Monday, October 13th

By the time Zell got to his mother's house he was slightly more comfortable but there was no way he'd be able to move comfortably. Even though Seifer hadn't had to come five times inside of him he still wasn't used to fucking four times in a row. He was thankful his mother was used to him being energetic and therefore would not ask questions when he didn't sit down. His Ma was awesome. He grinned cheerily at the thought of her.

She was in the kitchen when he got in, hurriedly making something. "Nice of you to call on your way here," she joked. "How on earth am I supposed to make your lunch that quickly?"

"You're not," he argued but he knew he'd lost this one already.

"Well, it won't be ready for a few minutes. And it serves you right for not calling and letting me know you were coming before you left. Now go and... do something. Have a nap or something. You look tired."

Zell shrugged. "I'm good. Whatcha makin'?" he tried to lift the lid but his Ma bustled him out of the kitchen. She'd been like this for a little while now, since he'd moved out really. Before she used to let him help her cook all sorts of cool stuff. Like that chocolate marshmallow slice that got even Squall drooling. He could cook and she knew it, she just wanted to wait on him now he was all grown up and unable to look after himself.

"I'll call you when it's done," she continued, smiling that little wicked smile that Zell had inherited somehow. "Why don't you go and mess up your room... then you can tidy it again."

"Oh ha-ha," Zell replied, poking his tongue out at her. "Fine, I'll go have a nap. But I wanna know the instant it's ready OK? I'm starved. "

Ma laughed. "Yes, now go." She shooed him away with her hands and went back into the kitchen.

As he was heading up the stairs she called out to him. "Next time maybe you should invite your friend in."

Zell froze on the stairs. "He's not really a friend. Just offered me a lift since he was comin' into Balamb anyway." The martial artist winced. That sounded believeable but his Ma had an awesome lie-radar. She just *knew * when he was making stuff up.

"Oh well," she replied. "Maybe you should cook him something as a thank you."

"Can't go lettin' people know I can cook, Ma," he argued. "They'll expect me ta do it all the time."

She laughed. "They might think you were gay."

Zell rolled his eyes. "Ha-ha." He shook his head and started for his room again. He couldn't believe now that he'd ever been so scared of telling her he preferred men. She was so casual about it she might as well be setting him up with every cute guy she saw. He suspected she might be doing that anyway, she was devious like that. *And* she made jokes about it. Horrid woman. He grinned. His Ma was so awesome.

She probably wouldn't approve of Seifer though. Maybe she would. She liked the motto 'Forgive and Forget'. He supposed that was why he was so nice to people. She'd managed to make him almost forgive Seifer for all the bullying and teasing *and* what went on with Ultimecia, just by talking at him for half-an-hour. Needless to say Zell was extremely envious of her manipulation skills, she could rival Seifer at his best without even opening her mouth.

But then it wasn't really Seifer's fault, all that trying to take over the world and kill them. Although it sounded just like something he would do Zell and his Ma felt that the blame should not be placed upon him, it was something about the look in his eyes. When Seifer had first returned to Garden Zell had been angry at the thought of having to put up with him again but when he arrived, chin up, and eyes cold just like always Zell also saw something else. Hurt and shame. No matter how hard he had tried to tell himself that he hated Seifer and would not have anything to do with him the more he saw of the older blond around Garden the more he almost felt sorry for him. He was being blamed for something he couldn't control, and now was without even Raijin and Fujin.

He flopped face down on his bed and his stupid brain decided to muse over Seifer some more. Were they together? Hardly. Were they friends? Barely. He wondered for a moment why he had let Seifer be so rough with him. He wasn't a masochist. Though Seifer had probably enjoyed it.

'Damn sadistic bastard.'

He hadn't done it because it hurt, but because it didn't. If Seifer had been nice to him it would have been too weird, in fact it was reaching that stage already what with him giving Zell a lift to his Ma's.

'Fucking *and* being nice? That's going too far.'

He sighed and thought about rolling onto his back. Ma was right, he was tired, that week without sleep was catching up with him. But now he'd had what he wanted and the way Seifer was acting he wouldn't be surprised if it kept going on for a while yet. So what to do now... Sleep? That sounded pleasant. He tried not to think about going back to work tomorrow, stupid classes, stupid cadets. Sometimes he hated being a SeeD and an instructor but it sure did have it's perks. More pay for a start, and now Squall was thinking of getting Seifer to help Rinoa research Sorceress powers maybe Seifer wouldn't sulk in his room so much. Zell grinned at the thought of the ex-Knight sulking.

