all wanted him to curl up and die. And Seifer wanted to curl up and die. What was the point of living if you had nothing to live for?

Seifer began to sob, not just cry, but sob, feeling all the oppression on him at once. He fell to his knees, slipping from the swing, crying like a child. He just sank to the ground, letting all his anger, frustration, and pain out.

Seifer felt strong arms lift him up, and wrap around him. Seifer didn't even care who it was, and just placed his head on the person's shoulder, sobbing till he had no more tears to shed.

"Sshhh... shhh" Zell whispered, rocking Seifer like a frightened child, holding him tightly. He didn't completely understand what was going on with Seifer, but could that his childhood bully was falling apart at the seams.

Seifer found himself hiccuping against Zell, when his sobbing was done and sat up, not bothering to wipe the tears from his face. He stared at the petite man, not bothering to put up his usual tough guy act.

Zell reached out and gently wiped the drying tears from Seifer's face. "Seifer... What's wrong? You gotta talk about it... Or you're going to rot away from the inside out...." he whispered.

Seifer still shook from his emotions, looking at Zell, not as Seifer Almasy, but as a frightened child who needed someone to care. Zell stared back, not knowing what to make of Seifer like this.

"Seifer.... tell me..." Zell said, his strong arms still around the tall blonde.

Seifer laid his heart bare to Zell at that moment, confessing his feelings, his problems.

He had never done that before in his entire life.

 

There's a heart that must be free to fly, that burns with a need to know the reason why. Why must we all conceal what we think, how we feel? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?

 

Seifer sat near the sandbox, his back turned to Zell. When he finished telling the small man what had been happening, he didn't want anyone to see his face.

Zell stood behind Seifer, not knowing what to say, what to feel. Seifer had tormented him as a child...

And now he was here, watching Seifer fall to pieces.

"Seifer... I...." Zell sighed, feeling inept.

"Forget it, chicken wuss. I've been alone most of my life, I can handle it. Go back home, talk to your mother, pack your bags so you can return to the Garden and worship the ground Squall walks on..." Seifer said after a while, acting like the tough guy again.

Zell sighed, then sat beside Seifer in the sandbox. "No, you can't handle it anymore, Seifer... You're not fooling me... You're worse than Squall ever was, in the worst depression he ever had..." he said.

Seifer's green eyes flashed for a moment and he turned on Zell, getting in his face. "Well, I'm fucking sorry I can't measure up to Squall!!!! Not all of us were born perfect!!!!!" he screamed, grabbing Zell by his jacket.

Zell looked startled. "I wasn't saying that, Seifer! You fucking asshole!! Get off me!!!" he yelled back, bringing his full strength to bare, and pushing Seifer into the sandbox. Zell was small, but he was as strong as a man five times his size.

Seifer fell back, and just lay there, sinking against the sand. "I'm sorry, Zell..." he whispered after a pause.

Zell chewed his bottom lip. "Seifer... you need some help..." he said, putting a hand on the man's arm.

Seifer looked over at the hand and put his own on top of it. "You wanna help me, Zell?" he asked, turning his gaze up to Zell's azure eyes.

Zell crinkled his brow, looking at Seifer with wide eyes. "I... what do you mean?" he asked, curling his fingers around Seifer's.

"Help me..." Seifer breathed, sitting up and leaning into Zell.

Zell drew away for a minute, looking at Seifer with shock. While he had always found the tall blonde attractive, most of his feelings had been directed at Squall. The thought of being anything more significant than the bully's victim never crossed his mind. Seifer had always acted completely heterosexual...

But now the mask was off, and Zell wondered if the desperate man before him was the real Seifer.

Seifer leaned in close, his dark pink lips touched gently to Zell's pale, quivering lips. Zell let Seifer press further, as Seifer enveloped the petite man's mouth, kissing him more gently than Zell thought Seifer could ever be.

Zell kissed back, a hot blush spreading across his cheeks, he felt Seifer wrap his arms around him, and did the same, closing his eyes. Seifer slipped his tongue past Zell's lips, engaging the small blonde's tongue, sliding against it. Zell sucked very gently on Seifer's tongue, spreading his hands across Seifer's broad back, feeling the strong muscles Seifer had.

