Warnings: POV, Angst, Language, het referances

Author's note: here's a songfic I thought up, first up sorry to all Squall fans and lesser extent Seifer (you'lls see later on).

Disclaimer: Squaresoft own FF8, the song is by the very talented Dido and I have about 20 to my name, so suing me would be, well, a waste of money

Don't Think Of Me

by Black Gem

 

So you're with her not with me
I hope she sweet and so pretty
I hear she cooks delighfully
A little angel besides you

 

I thought we might actually have something, for once in my life, someone might love me, for me, not just a good fuck or an image, yeah right, as if anyone would want me just for me. Even so, I hoped, esspecially up there in the clock tower, I'd totally lost it, you saw how much of a pitifull coward I was, but you didn't turn away, you gave me the strength to make that shot, even if it meant I would kill matron the woman who raised us.

 

So you're with her, not with me
Oh how lucky one man can be
I hear your house is sparkling clean
Oh how lovely with your homecoming queen
Oh how lovely it must be

 

I should have really seen it coming, I mean you were all over her. You even went as far as treking half way accross the planet then being sent into outer-space, all for her. Would you have done that for me? Probably not.

 

When you see her sweet smile baby
Don't think of me
When she lies in your warm arms
Don't think of me

 

Do you really love her? That's all I want to know, do you love her? Or are you just running away? Running away, now there's something I know a lot about, it's all I've ever done in my life, using meaningless sex to try and fill a void inside me, never actually opening my heart. You're the first one you know, the first one I actually said I love you to and meant it, the first one who even came close to breaking the shell and filling the void, guess I was wrong, maybe I should just stick to being a whore, it hurts less than this

 

So you're with her, not with me
I hear she spreads sweet honey
In fact your best friend I heard he spent
Last night with her
Now how do you feel

 

I wonder if you know she's still fucking Seifer? I wonder if he knows she's also fucking you? Most likely, fucking her is probably the closest he'll ever get to you. I've seen the way he looks at you, he wants you, everyone seems to want you, except the one who has you. Do you know? I doubt it, and I'm certainly not gonna be the one to tell you.

 

When you see her sweet smile baby
Don't think of me
When she lies in your warm arms
Don't think of me

 

Does she satisfy you? No wait, don't answer that, if she did you wouldn't still come to me. Do you know how it feels to be used, to have everything taken from you yet nothing ever given back. No of course not, you wouldn't, you're too strong for that, you'd never let someone dominate you like that.

 

Does it bother you now
All the mess I made
Does it bother you now
The things you told me not to wear

 

You never really accepted me for me, once you got past the mask, to see the real person, you didn't like it. I don't really blame you, I wouldn't like me, but why did you constantly have to try and change me, you couldn't just accept the way I am.

 

Does it bother you now
All the angry games we played
Does it bother you now
That I'm not there

 

You know what, fuck you Squall, no wait, that's right I can't you never let me. You'd never bring yourself down to be uke. I heard somewhere that someone's GF reflects their personality, and you know what? Shiva really suits you. I may not like me, but I've accepted now that I am what I am and I'll do what I want, if you can't accept it too, then there really is no chance for us. Are you happy with her? I hope so, for your sake, because you won't have another chance with me

Fin

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