Chapter 30 It was a lovely night but now, Cloud and Aeris must take the way back to rest because tomorrow promises to be a long day... Bruce: Yo, have ya heard, you know Cloud could take me on a date instead! Mel: WHAT? Red: It's true. If things don't work with Aeris, Cloud dates either Tifa or Yuffie, or Barret, in that order! Mileena about to get a heart stroke from realising how CLOSE she was to a date! Xiaoyu: But I don't want to go on a date with him anyway! Mel: Well, if YOU got HALF a chance, I'd~ Bruce: Jes typical of him! One refuses, he takes another! CS: *sigh* Men... Everyone staring at Cait Sith... Mel: [beep]! I was THAT close! THAT desperately close! Cid: Aye, shuddup! Ya know he'd sooner plunge out of the window then dating ya! Mel: Aw, shuddup! CS: Good telling her, Cid! Mel: WARGH! Red: Wait a second! Cait, what are you STILL doing here? CS: Ooops! Forgot! Cid: Hey! Move out! Audience cheers and Cid bows... Cait Sith carries his lump outside the door... CS: (mumbing) That horrible company is having it's effect on me... Cid: Oh, and Cait? CS: What? Cid: Don't get stuck in the door, WAHAAAAAAAAA! Audience laughs... CS: Oooow... (upset and steaming) Mel: Watch it, you'll overheat and get a stroke! ^_^ Xiaoyu: Hahahaaaa! Red: And then you wonder why he betrays us! Bruce: Hey! Who's betrayin? CS: No Red, that's not the reason~ Bruce: WHAT reason? Red: Cait, just take the keystone and leave, will you? Mel: Wait! What... (hysterical) where is he going with the keystone? Cid: Aw, shuddup and let the man do his job~ CS: I'm not a man! Cid: Then what ARE you? Red: I think that's hardly the issue~ Bruce: Stop yelling there, willya! Cait Sith takes advantage of the fight and despite his mass, succeeds in sneaking away... Bruce: Hey! He's gone! Xiaoyu: And you call ME a thief! Bruce: Hey watch it! Materias are more useful than bloody rocks! Red: Oh dear... Bruce: And what are you dearing about? Red: Bruce, we need the keystone to get to the temple of the ancients~ Cid: Oh, give it up, he's too dense to understand anyway... Bruce: Whom you calling dense? Red: o O (Hello hello, he learned of the final 'g' ?) So Cid and Bruce get into a verbal attack which soon becomes physical and like all Muai Thais are known, they are mindlessly brutal, breaking their heads before they kill their opponents... (hello Muai Thai instructor, how long have you been around? *sweatdrop* ) Xiaoyu: Vincent, how can you sleep with all that noise? Vincent: Compared to the clamour of the battlefield and the wails of the soldiers dying a bloody death, this is bliss... Xiaoyu: Erp... (with a dangerous yellow shade on her face) I'm going to the bathroom! (hurries) Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Gold Saucer... Dio: And up, and down... oh hi! Squats are all in the rhythm! And up and down... Okay, maybe not that elsewhere... Kaz: Jun... I had a wonderful time. Jun: (blushing) Honey... thank you... Hand in hand they head for the hotel when to their surprise they bump into Cait Sith up and running... Kaz: I'd like to see running... ;) CS: Oh, you're horrible! Well, >BUMP!< anyway... Jun: Hey! Cait Sith! CS: Uh-Oh! (jumps in a startle and begins to run!) Kaz: Hey! Why is he running away? So our friends run after him. He heads for Wonder Square where he does his BEST to hide behind the tiny (compared to his mass) person disguised as a chocobo but still they spot him (as if they wouldn't!), they chase him through the speed and finally at the Chocobo Square where the Turks' helicopter awaits... and before their stunned eyes, Cait Sith hands over the keystone to Tseng himself... Jun: Hey, it's mr Tseng! Hello mr Tseng! ^_^ But Tseng doesn't wave back... Jun: Why didn't he wave back? Kaz: He probably didn't see you... Cait Sith loosely walks to them... CS: Well, guys... I can explain... Kaz: What? Cait Sith falls back as if jolted by electricity... Kaz: Oops, my bad. Jun: Honey, stop doing that to people! CS: I just handed the keystone to the Turks before your very eyes and all you can say is 'WHAT'? Kaz: I don't get it! CS: This is hopeless! Jun: Why did you do that Cait Sith? CS: This is impossible! Haven't you realised yet that the Turks are our enemies? Jun: But they've been so nice so far... Kaz: Oh, I get it! CS: Finally! Kaz: You got a deal with the bad guys and you want to keep it all to yourself! Over my dead body! CS: (crying) Didn't I just know it! Jun: Honey, this isn't what he tried to tell us... Kaz: Huh? CS: I stole the keystone! I gave it