Obligatory Disclaimer: The characters belong to JK Rowling (although I don't think she quite saw them in this way) without permission and without malice. While I wish I could make money off of it, none is being earned and this piece is strictly for entertainment purposes; suing me would be pointless as I have no assets except my mind and I dare you to try and get it. The original story line this one follows (with permission) is "Pledges" by Amireal and I have tried to maintain the storyline continuity and to establish some fixed-action patterns (a fancy psych term for habits) for our ironic, errant professor and his irrepressible, but sometimes overenthusiastic husband. I tried to write the story as a stand alone piece , but if you are confused (or even if you're not), I would suggest you read the most excellent "Pledges" before this one as the story is set wholly in Amireal's World, many, many years in the future.
Author's Notes:This story is set wholly in Amireal's World, many, many years in the future and concerns the continuation of the relationship of our ironic, errant professor and his irrepressible, but sometimes overenthusiastic husband. Amireal has written a lovely love story and you really should read it.
Yes, I know the Prologue is really weird and really depressing, but necessary--don't worry--it's the only piece like it in the whole story.
My thanks to my betas--Haldolpoim and Rainyshiny.
Bring Me To Life : A Continuation
A Harry Potter Fan Fiction
Prologue - Love Me When I'm Gone
By I Got Tired of Waiting
There's another world inside of me that you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away... Maybe I'm just blind...
Maybe I'm just blind...
So hold me when I'm here, love me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone
Everything I am and everything you need
I'll also be the one you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down even if I could
I'd give up everything if only for your good
So hold me when I'm here, love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared, you won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone...
Excerpt from "Love Me When I'm Gone"
By 3 Doors Down
"Harry," a soft voice spoke from his right. "Harry, it's time."
Soft hands gently placed on his arm drawing him away
Away from Severus
"Harry it's time to go," the persistent voice said, soft hands still pulling on his arm.
"Harry, don't do this, you have to let go," another voice, deeper, said from his other side.
Strong hands gripped his arm. More touches from behind.
No, I don't want to go.
I want to stay here, stay with Severus
Damn you Severus, where did you go?
Why Aren't You Here?
Oh gods, ALONE.
Never alone, so long since I've been alone.
Even alone he was there, ever a part of my mind.
Got to get to Severus
"HARRY, NO!" Strong arms grabbed him again, righted him from falling into the still open grave. Pulling him back, back to--
Workers in the distance, shovels ready, watched incuriously at the tableau in front of them; they'd seen it all before.
--Reality. Looking up from the grave, he saw the misty sky. Even the sky weeps for my Severus, he thought with some satisfaction. He stared over at the woman with her lined face and silver hair and the tall stooped man with his snowy hair, full snowy beard, and blue eyes standing at his side.
Albus? He shook his head. No, Albus was dead. Had been for years. Who were all these people?
He couldn't remember.
"Harry, we must go, go back to the Castle", the voices insisted.
Soft and firm hands, softly spoken voices pulled him away, turning him, walking across the damp grass down by the lake.
A shudder passed through him, the grief threatening to swallow him whole.
My soul, he took my soul with him.
"I am nothing now."
"Hush Harry," the soft voice said, "It will be all right. Come with us. That's it, one step at a time."
Harry, that's who I am--was.
I am nothing now--He's gone.
Can't FEEL him.
Can't touch him.
I'm not REAL anymore.
For the first time in the few days since Severus had taken ill, he cried. He slowed as the ground became difficult to see and after he stumbled on a blurry rock and started to fall, the voices and hands stopped walking, catching his gaunt body before it could strike the ground.
Warm soft arms enveloped him from in front; strong arms from behind and in the misty rain, Ron and Hermione held their dearest friend tightly as he poured his soul out with his tears. Hermione's hand automatically falling on Ron's arm, Ron's hand to hers, the embrace similar to those shared with Draco. They cried with Harry as much for Severus as for their loss of Draco, the pain as fresh today as it had been twenty-two years ago.
The embrace was different, wrong somehow, but he couldn't fathom why.
Can't think without him.
My mind is not my own anymore.
Half of it is gone--
"What Harry?" Hermione asked pulling away.
"Can't think," he said again, choking on his tears.
They continued walking up to the castle. In the distance, even the castle looked forlorn, the banners all black.
Did I change the banners?
I did once before--
The students in their dark uniforms crowding the windows. There would be a separate, simple memorial service later for them and another for everyone else who could travel to Hogsmeade--the well wishers, the curious, those seeking advancement by being seen, and the reporters--Blood-sucking Vultures Severus called them--they would not even be allowed on the school grounds.
Can't stop my mind, so many memories.
He saw disjointed images flashing in his mind's eye, a feast of a long life, a long time together.
He flashed to Ron, Hermione, and Draco's Wild Wedding. A kaleidoscope of images came to his mind. Dancing--holding Severus' elegant body in time to the sweeping music--he'd been a good dancer just like everything else he'd ever done--Severus' face when he had joined the three of them--and after, dark eyes captivated green ones. "I love you," spoken for the first time--
His mind's eye saw Draco's funeral--Ron and Hermione clinging to each other--watching them, not really understanding their loss--stupidly thinking they would be all right since they still had each other--Holding Severus as he cried--Mourning the son or the father; he knew not, nor did he care. Severus had been his. Was his.
"Is mine," he muttered.
"What Harry?" Hermione asked.
"Nothing--just remembering. It's all I can do now," he mumbled to the ground
His mind traveled to the birth of the Trio's first child--in their rooms, trapped by the snow at Christmas--Severus and Draco, delivering the child, a boy--Ron and Harry coaching with pale determination--Hermione's panting screams--the huge baby with his lusty cries, his bright red hair and grey eyes--the two men holding her while she nursed the baby--Setherus, they named him--The memory faded as he tried to remember something important about it.
Walking--Back to the castle--Looking at his hands.
Startled, he saw Old Man Hands.
"When did we all get so old?" he said out loud.
He heard a chuckle, saw Ginny Longbottom with Neville, their four children, and all the grands and greats walking off to the side. She had a half-smile on her sad, tear-streaked face and said in a passable imitation of Snape at his sarcastic best, "We did NOT get old Harry. THEY just got too young." A smile touched his lips as he remembered.
Ginny and Neville's Wedding--Severus planning havoc--Severus' mischievous eyes as he bound them--Severus' laughter--Oh gods, his laughter--so rare then, but all the more special for it--their wedding night gift--Neville stammering and Ginny blushing--Severus' idea, that one, wicked man--Severus always did have the good ideas--was always thinking.
"I was always the one behind," he said out loud.
"No you weren't, you just thought differently than he did," was her soft reply.
Startled, he looked at her, the face and body older, but the eyes, the dark eyes--oh so young.
He remembered her.
They could still read each other, even after all these years. "He always enjoyed talking with you, Hermione. He could talk to you like no one else, except maybe Draco," he winced when he saw the shadow pass over her face, "Not even me. He always said you were the 'brightest crayon in the box'."
"I know, but he loved you--and no one else," she replied softly, suddenly alarmed at the empty, vacant look filling his face. He will never survive this, she thought sadly.
Her eyes--dark eyes--filled with love--eyes like--
A large hole threatened to swallow him up. He started to sag, his lucidity fading. The voices and strong hands keeping him from falling, falling into the void, following Severus.
It's not fair.
You promised you'd never leave me!
"WHY?" he cried plaintively to the heavens.
His heart-broken plea was met with silence.
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