Object of My Lust
Many may think that I despise Squall Leonhart. To an extent, that may be true. Ever since we were little kids, Squall and I were always getting into it. I'd tease him; I'd taunt him. That was the only way I'd get him to notice me. I needed to be the center of attention. It was the only thing that assured me that I existed.
After the Ultimecia incident, I swallowed my pride and returned to Balamb Garden. I hadn't planned on staying there. In fact, I returned to extend apologies to the headmaster, and the ice prince himself. What happened after that took me completely by surprise. Headmaster Cid asked me to return to Garden. It seemed that after the attack - which I led - between Balamb Garden and Sorceress Edea, they were short-handed on SeeD's, and SeeD candidates. Who was I to deprive them of my superior skills? I had nothing better to do with my time, anyway.
The first few months were annoying as hell. It seemed no one believed that Ultimecia had controlled me. You know what I had to say about that? Fuck them. My romantic dream had been to serve as the sorceress's knight - it hadn't been to be strung along like a puppet.
Squall and his friends surprisingly understood, though. Quistis and the messenger girl actually smiled and gave me a hug. Chicken-wuss shook my hand, and the cowboy nodded in acknowledgement. Then there was Rinoa and Squall. Rin was holding onto Squall's arm, and she smiled at me warmly, while Squall did nothing but stare at me. After a moment, he finally said, "Seifer" and that was it. I guess it was his way of accepting my apology.
Fujin and Raijin returned with me as well. They didn't get as much heat from the other students as I did, but there were still a few that hated them, too. In an act of revenge, the three of us formed the Disciplinary Committee again. We handed out violations left and right.
That wasn't my problem, though. The way I see things is, the past is the past. No matter how much you wish things would be different, there's nothing you can do about it.
My problem was Squall.
I wanted him.
I'm not a flaming homo; I don't have rainbow stickers covering my dorm-room; I don't walk with a limp; and I sure as hell don't dress up as a girl. I was bisexual. Simple, eh?
I don't know what made me want him so much. It's not that I hadn't found him good-looking up until now. Someone would have to be blind to not find Squall attractive. Those pouty, full lips were always begging to be sucked on. His storm-colored eyes were naturally seductive-looking. That dark, chocolate hair was always begging to be pulled. And that lithe, creamy body just screamed, "Fuck me!" with every movement.
I don't know what changed my perspective on him. Maybe it was because we were no longer at each other's throats. After the Ultimecia incident, it seemed everyone had grown up because of it - including me. I admit, I can't resist teasing Chicken-wuss from time to time; or picking on Squall, just to get him to look at me. But it was different now; there was no malice, or seriousness to the teasing, or taunting. It was just. . . all in good fun, I guess.
I sat in the cafeteria watching Squall and Rinoa from across the room. They sat here every afternoon, sharing lunch with each other. Rinoa was talking and smiling, while Squall sat there quietly, smiling occasionally to let her know that he was paying attention. His smile was small; a slight curl at the corners of his lips. Before the war, I had never seen Squall Leonhart crack a smile. Rinoa easily brought it out of him, though.
Jealousy didn't even begin to describe what I felt towards Rinoa. It's true that we dated once, but it had never been anything serious. I just couldn't understand how she managed to get Squall. As far as I knew, Squall was a-sexual. What made him look twice in her general direction?
I have nothing against Rinoa. Really. I don't. I just want to know how she managed to melt an iceberg.
"Seifer! Hello? Anyone in there?"
I blinked when I felt someone knocking, literally, on the top of my head.
"Huh?" I asked intelligently.
"Geez," Selphie said as she pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. Her chestnut-colored hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she cocked her head to the side as she examined me. "You were having a Squall moment there, Seif. Should I be worried?"
"Shut the hell up," I replied. "What are you doing here?"
Selphie tried to look offended, but it didn't work very well. "I was looking for you," she said. "The Headmaster said it'd be ok if I started a radio show inside of Garden, so I was wondering if you had any CD's I could borrow."
"No," I answered without even thinking about it.
"Awww, come on! I won't do anything to it," she said.
"Too bad. Fu already informed me of the Screeching Weasel CD she leant you," I said. "How did the CD end up in a pile of Grat shit?" I paused for a second, and then said, "Never-mind. I don't want to know."
Selphie huffed and said, "It was an accident! How many times do I need to say that?"
"Say what?" said a new voice. I looked up to see that Squall and Rinoa had joined us. My eyes flickered across the lazy arm Squall had wrapped around Rinoa's waist. It didn't look right. Now, if it had been my arm wrapped around his waist. . .
"Rin, do you have any CD's I can borrow?" Selphie asked. "Seifer's being a dick, and he won't loan me any of his CD's."
