I will always love you
Author’s notes: Story is from Zell’s pov but the song that comes in near the end is from Seifer’s pov. If that makes sense. So when Zell thinks stuff, the song tells you how Seifer feels.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine and neither is the game if it was then Rinoa would have died in the game.
I will always love you
The waves crashed on the shore, they were quite big for that time of night. The full moon reflected down on the turbulent ocean. The sky was full of stars; it was a beautiful night.
I stood in front of the sea, the waves lapping at my bare feet. The spring air felt cold on my skin, and the water was freezing on my feet but I didn’t care. I glanced back at the old orphanage. This place had been my home for nearly a year now. Times are hard now. I haven’t seen my friends and family for over a year. If I went home, I wouldn’t be able to risk coming back here, because if anyone followed me they would find Seifer and he would be executed. I could never betray him like that.
My life’s a mess; I’d never tell my lover that though, he feels guilty enough as it is.
He seems to think he’s ruined my life by forcing me to stay here, but I stay because I love him, I’ve lost count at the number of times I’ve told him that.
I often wondered how Garden was, if they were still looking for me, if the Galbadians still wanted to see Seifer dead or if they wouldn’t notice if he turned up again.
I know SeeD did look for me, they came here. Squall was in charge; Irvine, Quistis, Selphie and Nida were with him. I watched them whisper about me as they searched for clues in what I called the rubble room and they looked through our bed. I know Seifer expected me to leave him then, he told me he loved me and ran off to hide in the lighthouse without waiting for me. I hid among the rocks on the beach so I could watch them until they left. As soon as they were gone, I ran back to the lighthouse, to my lover. He needs me, he would fall apart without me and I knew if I went back to Balamb I would pine for Seifer; I need him.
I look up at the moon with tears in my eyes. It hurts to be away from my friends and family but my life isn’t ruined like Seifer thinks. It’s my choice, I followed my heart and my heart belongs to Seifer.
I jumped slightly as arms snaked around my waist and a naked chest is pressed to my back. I didn’t hear his footsteps on the wet sand. He nuzzled his face into my hair. My angst suddenly left me, I’m always happy around Seifer no matter what the circumstances. Without him I would feel empty. I’ve never been without Seifer except during the Sorceress’ War, but that wasn’t his fault.
I’m sure Squall would take Seifer back at Garden, even if it were only for my sake. I sighed and leaned back relaxing against my lover. He easily takes my weight, holding me.
"You’re cold."
I smiled slightly.
The winter was hard to get through. Being right by the coast, it was bitterly cold, especially at night. The orphanage had no glass in the windows or electricity. We barely moved on the worst days. Both of us lay in bed, curled up together under a thick blanket. Now that summer was coming, I was glad that there was no glass in the windows. Centra was very hot in the summer.
"It’s a nice sort of cold." I replied.
The day had been a bit too hot for comfort, which was why we both had bare chests and feet. I had spent most of the day in the water, which was still cool.
"It’s a nice night isn’t it?" I didn’t want Seifer to know I was thinking about going back, but I knew he’d ask.
"What’s the matter? You’re too quiet."
"Nothing. I’m just thinking."
His arms tightened around me and I felt him go still against my back. He suspected.
"Winter was hard on us, huh? It’s a bit different to Balamb." He sighed. I knew what was coming.
"Zell, you don’t have to stay here..."
I cut him off. "I’m sure you’ll be safe at Balamb, Squall is one of my best friends, he won’t turn you away, I know he won’t."
"I can’t go, but you can. It’s selfish of me to ask you to stay."
"I want to stay."
"No you don’t, not anymore. If you did then you wouldn’t keep thinking of ways to go back"
He was right. I didn’t want to stay here, but I would do anything to stay close to Seifer, I would follow him to the ends of the earth.
"Leave this place. You deserve better. You haven’t done anything wrong, you shouldn’t be punished. You can have your friends and family back. Forget me, move on."
Forget Seifer? Was that possible?
"Come with me. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise."
"You want to go?"
"Yes, but not without you."
He walked away from me and down the beach a little. "You would be happy back at Garden?"
I nodded. "With you."
He gave a sad smile, and I knew he still believed he would be killed for serving the Sorceress and nothing I said would have convinced him otherwise.
"Fine." He said at last.
I stared at him. Did he just say he would go back with me? Why? If he thinks he will be killed... Then I realized. He would risk his own life to take me home, to see me happy. My heart broke.
"Thank you." Was all I said. I should have said more but I couldn’t.
That night was our last night together, although I didn’t know it. He held me all night.
~If I should stay, I would only be in your way~
~So I’ll go, but I know~
~I’ll think of you every step of the way~
I woke up to find to the other side of the bed empty, which was unusual. I walked out to the top of the stone staircase that lend to the beach. I looked up and down the sands; there was no sign of him. I didn’t believe it at first. I went through the whole house and the lighthouse, looking for any trace of him. He was gone.
~And I will always love you~
~Will always love you~
I found a note beside our bed. I still have it till this day; it’s all I have left of him.
The note read:
I’m sorry.
It’s better this way; you can go home to your friends and family without me to worry about.
All I want is for you to be happy, even if I never see you again.
I will ALWAYS love you.
~My darling you~
~Bitter sweet memories, that is all I’m taking with me~
~So goodbye, please don’t cry.~
~We both know I’m not what you need~
I read the short note over and over as I sit in my dorm room at Garden.
Two years. I’m twenty now, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
I have my friends back, but I’m far from happy. I’m so lonely.
I still dream about him, I still love him, I will always love him. It hurts, all my friends are happy. Squall’s getting married. I’m not going to the wedding, don’t think I can.
~I hope life treats you kind~
~And I hope you have all you dreamed of~
~And I wish you joy and happiness~
~But above all else I wish you love~
The ironic thing is everyone thought Seifer and I were dead and no one wants to kill him. He’s been forgiven and he’s not here to see it. They want him to be alive; I want him to be alive.
I’m changed. I write a lot now; I’ve got loads of dairies. I write about my dreams, I know it sounds strange but Seifer’s in them so I want to remember them.
I still believe I’ll see him again, I have to believe. I’m holding on to that thought, it’s all that keeps me sane.
"Zell let’s go."
I have a mission to the Centra ruins.
I put the pen down on my writing, I’ll finish it later.
~And I will always love you~
~I will always love you~
Notes: Already writing a sequel to this, as I like a happy ending.