For His Love
When the initial shock began to subside, Squall relaxed a bit. Zell sensed his acquiescence immediately, but didn’t dare to hope it would last beyond this kiss. Wanting to get even closer to Zell, Squall arched his back, his hips rocking toward Zell instinctively. Still stroking Squall’s tongue with his own, Zell released his hold on Squall’s wrists, letting his hand slide down his lover’s body. He felt like heaven, all hard angles and planes, but his skin was like velvet.
Squall kept his arms raised, unsure of what to do. This is insane. We shouldn’t be doing this. No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than Zell’s hands were easing down his back to settle on his ass, obliterating any other thoughts he may have had. Squall’s intake of breath seemed to further excite Zell and he pulled Squall tight against him, insinuating his thigh between Squall’s.
When Zell lifted his knee higher, Squall slid down on his thigh and the sensation of Zell rubbing against his erection combined with the pressure of Zell’s hands on his ass proved to be his undoing. His kisses became more demanding, and he brought his hands up between them to rest on Zell’s still bare chest. One of his hands slipped lower to rest at the waistband of Zell’s shorts. Zell broke the kiss briefly to nip at Squall’s lips, his jawline, his neck. Hooking one finger in Zell’s waistband, Squall leaned his head back and began to moan softly. His other hand slid up Zell’s chest, over his shoulder and up his neck to tangle his hand in the spiky blonde hair.
Zell moved one hand to the front of Squall’s pants and began to unbutton the leather. His face was buried in the crook of Squall’s neck as he worked frantically to push the tight leather off of Squall’s hips. His breathing was ragged as he fumbled with the buttons, and Squall was making those noises, driving him closer to the edge.
"…was sure Squall would bring him here…" Zell heard Rinoa’s voice and froze.
"I know he did, Rin, why don’t we check Zell’s room, I’m sure Dr. Kadowaki sent Zell to rest." Quistis’ voice was cajoling, trying to convince Rinoa to leave the infirmary with her. And in all honesty, she didn’t know why she should get Rinoa away from here, but the look on Squall’s face when Zell went down gave Quistis a chill down her spine. Still unsure of what had passed between them, it was a certainty that Squall did not want Rinoa being witness to it.
At the sound of her voice, Squall sidestepped Zell and quickly began to adjust his pants. He kept his eyes downcast as he straightened his clothes and ran a hand through his hair. He knew if he looked at Zell, he would see his eyes glazed with desire, his lips swollen, his bare, perfectly sculpted chest rising and falling in his excitement, and definitely the tell tale bulge in his shorts. Turning to go, Squall paused at the examining room’s curtain. His voice was low, husky. "Don’t follow me, Zell…just….just don’t." With that he pulled open the curtain and stepped out. Rinoa and Quistis were upon him immediately, Rinoa peering around Squall in an effort to see inside the room. "Is Zell alright, Squall?" she inquired, her concern genuine. Squall nodded casually. "He’ll be okay, just needs to relax for a bit. He’s still pretty worked up. Quistis, why don’t you stay with him awhile just to make sure he doesn’t go hunting trouble." Quistis nodded, her expression somber. "Of course. You guys get back outside, I’ll see to Zell." She glanced covertly at Rinoa to find her staring into Squall’s face, relief in her eyes. "Tell him we’ll all see him a little later." Rinoa said, not even looking at Quistis. She smiled at Squall, happy to have him at her side again. Like you’re interested in anything but having Squall’s attention again. Quistis thought. Then she felt petty in her assumptions. Of course Rinoa was worried about Zell, she just couldn’t take her thoughts away from Squall for more than a few minutes at a time. And with that realization came another. I’m jealous. I want what she has. I want to feel that way about someone again. Shaking the traitorous thoughts away, Quistis looked up at Squall to indicate that he should be on his way, but she was too late. His retreating footsteps heavy on the white tile, Rinoa at his back, Squall was wasting no time in getting out of the infirmary.
Groaning inwardly, Quistis moved to the curtain and called out tentatively, "Zell?" At first she received no answer, but several seconds passed and he bade her enter. "In here."
She pulled the flimsy curtain aside and saw Zell sitting at the window, his back to her. His shoulders were slumped, his chin rested in the palm of his hand. He looked….defeated. She approached him cautiously. "Zell? Is…is everything alright?" Zell shook his head, his back still facing her. He rubbed his hand over his face. "No…it’s not." His voice was muffled, but she heard him nonetheless. She couldn’t ever remember seeing Zell like this. Something was terribly wrong.