Seifer slipped his hands beneath Zell's shirt, rubbing the petite blonde's back. All of a sudden, Zell felt himself pushed into the sandbox, as Seifer began to pull his shirt off. Zell was startled, and squirmed beneath Seifer.

"Sei-Seifer! This is wrong, man... I can't do this..." Zell stuttered, shuddering as Seifer began to move his lips down Zell's neck and chest.

Seifer paused and looked up at the smaller man. "Why? Because you'd rather Squall do this?" he hissed.

Zell shook his head. "No, Seifer... Because you're having a rough time... This isn't right..." he sighed.

"I want you. I need you... Please don't leave...." Seifer said, his face softening, and he began to caress Zell's arms, looking desperate again.

Zell saw the look in Seifer's eyes. It wasn't a sexual desperation... It was an emotional desperation... And Seifer was so closed off, that he considered sex an emotional release. Zell sighed, relenting to Seifer. He hadn't wanted things to turn out like this... He didn't want sex for the sake of giving Seifer emotional support. Zell wanted something more, something he never had...

Seifer returned to kissing Zell's chest when the smaller man relinquished himself to Seifer. Seifer found one of Zell's nipple, and exploited the area with his tongue. Zell gasped, getting aroused, despite his reservations. Seifer nibbled slightly on the nipple, sucking very gently. Seifer let his hands slip to the lip of Zell's baggy pants, quickly undoing the smaller man's belt.

Zell squirmed in the sand, reaching up to unbutton Seifer's shirt, slipping his hands past the cloth and onto Seifer's muscular chest, caressing ever contour of it. Seifer began to undo Zell's pants, sitting up so he could peel them off quickly.

Zell lay in the sand, panting, as Seifer stripped him naked. Seifer grinned a little. Zell was even more adorable naked than he was clothed. He was aroused, and squirming slightly from lack of contact as Seifer stared at him.

Seifer grinned and leaned down, pulling Zell's hands from his chest and pinning them to the petite blonde's sides. Seifer snaked his tongue out as he bent over, gently touching Zell's growing arousal. The smaller man gasped as he became fully erect, and Seifer's tongue explored Zell's tip, gently licking his slit.

Zell began to make mewling noises, and lifted his hips, the intense pleasure of his hot spot being licked driving him crazy. Seifer placed his hand on Zell's hips and pushed them down, holding him still.

"Please don't fuck my face, Zell... If you hold still, I can do more..." Seifer grinned.

Zell blinked. "Uh... right..." he whispered.

"Surprised that I know this? Thought I was straight, didn't ya?" Seifer said, as he bent back down, taking Zell's tip in his mouth.

Zell didn't answer, moaning loudly, and resisting the urge to begin thrusting into Seifer's mouth. Seifer slowly took as much of Zell into his mouth as he could, and began to suck him like a popsicle, with the experience of a man who knew what he was doing. Zell moaned, barely resisting the urge to thrust as Seifer's tongue slid against the underside of his shaft and Seifer's hand wrapped around the base of his penis, stroking it. Zell didn't know that anything could feel this good as he leaked into Seifer's mouth.

Seifer rather enjoyed Zell's taste, finding it as sweet as the man itself, with spice to balance the taste. He sucked harder, knowing Zell was going to come at any moment. Zell cried out loudly, thrusting once as he came. Seifer swallowed the sweet and sour tasting fluid, sitting up and kissing Zell.

Zell kissed back, able to taste himself in Seifer's mouth. Seifer pressed himself against Zell, pressing the man deeper into the sand. Zell could feel what Seifer wanted, as the larger blonde spread the smaller's legs apart and rubbed his own erection against Zell's opening.

Zell closed his eyes, and rested against the sand. He could already feel the sand sticking to his sweat glistening back, and smiled as Seifer pressed into him. "How did I know you'd be a top...?" Zell muttered.

"I like being on the bottom too, smart ass..." Seifer panted, slipping himself in deeply, revelling in the tightness that Zell's small form gave him.