"The headmaster allowed you to start a radio show?" Squall asked, obviously knowing about her 'radio show'.
"Yep!" Selphie beamed. "Anyone wanna help me?"
Everyone looked away at that. I snickered and leaned back against my chair. "Selph, you really need to lay off of the caffeine."
"Like smoking is any better." She stuck out her tongue at me and turned towards Rinoa.
I didn't pay attention to what they were talking about. My gaze traveled over to Squall, who was nibbling on his lower lip, and looking at the door to the cafeteria.
Hyne, he was gorgeous. He was wearing his usual bomber jacket, white-shirt, and leather pants. His hair was in disarray, and his slim form started talking to me.
"Fuck me," It said. "You know you want to."
I shook my head and looked up at Squall's face.
He's too pretty to be with Rinoa. He needs someone strong - someone who can hold him down and dominate him. That tight little ass needed swift de-virginizing.
Then, I noticed his stormy-gaze fixed on the bathroom door. He hadn't been looking at the doorway, as I had thought. The slight trembling in his body would have been left unnoticed, had I not been examining him so closely.
Awww, someone needed to go pee-pee.
Squall looked like a little boy caught between going to the bathroom, and letting go of his mothers hand. It was as if he were afraid that if he let go, his mother would be gone.
"Does Squally need to go poo-pee?" I asked him.
He looked at me, startled. And then he glared at me.
"I'll be right back," he muttered to Rinoa.
"Why are you such a prick to him?" Rinoa asked when Squall began walking briskly to the bathroom.
"Seifer's always a prick," Selphie answered, "he's just paranoid about his dick being smaller than Squall's."
"And you're just paranoid about my chest being bigger than yours," I replied with a fake smile, "Why even bother wearing a bra, Selph? It doesn't support anything."
Selphie smacked me on the arm, hard. The smile on my face didn't waver when she smacked me again.
"Hey, hey, hey," Irvine said as he walked up to our table, "what's with all the violence?"
"Seifer said I have a flat chest," Selphie informed him.
Irvine raised an eyebrow. Then a lecherous smile spread over his features. "Why don't you take off your dress and let me be the judge of that?"
Rinoa rolled her eyes, saying, "Oh brother" under her breath.
Ladies man, my ass. He tries too hard, I thought.
I looked up when I noticed Squall making his way back towards us. He was staring at the ground, causing his chocolate-colored hair to cover his face. For the millionth-time, I wondered how he and Rinoa managed to hook up. He's too. . . too. . . I don't know. I would ask the others what happened, but that would rouse too much suspicion. I mean yeah, I wanted Squall. But no one else needed to know that.
"I need to get back to work," Squall told Rinoa quietly.
"Ok," Rinoa answered, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, and returning to the conversation at the table. I raised an eyebrow when a - somewhat - hurt expression crossed Squall's features.
What the hell?
Why would that hurt him?
I watched as Squall retreated from the table quietly. No one seemed to notice except for me.
I stood from my chair, causing the steel legs to scrap against the floor, and followed Squall out of the cafeteria. I could hear Selphie shouting, "Where are you going?", but I didn't bother to answer her.
I caught up with Squall within seconds. I announced my presence by smacking him on the back of his head.
Squall spun around, rubbing his head, and glared at me.
"Seifer," he said warningly.
"What? Are you afraid of the big, bad wolf?" I asked, "You needed Rinoa to hold your hand to your office?"
For the second time that day, Squall looked startled.
"You know that your relationship with her won't work out, right?" I inquired, "I mean, lets face it: you're both from different ends of the planet."
". . . Are you going to take her from me?" he asked quietly.
"Naw, I always share my toys," I said.
I think I said something wrong, because Squall's fist connected with my jaw before I could blink. The coppery-taste of blood filled my mouth. As I turned my head back to face him, I ran my tongue along my lip, noting a cut when a shot of pain flashed through me.
I smiled, wiping some blood off of my lip with the back of my hand.
"Is that all you got, Squall?" I asked. The smile on my face never wavered.
Squall narrowed his eyes, and said, through gritted teeth, "Don't talk about Rinoa like that."
I laughed; a loud, humorless laugh.
"You're enjoying my leftovers that much?" I asked.
I knew Squall wanted to hit me again. He was standing rigidly. His arms were at his sides, and his hands were clenched into fists.
"Leave me alone," he growled.
"And if I don't?"
Squall looked up, and his stormy eyes met mine.
"I'll kill you," he answered.
He spun on his heel and marched away angrily. A part of me was saying to kick his ass, right there, right now; while the other part was saying to shut the hell up before I made things even worse. Eventually, I swallowed my pride and sucked in a deep breath.