to the Turks and now they can go to the Temple of the Ancients before you! Kaz: ...so? Where Cait Sith jumps into hysteria and considers suicide by jumping like a water mellon from the top of the Golden Saucer and all chocobo-dressed people try to restrain him... Chocobo1: Calm down, Cait Sith! Chocobo2: Cait Sith, calm down! Chocobo3: Think of those guys in Corel below! They'll think the sky is falling! Chocobo1: Talking about one heavy sky... Chocobo2: Then again, maybe they'll take him for a wishing star and make a wish... Chocobo3: Yea... like this star won't fall on Their head! CS: Thank you guys! Just THANK YOU! Chocobo3: Don't mention it! ^_^ Chocobo4: Hi mama, I'm on TV! Kaz: Just gorgeous... Jun: Honey, try to act a little... Kaz: ME try? You are the one who said the Turks are friends! CS (desperately): Will anyone pay any attention to me? Maxi: You~ Mitzurugi grabs handle of katana and frowns: Maxi... Maxi: Allright, allright! I get the point, okay! Put your sword down!... There! Jeez! And they say freedom of speech... Jun: Ahem... Cait, why did you do that? We are your friends! CS: Yea but, ah... I'm handled by Reeve from the Shinra Tower... Kaz: Reeve? Wait, this is getting too complicated... CS: Help! They are useless! (cries desperately) Jun: But then you are with the bad guys! A light bulb brightens... well a dim one but... CS: Yea! But... you see, I like you guys too! Kaz: Look... I may not be an actor but I know a thing or two about wickedness... you can't be with both good and bad guys... you have to make up your mind! CS: ARGH! Jun: Calm down Cait Sith and try in plain words to explain... CS: I BETRAYED YOU! I GAVE THE KEYSTONE TO THE TURKS! I~ Stares at the ignorant expression on their faces... CS: Ah, forget, why bother... Turns to leave and discards the tape recorder with Marlene's and Elmyra's voice, with which he planned to blackmail them... Jun: Oh, we surely irritated him... Kaz: What the hell was he talking about? And why do I care about that keystone anyway? Jun: Honey... (a little angry) we have to enter the Temple of the Ancients, right? Kaz: So? Let the Turks do the dirty work for us! Are we in a hurry? Jun: (hopelessly sighs) Honey... Kaz: Jun it's been nice so far... Jun picks up the tape recorder... Jun: Hmm, I wonder... Kaz: I'm not interested in his favorite music either! Jun: Oh, well, me neither but it must be important to Cait... I'll return it to him... And so, with the small tape recorder at hand, they head back to the hotel for the night. Jin: I don't get it... what's going on? Hwoarang (leaning on Jin's shoulder): You wouldn't understand if I told you... Jin: Why wouldn't I? Have you ever tried to explain anything to me that I didn't understand? Hwoarang looks up desperately. Jin: You're weird Hwoarang. You expect me to be a mind reader or something? Why don't you tell me? Hwoa: You can't see the obvious right in front of you, how do you expect to understand THAT? Jin: Hwoarang, why do you act so strange? Hwoa: Never mind Jin... go back to sleep... Jin: Yea, I think I'll do now that you're quiet because otherwise at nights you get a fit and you scream, throwing pillows on me and dad must wrestle you down on the bed... Hwoarang? Hwoarang? What did I~ Hwoarang attacks Jin's neck. Hwoa: I'm gonna killya man, I'm gonna killya!!! (hysterical, trying to strangle Jin) Jin: Gw...AGL..GAH! (goes blue) Let me assure you however that Jin survives somehow and lets go back to the hotel where the whole group is up and having breakfast... Xiaoyu: I'd rather not ask what's this... Cid: Tastes like eggs... Bruce: Don't bet yer ass on it... Mel: Can I have the spread please? Kaz: Coffee... I need coffee... CS: Sob... sob SOB! Bruce: Oh, by the way Cloud... Cait Sith stole the keystone... Cait Sith falls face first in the cereal bowl... Xiaoyu: Eww, gross! Mel: Is 'eww, gross' all you ever say? Kaz: Please, not that story again, I'm reading the paper... Jun: Honey? Vincent: Does it say anything about my memorial? Kaz: I didn't know it was your memorial today... (all sweet and sugary all of a sudden) Vincent: Oh, hihihi... (flails one hand while covering his smile with the other) A frivolity of mine to conceal my age... Cid: For an @#$%^& vampire you don't show at all! Xiaoyu: So what do I say, happy, err... death day? No wait. I don't want to know. Jun: Do we, erm... send flowers or something? Vincent: A dozen of withered roses would be nice... but your affection will do... Xiaoyu: As long as you don't want a hug... