Before the curtain opens once again, allow our cast to entertain you with a short sketch by your two beloved people, Shinra guy 1 and Shinra guy 2... (Shinra Gyu 1 and Shinra Guy 2 dash in the scene in a pose fit to the TA-DAA! sound) Audience: ... (examiner looks again!) Shinra guy 1: ...is it my turn? Shinra guy 2: Hi. Audience: ... Shinra guy 2: I think they don't like us... Shinra guy 1: It would be so easier if we had a name for ourselves... Shinra guy 2: You're right... I don't think Shinra guy 1 and Shinra guy 2 is really helping... Shinra guy 1: Fortunately I came up with a great idea! Shinra guy 2: Yea? And that is? Shinra guy 1: We'll change our names... to the Mario Brothers! Shinra guy 2 falls on his back very anime-ish as does a good proportion of the audience! Shinra guy 1: Yea! I'll get to be Mario and you'll get to be Luigi! Shinra guy 2: WHAT? Shinra guy 1 starts singing the Mario intro: Tat tat tadat, dat... Shinra guy 2: I don't wanna be Luigi! Shinra guy 1: Why, what's wrong with Luigi? He's taller, thinner, better looking... Shinra guy 2: I want to be Mario! Shinra guy 1: No, I'll be Mario! Shinra guy 2: And did you ask me if I like the Mario Brothers in the first place? Shinra guy 1: Okay, so what do you want? Shinra guy 2: Well, we're surrounded by fighters... Why don't we assume a fighting duet? And I've got the perfect one! Shinra guy 1: And what's that? Shinra guy 2: Ken and Ryu! Shinra guy 1: WHAT! Shinra guy 2: And you can get the good looking Ken all that you want! I want to be Ryu, like my hero Kazuya! (binds fingers close to his head, closing his eyes in anime thrill) Shinra guy 1: Oh no you don't! Shinra guy 2: Beats being a beer belly plummer anyday! Shinra guy 1: The Mario Brothers are legends! Shinra guy 2: Forgotten! Ken and Ryu are the best! Shinra guy 1: The Mario Brothers! Shinra guy 2: Ken and Ryu! Shinra guy 1: The Mario Brothers! Shinra guy 2: Ken and Ryu! Shinra guy 1 attacks Shinra guy 2 and they roll while fighting... Shinra guy 1: Mario Brothers! Shinra guy 2: Ken and Ryu! Audience glares very uninterested... Shinra guy 1: Mario! Mario! Shinra guy 2: Ken and Ryu! Ken and Ryu! Well, after lots of fighting until they're spent... Shinra guy 2: No use... we'll never find a good name for ourselves! Shinra guy 1: We're only good when Kazuya is with us... sob... Shinra guy 2: Oh man, Kazuya... he's so cool! Shinra guy 1: Yea... if only he were here... But what is this? In a chaff of smoke, Kazuya appears on the scene! Kaz: Anyone called? Audience cheering wildly - hey, that's what we pay 'em for! Shinra guy 1: Kazuya! Shinra guy 2: If it's a dream then don't let me waken... not yet! (both running to him) Kaz: Hey guys, you seem kind of stuck... Shinra guy 2: We can't think of a name for ourselves... Shinra guy 1: Yea, like I want us to be the Mario Brothers but he wants us to become Ken and Ryu! Shinra guy 2: I figured if I could be a cool karateka like you... Kaz: Well, like me, that's hard... Shinra guy 1: Hey, quit sweet-talking him! Commander: Why didn't anyone call me? Shinra guy 1: Because you're pathetic! Commander: Moooooof! (err... that exclamation means the guy is wounded and wants them to play with him too!) Kaz: You don't need to borrow a name to make something out of yourselves... You'll never be the same if you choose another's name... Jun: Honey, that was beautiful! Kaz: Please, don't spoil it! My motives were purely selfish! Shinra guy 2: But still, we can't make a show... Kaz: Don't worry! That's why I'm here! I'll give a hand! Audience: CHEEEEEEEEEEER...sorta. Shinra guy 1: You're the best! Kaz: Eh... I know! (gloats his own way) Shinra guy 2: swoon.... Kaz: Be right back! Kazuya disappears backstage and comes back shortly, holding Bruce's woolen cap with Bruce attached upon it, pulling the weight... Bruce: That's ma'cap! Kaz: Come on, only for a little! Finally succeeds in yanking the cap from Bruce and walks to the Shinra dudes... Shinra guy 1: Shinra dudes... that's not bad... Shinra guy 2: FORGET IT! Kazuya puts the cap on and it's pierced by the spike... Bruce (whimpering): My cap!... Kaz: To make a show... You must do something that others wouldn't. Or cannot. They don't care to see something they can do... Shinra guy 1: Like, how did you tear a cap with the hair? Shinra guy 2 (slapping Shinra guy 1): Oh you're horrible. Kaz: Heh, I'll teach you that later. For once... stick to what you can do! Shinra guy 2: ...like? Kaz: Well isn't it obious? Sing! Ta-CHUNK! Shinra guy 1: ...sing? Kaz: Yea, like the other time we sang for Rufus? Shinra guy 2: Yea but... what do we sing about this time? Kaz: Umm... let me see... You need something you know very well... I know! The first time comes to mind... Bruce: Na we ain't gonna care to lizzen bout your first time~ Shinra guy 1: Allright! Tell all, tell all! Kaz: Naw! I mean the first time we sang and you taught me the steps... Shinra guy 2: Oh... that... Mel: I'd prefer to hear about your first