He rested his chin on his hands and sighed again. He didn't want the older boy to know but he really wished sometimes that there was something he could do for him. Something to make his life a little easier. He really did get the short end of the stick when it came down to it. No parents, never a favourite son, hated, picked on, and then Ultimecia. It was strange to think of Seifer as a victim but he was really. Who'd ever been on his side?

He was drifting off to sleep when his Ma knocked lightly on the door and came in. He heard her laugh.

"What?" he asked.

"You just look so very cute sleeping on your tummy like that."

Zell sighed and she came to sit on the bed beside him.

"So," she began. "Found yourself a boyfriend have you?"

"What?" Zell opened his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows, looking at her. "No. What gave you that idea?"

"That nice.. err, hickey on your neck there."

"Huh?" Zell jumped up off his bed and headed for the mirror. 'That bastard.' "Hmm," he said.

"Hmm, indeed," she replied, then her voice got that tone and he knew she was about to ask a serious question. "Zell? Do you love him?"

Zell scoffed. "No."

"Do you like him?"

Zell shrugged. "Don't think so."

"Are you coming down for lunch?"

Zell grinned. "You bet!"

After dropping Zell at his mother's house in a borrowed (stolen) Garden vehicle, Seifer headed to the beach. Here he turned the stereo on and lit up a cigarette. He'd never really spent much time considering how other people saw him but there was a definate need to muse when it came to Zell.

So what he'd been longing for over the past week had come to fruition (Had it ever!) but what the fuck did he do now? Sure he'd like to spend a few more nights like that with Zell so that covered the future; the question that irritated him the most was what in the world had actually gone on between them. Why had Zell let him be so rough? Hold him down? Bite him? He hadn't meant to it was just that he wanted Zell close to him so much, he was afraid he'd get away. He wanted to crush that body, not because he wanted to hurt him but because he wanted to keep him. Though the way Zell was acting he probably enjoyed it.

'Masochistic little bastard.'

It just seemed natural for them to fight, to argue, and for Seifer to eventually win. So he supposed someone was going to get hurt... probably not him. He should be gentler but it wasn't really in his repetoire, he was a bully, an ex-sorceress' knight, a mercenary, an arrogant bastard... nowhere in his character profile did it state that he would go all soft and gooey at the sight of puppy dogs, kittens, teddy bears or Zell Dincht. Though they *were* all equally cute.

He scowled and threw the cigarette butt out the window. So what had he established? Nothing. He was using Zell as a fuck buddy and... well, that was about it. Maybe Zell was using him too... He probably was, he couldn't have had that many lovers, though he was pretty good when it came down to it. He'd needed to be tamed to start off with but once that was done he wriggled and moaned and touched all the right places. Seifer smirked and started the car. He couldn't spend too much time thinking about it, it wasn't that important. As he headed out of Balamb he decided to just let it happen. He might as well enjoy himself while he could. Hyne only knew when his life would turn to complete shit... again.

He was halfway home when the thought came him that maybe this time he should actually try not to lose. Most of the time he hadn't bothered working too hard for things, they had always come to him and ended up perfect, he could've made anything happen if he wanted. But then there was Her, and things had started fucking up. Seifer pulled the Garden vehicle over to the side of the road and got out. It wasn't a good idea to start thinking about Her when he was driving, last that had happened he'd almost crashed the car and killed all the occupants. That was bit of a mixed blessing though, the car had been full of cadets, screaming, giggling, horrid little teenagers. He shuddered at the memory, maybe he should have crashed it...

The gunblader leaned into the car and turned his radio on.

"Wer zu lebzeit gut auf erden"

Now that felt better. He grinned and looked out over the green country he'd lived with ever since his acceptance into SeeD. It was certainly something beautiful; emerald green field, the dark forest and the blue sea in the distance. He drew a deep breath and sucked the salty sea air into his lungs. Fresh air always made him feel somewhat cleaner, like it could rid him of the darkness in his heart. Now that it was coming into winter the air was cold, brought from Trabian snow fields, and that made it feel more cleansing. The sky was stained with the steel grey clouds of an Autumn storm.

Seifer smiled. He'd always liked Winter. Everyone else muttered and complained about it, but then they were the sort of people who liked the beach and wearing skimpy outfits. There was something infinately better about lying in bed when it was cold out and drinking coffee. A warm body to lie with wouldn't go astray either, maybe that's why these past few years he'd been even more depressed than usual, he couldn't even enjoy winter like he used to. Would Zell make it go away?

Behind him heard a hoarse croak and, turning, saw a flock of black birds. Ravens... or crows. He could never remember which was which. Were crows the browny-black ones and ravens blue-black? One hopped closer to the car and crowed at him. An unkindness of ravens.

'How appropriate,' he thought. He fought the urge to shoo the birds away, they weren't doing any harm out here in the fields. And neither was he. But then maybe they were crows, in which case it was even more appropriate that he be here with them. A murder of crows. Oh, he was part of a murder all right. Question was which one? There were so many to choose from.

For a moment he considered turning the stereo off and listening to the pure sounds of life, and the planet. But then it reminded him of who he was.

"Gott weiss ich will kein engel sein"

God knows I don't want to be an angel.

He flinched. But it was true. He couldn't be. He was a tortured soul. He grinned at that, more to convince himself that it was funny than anything else. Sure he was tortured, but then he'd always been. Tortured by screaming teenaged cadets. Tortured by not living up to his own expectations, let alone everyone elses. Tortured by always being compared to that surly little brat Squall Leonheart. Oh, he had the famous father, a President no less. He got the girl. He won the damn Second Sorceress War single handed. He got absolutely fucking everything and didn't have to bother trying. Not that Seifer cared, he wasn't bitter or anything, he made choices too and he won things... Like Zell.

Over the mountain range behind him Seifer could see the storm clouds joining together, the steel grey and another storm centre of a stranger colour, ones with green in them. That meant hail, he seemed to remember. He decided he should get back to Garden before the ice drummed holes in the 'borrowed' vehicle. Squall would be pissed. But then wasn't he always?

He drew a deep breath as he got back into the car and considered his options. Let Zell make the decisions... not on your life. Everyone knew Chickie was incompetant and stupid. Make the decisions himself... also no, Fate had a habit of fucking him up recently, this was something too much fun to let go of. So what? Che será será?

'My arse.'

Maybe if he just took what he wanted and expected Zell to do the same... That sounded reasonable. If he wanted a fuck he'd have a supple, strong, gorgeous body waiting and ready. Now *that* was definately a perk.

It was 10pm when Seifer found himself wanting that body beside him again, or more to the point when he wanted to be *inside* that body again. He'd spent the day finishing up all those pathetic assignments he hated, including the one on Quez. Zell hadn't been much help though when Seifer was doing it that morning- he'd had his mouth full at the time. The gunblader grinned at the memory and decided to go hassle Chickie.

Seifer found him in his room. Chickie was lying on his tummy, pillow wedged between folded arms and his sneakered feet hanging off the end of the bed. Seifer allowed himself to smile, just the once, at the door before he moved closer to Zell, leaning his knees on the end of the mattress between the martial artist's shins. 'Perfect,' Seifer thought. 'Just how I want him... minus the clothes.' Seifer debated for a moment how he was going to get Zell's clothes off without waking him but decided he didn't really have to. If he could slide one hand underneath Zell's body and under the waist band of his jeans he could have the martial artist wanting him before he even woke up.

With this in mind Seifer crept cat-like onto the bed. He nudged Zell's legs a little furthur apart before kneeling between them then began crawling over Zell's body, one hand on each side of him. Placing one forearm beside the smaller boy's head he put most of his weight on it before shifting his legs so they lay on either side of one of Zell's. He lowered his body gently so as not to wake the martial artist, making sure he wasn't really lying on top of Zell, his limbs were mainly keeping him up but there was still pressure applied against the other boy's back and arse. His right hand crept under Zell's waist, flipping open the button of his jeans and undoing the fly. Seifer was glad he'd worn Zell out earlier in the day, now the little blond was sleeping quite soundly.