"That didn't go very well," I muttered to myself. I chased after him under the intention of finding out what was wrong, but. . . I just can't help myself sometimes. I need to learn how to butter Squall up. Then I can fuck him until he can't walk straight and sit down.
At eleven o'clock at night, I snuck out of the Garden and headed for the beach. I often came here after hours to drink on the beach, and look at the stars. In my trench-coat pocket, I had a flask filled with 'REDRUM', and a pack of cigarettes. After Time Compression, I picked up the habit of smoking and drinking. I think anyone in my situation would've done the same.
When I arrived at the beach, I sat on one of the bluffs and pulled out my cigarettes, and my flask. I took a swig of the REDRUM and savored the sweet, burning taste that washed down my throat, before lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply. Most of the time I come here at night to try and get my head together. I spent most of the time ignoring my feelings towards the Ultimecia incident, but that didn't seem to chase the depression away. It was relaxing to sit on the beach and drink. I felt isolated from the world.
I killed my cigarette when I heard footsteps heading towards me. On instinct, I ducked behind a shrub of bushes and looked around.
There, standing near the shoreline, a slim figure was watching ocean. It didn't take me long to recognize who it was; I had been watching his every movement for several weeks now.
I looked around for Rinoa, but noted with satisfaction that he was alone.
What was he doing here?
I crouched down on my knees, and watched as Squall began to remove his boots. When they were off, he kicked them to the side and shrugged off his bomber jacket. I watched with rapt attention as he began tugging his shirt over his head, revealing his ivory-colored skin, and lean muscles. I thanked Hyne for the bright moonlight, which enveloped Squall in its silvery embrace. A part of me thought Squall was crazy for taking off his shirt - the night was cold, and I could see a slight tremble go through his body - while the other part enjoyed the display of Squall's firm chest.
I roamed hungry eyes up and down Squall's body. It was strange how his hips had a slight curve to them, before moving up into a v-like shape. I took in every detail, logging them away for a lonely night.
I felt my eyes grow large when Squall's fingers dropped to his pants. My eyes weren't the only parts of my body that grew large when he began tugging his pants down his legs.
Maybe Squall wasn't such a little boy after all. Either that or he's like any other boy, and he does naughty things when mommy isn't looking.
Squall had slender legs; almost shapely like a woman's. I cursed myself for not carrying binoculars with me. From where I was hiding, it looked as though Squall shaved his legs. . .
My eyes roamed up, past his knees, and to his thighs. They were creamy, and milky-white, just like the other parts of his body. As my eyes traveled up even more, I felt myself fully harden when I realized Squall wasn't wearing any underwear. I didn't bother to question why he was standing on the beach completely naked. All I cared about was the free show he was putting on just for me.
Taking a step towards the water, Squall trembled when the water washed over his feet. I could see him bite his lip as he took a couple of steps forward.
Hyne, is he crazy? The water is freezing cold!
Squall's features twisted into a grimace when he was in knee-length. Then, without warning, he dove beneath the surface. I watched the water move around him as he swam out further. When he broke through the surface, my pants were extremely too tight, and I found myself unzipping my pants.
Rivulets of water cascaded down Squall's body. Each droplet glittered against the bright moonlight, bathing Squall in what appeared to be liquid diamonds. His slender neck was tilted back; beads of water trickled down his chest; and his arms were raised above his head, running his fingers through his dark hair.
My breath became heavy as I wrapped a hand around my stiff cock. I couldn't believe how much of an effect Squall had on me, but I was as hard as a rock, and I longed, more than ever, to bury myself inside of his body.
I watched as he swam around, stroking myself firmly. Mentally, I had the picture of Squall's naked-form in my mind. I wondered what he would look like in the throes of passion. I could imagine the sounds he would make; soft whimpers, and loud cries. I wanted him so badly. . . I tightened my hand around my cock, imagining Squall's swan-like fingers in its place. I could almost see him, crouched in front of me, dripping wet, and stroking my cock. My eyes fell shut as pleasure washed through me. In my mind, Squall continued to stroke me, and my eyes were fixed on his delicate fingers wrapped around my arousal.
I re-opened my eyes when I heard the splash of water. Squall was coming out of the water, dripping water all over the place. The diamond-like beads dribbled down his body, causing my hand to start stroking faster. He had turned his back to me, bending over to pick up his clothes. The firm, round globes of his ass beckoned me. It took considerable willpower not to jump out of the bushes and take him in that position.
I gave my arousal one last hard stroke, and I came, shooting my cum all over my hand. I panted hard, feeling the trembles of orgasm wash over me. I looked down at my hand and saw the white of my cum coating it. When I looked back up to see the last moments of Squall's nakedness, I came face-to-face with the object of my lust.
To be continued. . .
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