Quistis stood by his side, barely breathing, unsure of what to say. She watched his wide shoulders rise and fall with each steadying breath he took. His hidden struggle for composure was plainly visible to Quistis, and still unsure of what she was going to say, she lowered herself onto the bed beside Zell.
She reached over and took his hand into hers. "Zell? Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?" He shook his head in answer, but gripped her hand tightly within his own. She watched his face in profile, his mouth was drawn, his eyes unblinking. She reached her other hand over to rest on the back of his neck where she began to stroke his soft hair gently. His eyes closed slowly, as if he were savoring her touch.
After what seemed like an eternity, Zell turned to face Quistis, his bright eyes meeting her tranquil ones. He tried to smile at her, but only managed to make himself look sad. Quistis lowered his eyes to his mouth, his lips slightly open, his breathing beginning to slow down a bit.
"Are you going to be all right?" Quistis wasn’t going to insist that he tell her what was going on. He was obviously at a loss for words. But then, he surprised her. "I have something to tell you Quisty." He paused, searching for the right words. She didn’t prompt him, just waited patiently for him to continue.
He sighed deeply and turned his face away from her. The afternoon sunlight cast a long shadow across the room, concealing his expression. "I don’t really know how to say this. No matter how I word it it will come out wrong, so…" Quistis smiled her sweet smile. "Is it Squall?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. The knowing tone of her voice made Zell raise his eyes to hers once again. "Yes," he whispered back. She nodded sagely. "I thought so." At first Zell felt comforted by her quick understanding, but it was quickly replaced by fear as a new thought occurred to him. "Oh no. If you figured it out so easily…" His voice trailed off, the horror catching his words in his throat.
Quistis was quick to reassure him. "No, Zell, it’s not obvious. We all love Squall. He’s our hero. I’m just more perceptive than most and I know the two of you very very well, remember that. I’ve been watching you two today, and I knew this morning that something was definitely going on." This calmed Zell, somewhat. "I don’t know where to start. I guess I’ll start with last night. I was going to his room to see if he wanted to train for a while. He wasn’t alone." His voice had changed, bitterness seeping in. "I never even thought she would be there, I saw her leave his room. I wanted to kill her."
Quistis watched his face, looking for a hint of the violence in his words. There was none. He looked up to catch the surprise in her eyes. He smiled bitterly. "I would never hurt her Quistis, you know that. But to see her leave his room, that smile on her face…It just about laid me open to the bone, you know?" Quistis didn’t respond, but he knew she was listening all the same.
Zell shrugged, continued. "Long story short, I almost told him everything. All of it. What’s been keeping me going these past few years." Quistis blinked, "Well, why didn’t you? You had your chance. What happened?"
Zell groaned, the weariness in his soul surfacing. "He knew, Quisty. He already knew. Couldn’t get out of there fast enough…and so I let him go."
She rubbed his back, up and down, feeling his body tremble. She closed her eyes, feeling his misery as close to her heart as her own. Didn’t she know what it was like to want? To ache for someone with every fiber of her being. Oh yes I do, Zell, yes I do.
She leaned against him, hugging him close. "It’ll be okay Zell, I promise you that." She felt him sigh. "No it won’t Quisty, not after today." She knew what he was talking about without him having to tell her anything. When Squall had stumbled out from behind that curtain, she had read him like a book. As clueless as Rinoa would continue to be, Quistis could see right through him. She chuckled softly and Zell sat back to look at her in disbelief. "How can you find this to be funny?" He asked incredulously. She shook her head slightly. "Oh, no, Zell, it’s not that. I meant it when I said it would be okay. I’m not just trying to comfort you." He narrowed his eyes at her. "What do you know that I don’t?"
She ruffled his spiky hair and smiled. "Because my dear, whatever you did to Squall in here did something that none of us have managed to accomplish, including darling Rinoa." Zell looked at her in confusion. She stood, offering her hand to Zell to pull him up. "It seems the Commissioner is made of stone in more ways than one." Zell raised an eyebrow at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Quistis pulled on Zell’s hand, leading toward the room’s entrance. She paused at the door, looking mischievously over her shoulder. "He walked out of here with the biggest hard on I’ve ever seen in my entire life."
Author's Notes: *sorry this is so short guys…the next one will be longer~I swear!!! Oh, yes…and for those of you who don’t like yucky old yaoi.…DON’T READ THEM!!!!! Best advice I can give ya…..
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