Slipping his hand past Zell's waistband, Seifer reached into the other blond's boxer briefs. Upon the first fleeting touch he felt Zell's manhood harden quickly and a little moan escaped his lips. Seifer couldn't help himself and leant down slightly to capture the martial artist's breath in a quick kiss. However, Zell's teeth caught his bottom lip and one hand reached behind him to grab Seifer's lapels.

The gunblader smiled at this, Chickie could be so wanton when the fancy took him. Strange him being so sexy at the simplest touch. He wondered momentarily what the other boy was dreaming of, before he returned to the task at hand. Or *in* hand as the case may be. He began stroking Zell vigorously as his left hand tangled itself in Chickie's hair, massaging the boy's scalp as they kissed.

Beneath him the little blond began to try and roll over, so Seifer leant to one side and helped Zell turn onto his back, pulling him over by one shoulder. Once the boy was settled Seifer quickly went back to work on his hardening cock. The warmth between Zell's legs was making the taller boy want to wrap them around his waist and just wake Chickie up with a good fuck. He held back, if he did Zell a favour then the small blond would owe him. He might be more likely to get a fuck out of this, even if Zell was tired.

"Nnn," Zell moaned, his voice filled with desire.

Seifer leant closer, leaning most of his weight against the smaller boy as he struggled to complete Zell before freeing his own trapped erection from the confines of his trousers.

"Squall~" Zell breathed suddenly.

Seifer froze, his hands no longer caressing the other boy's body. Squall?

Beneath him Zell cracked one eye open and a mischievous grin spread across his face. "Don't stop. I was beginning to enjoy that, Seif."

The gunblader removed his hand from down Zell's trousers. "You little shit," he began, glaring. "How long have you been awake?"

"Since you came in the room," Zell replied. He folded his arms behind his head and smirked down at Seifer. "You gunna finish what you started?"

Seifer glanced down at Zell's undone trousers, at the erection trapped there and felt himself get harder. He could pay Zell back for teasing him later, he figured. So he rid them both of their restricting clothing and, leaning down, caught Zell's mouth with his own. Running his tongue gently over the other boy's he felt a sense of familiarity all of a sudden. He supposed spending a whole morning naked in a bed with one another explained that away.

Zell smirked into the kiss, it was nice knowing this thing he had with Seifer was at least moderately personal, if it weren't he wouldn't have been so upset about him moaning Squall's name. He giggled lightly as Seifer slid his cold hand over the martial artist's chest. He'd only mentioned Squall to see what Seifer thought of their relationship. Obviously he liked to know it was Zell he was fucking and this made the little blond a lot more secure.

"Seif?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah?" Seifer replied into Zell's hair. He was moderately surprised the other boy had come up with a shortened name for him already. At least it was better than 'Sefie'. The gunblader shuddered slightly at the memory. Stupid Rinoa.

Zell frowned. "What was that for?"

"Memory," Seifer explained, wanting to leave it at that, but he should have known Zell wouldn't give up that easily.

"Of what?" Zell tangled a hand in Seifer's hair and pulled lightly so he could see the other boy's eyes.

"Something I don't care to remember. Now do you mind if we get down to business instead of having this fucking D&M? Or would you rather we just paint each other's toenails then have a pillow fight?"

Zell narrowed his eyes. "Last time I show concern for you, fuckhead."

"Good," Seifer snapped. "I'm not here for your fucking concern, Chickie. You know why I'm here."

Zell scowled. "Well, you can just fuck off home again," he replied. Not that he wasn't in the mood for a little fooling around but he wasn't sure he wanted to fuck tonight.

Seifer held his gaze for a few moments as they each waited for the other to back down. When it became clear to Seifer that Zell wouldn't he decided a little manipulation and perhaps compromise on both their parts was in order.

"Ok," he said quietly. "Do you mind if I stay anyway?"

Zell frowned. Was Seifer playing with him? He thought about the high probabality of this for a second before deciding he didn't care if he was, where was the harm in sharing his bed?

"If you wanna," he replied. "But don't you try anything."

Seifer restrained the smirk of triumph and tried to smile honestly. He hadn't done that since he was about four. He couldn't remember how. He settled for nuzzling into the side of Zell's neck and licking gently underneath his jaw. The little blond closed his eyes and arched his neck to let Seifer get better access.