Zell arched, crying out, and lifting up to clutch onto Seifer. He became aroused again, muttering incomprehensibly as Seifer began to thrust into him. Seifer was moaning loudly, holding the petite man against him. He began to kiss Zell's ear, and pressed him deep into the sand, which caused it to stick again to Zell's back. Zell was starting to mewl again, having always found that he rather enjoyed being fucked.

Seifer rolled over, and Zell found himself on the top, and that Seifer was urging the petite man to ride him. Zell grinned and began to do so, leaning up a little to rub the underside of his shaft against Seifer's sandy stomach. Zell pressed the taller man hard against the sand, massaging Seifer's broad chest. Seifer was moaning loudly, his hands massaging Zell's erection.

Zell was crying out as loudly as Seifer, leaking again all over the larger man's belly, adding his seed to the sand and sweat already there. Seifer groaned loudly, his thrusting hard into Zell as he orgasmed, arching upwards, sand sticking to his back now. Zell came again soon after, sprawling across Seifer's broad build, both men panting.

Zell sat up after a few minutes, squirming from Seifer's embrace. He was still straddling the tall blonde, and looked down at Seifer's scarred face. "So... What now?" he asked quietly.

"Now..." Seifer said thoughtfully, gently caressing Zell's facial tatto. "Now we go back to my apartment... Shower... And sleep..."

"Together?" Zell sighed, looking down, expecting Seifer to give him the brush off now.

"I said 'we', chicken wuss..." Seifer said, sitting up and beginning to brush the sand off their bodies.

Zell smiled, wondering why the thought of staying with Seifer made him so happy...

 

I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time... When will my reflection show who I am inside? When will my reflection show who I am inside?

 

Seifer stared at his nude form in his his mirror. He could see Zell's sleeping form in the reflection, curled up in his bed.

Seifer just stared at himself. Not from vanity, but as though he was trying to understand the man he saw in the reflection. Golden hair, pale green eyes, peaches and cream complexion. Several scars, the most notable being the one on his forehead, an old battle scar from training with Squall. Tall, muscular build, but not overly so. Extremely handsome, almost to the point of perfection.

But Seifer wasn't looking at his physical reflection. And he couldn't decide if he liked himself or not. Or what the next day would bring. Whether it be a relationship with Zell, or a one night stand. He wanted something more from the petite blonde...

It was like Zell held a missing piece of his soul that he needed to capture.

Seifer turned from himself, from the myriad of complex issues he had yet to resolve about himself. He lay down beside the sleeping Zell, studying the young man's adorable, tattooed face. His small, but well-muscled form. Seifer traced a finger across the lines of Zell's facial tattoo, wondering what he felt about him.

Zell woke to the gentle touch, turning to look at Seifer. He blinked his blue eyes, reaching up to trace the long scar on Seifer's face. Zell sat up, the dingy sheet falling from him as he hugged Seifer. Seifer wrapped his arms around Zell, grateful for the affection.

"Admit it, Mr. Ego... This is what you wanted from me... Not sex..." Zell whispered into Seifer's ear, nuzzling it.

"Yeah... It is... I think... I need you, Zell... I don't know if I love you... But I think I could easily learn to..." Seifer whispered back, closing his eyes as he held Zell to him.

Zell sighed and smiled. "I don't know if I love you yet, and as long you behave yourself, I think falling in love with you wouldn't be hard at all..." he sighed, now nuzzling Seifer's neck.

"You mean that...?" Seifer whispered, surprised that anyone would ever love him.

Zell looked up. "Yep... Just as long as you act like the real you... And not the jackass you present to the world..." he said.

"So that means you're gonna stick around to make sure I stay in line?" Seifer asked hopefully.

"Yeah... One thing though.... Why do you stare at yourself naked in the mirror?" Zell asked.

"I'm... trying to see if my reflection will tell me who I really am... I know it's stupid..." Seifer sighed.

"No... it's not... I hope you find him..." Zell said honestly.

"If you stick around, Zell.... Maybe I will...." Seifer whispered, kissing Zell gently.

Zell just smiled, content to snuggle with Seifer for the rest of the night.

And as odd as it may sound, somehwere in the midst of togetherness... Seifer found himself.

And his reflection showed who he really was inside....

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