time! Shinra guy 2: ...you mean, that wasn't me? Kaz: You should be glad you weren't ;) Shinra guy 2: (blushes :) Kaz: Shall we? Shinra guy 1: Whenever you're ready, chief! Then the lights go down and drums start banging. Lights flash and then guitar strings add... Shinra guys and Kazuya place shades on their faces... Kaz: Now there's a backseat Shinra guy 1 + 2: lover (audience cheers) Kaz: That's always under Shinra guy 1 + 2: cover Kaz: And I talk til my daddy say Shinra guy 1: Said you ain't seen nuthin Shinra guy 2: Til you're down on her muffin Kaz: And there's sure to be a change in ways Kaz: Now there's a cheer Shinra guy 1: leader Kaz: That's a real big Shinra guy 1 + 2: pleaser Kaz: As far as I can reminisce... (Shinra guy 1 faces Shinra guy 2) Shinra guy 1: But the best thing Shinra guy 2: love it Shinra guy 1: Was her sister Shinra guy 2: and her cousin (Kazuya swifts between them) Kaz: And it started with a little kiss, like this (Doing synchropnised dance in a row and the crowd cheers...) Jun: This is so embarassing! Shinra guy 1: She starts swingin Kaz: With the boys in tune Shinra guy 2: And her feet fly up in the air Shinra guy 1: Singin hey diddle diddle with a kitty in the middle Shinra guy 2: And they swingin like it just don't care Kaz: So I took a big chance Shinra guy 1 + 2: At the high school dance Kaz: With a lady who was ready to play Shinra guy 1: It wasn't me she was foolin Shinra guy 2: Cause she knew what was she was doin Kaz: when she told me how to walk this way, she told me to~ Back wall is torn in two and Commander (Jann Lee) pops through with extra long black hair and freaky make up - Audience cheers Commander (really shrilly, shaking his mane): Walk this way! Talk this way! Walk this way! Talk this way! Kazuya + Shinra guy 1 + Shinra guy 2: She told me to~ Commander: Walk this way! Talk this way! Walk this way! Talk this way! Well just gimme a kiiiiiiss!... Audience: WEEEEE! Shinra guy 1 + 2 (really macho): Oooh, a-like this! (music and more dancing, Kazuya does the full split sit down - don't do unless you have really good splits! - author's note: It's so embarassing when there are guys who have better splits than I!) Kaz: School girl sleazy Shinra guy 1: With a classy kind of sassy Shinra guy 2: Little skirt hangin way up her kneeeee (indicating where) Kaz: It was three young ladies Shinra guy 1: In the school gym locker Shinra guy 2: And they find they were lookin D Kaz: I was high school loser Shinra guy 1: Never made it with a lady Shinra guy 2: Til a boy told me somethin I missed Kaz: That my next door (Kaz + Commander): neighbor Shinra guy 1: had a daughter Shinra guy 2: had a favor Kaz: And I gave the girl a little kiss, like this. (kisses Commander who gets extra excited!) Commander (binds palms dreamily): She starts swingin with the boys in the school with her feet flyin up in the air Shinra guy 1: Singing hey diddle diddle Shinra guy 2: with a kitty in the middle Commander: I was swingin like I didn't care Kaz: So I took a big chance at the high school dance With a miss who was ready to play Commander: Wasn't me she was foolin Shinra guy 1: cause she knew what she was doin Shinra guy 2: when she told me how to walk this way All together: Walk this way! Talk this way! Walk this way! Talk this way! Shinra guy 1: she told me to~ All: Walk this way! Talk this way! Walk this way! Talk this way! ... The song finishes and the audience is cheering excited. Our friends walk together to the edge and bow... Audience: WEEEEEEEEEEEE! And this is your chance to somewhat learn the lyrics to "Rock this way" if anyone's interested that is... Kaz: So you see... you don't really need a name... you only have to do something to attract attention... and That's how you make a name! Shinra guy 1: Thank you! I'll never forget that! Shinra guy 2: Friends like you make life beautiful... Kaz: Ah... I know! And so our dear Kazuya leaves Shinra guy 1 and Shinra guy 2, waving as he makes it to the backstage... Bruce: (whining) Oh man, whites can't rap! Kaz: Hey man... Thanks, kay? (hands the cap to Bruce who takes it and wimpers over the hole...) Shinra guy 1: I think that was a good lesson... Shinra guy 2: Yea... and we got to sing! Shinra guy 1: Hey, I think you are right. If we must become anyone at all, we should be fighters! Shinra guy 2: Yea! Shinra guy 1: And I even thought who! Shinra guy 2: ? Shinra guy 1: Terry and Andy Bogard! Shinra guy 2: Cool! Take Andy, you get Mai too! I'll be Terry, he's so cool! And free! Shinra guy 1: Hey, wait! I wanna be Terry! Shinra guy 2: No! I'll be Terry Bogard! Shinra guy 1: NO, you'll be Andy Bogard! Shinra guy 2: Terry Boggard! Shinra guy 1: Andy Boggard! Anna: Damn Nina, they make us look like friends! Nina: You're right... No wait! You can't be right! I can't agree with you! Waaahhhh!!!! But it's time to get back to the story my kind readers. So the lights drop as the curtain is about to be pulled away for the continuation of the story...