"I know I just said not to try anything," Zell said. "But I think I just changed my mind."

Seifer laughed, a strange, almost strangled sound like he wasn't sure how it was done. Zell wondered, strangely, if Seifer was ticklish.

The gunblader smirked against the softness of Zell's neck, he knew if he played his cards right he could get some action out of the other boy tonight. It might not be actual intercourse but Zell tasted nice too so it wasn't too much of a compromise. So he kissed the fading love bite on Zell's neck gently and murmured in the martial artist's ear but Zell couldn't understand what he said. Instead he commented on the hickey.

"You didn't suck as hard this morning," Zell commented with a cheeky grin.

"Mmm," Seifer replied. "You struggled too much."

Zell shrugged. He wasn't going to give in to Seifer any time soon, and if that meant he had to fight, fine. Trouble was the sex'd probably be even *better* if he just let Seifer do his thing. But that meant letting go of control, and that was no fun. Fighting was an essential part of their relationship, once he gave into Seifer in the bedroom he would essentially be giving in to him everywhere.

'Though that said what he's doing with his tongue right now is *very* nice.'

In a moment of softness Seifer ran his thumb down Zell's neck, watching the path it took, pleased at the way the smaller boy moved to accomodate him. Zell shivered slightly as Seifer's breath ran over his shoulder, then down his chest. As he did so a hand ran beneath his thigh, stroking the muscle as the older blond kissed his hip gently. When Zell moved his hand to stroke Seifer's cheek the other boy caught it in his own and kissed the palm, running his tongue over the salty skin and up to his wrist. There he bit lightly on the tendons before pulling away to watch as his hand turned Zell's over. All the while Seifer's other hand had been running all over Zell's body; touching, poking, massaging.

"What are you doing?" Zell asked curiously but made no move to stop him.

"Exploring," Seifer replied, running a finger over Zell's ribs. "I didn't have the time to do this last time."

"Hmm," Zell sighed and closed his eyes again. "Is nice. I think I'll just go to sleep."

Seifer scowled and shook his head at the younger blond but kept going. It was too nice to stop. He wondered for a moment or two if Zell actually felt safe enough around him to go to sleep knowing Seifer could do anything to his body if he wanted, but soon dismissed it. He wouldn't hurt Zell. What he wanted wasn't control but attention, positive attention. He scowled and pinched the skin on Zell's side lightly, he was beginning to think like Quistis.

He grew bored of Zell's chest after a little while, deciding he wanted to know what the other side looked like. So he lay on his side beside the smaller blond before pulling him over onto his side as well. Once Zell was snuggled against his chest Seifer ran one finger down the martial artist's spine. He shivered and clutched Seifer's chest tighter. The gunblader grinned, Zell was very responsive. Next he pressed his thumb into the muscles along Zell's spine, he whimpered a little at this and murmured happily when Seifer began to kiss his shoulder.

The gunblader paused for a moment to consider what else he could do to take advantage of this nice opportunity that had presented itself to him but when he looked down at Zell curled in his arms, snoring lightly, he suddenly realised he was asleep. With a patient sigh that sound so unlike Seifer Almasy the older boy kissed his hair gently, and ran one hand over the firm, smooth skin on Zell's back and hip. He really was pretty damn cute.

Author's Note

I hope this chapter explains why in Chapter 3 Seifer = sadist and Zell= masochist. It's because they're so used to fighting they take it to the bedroom too. Neither will back down so someone ends up getting hurt. They'll learn to compromise. They'll find a balance where Seifer doesn't have to hurt stuff and people to be right and Zell doesn't have to take on everyone else's problems as his own. He does that I've noticed. This also flows from the idea of it being awkward and uncomfortable the first time around. (I've thought about this *way* too much :D)

Hope this explains stuff and gives a little hint of where I'm going with this idea. Sorry this update took so much longer than the others. I hope to have another one (or two) written over Easter.

Also, all up it's looking like it'll be 20-21 chapters long. Maybe more if I have more ideas. Thanks for the reviews again. All praise, and (constructive) criticism is greatly appreciated.

Song: 'Engel' by Rammstein.
The translation may be wrong but I had a look around and looked it up in my dictionary and this sounded the most plausible so I used it. But I don't speak German very well so if I'm wrong please let me know.

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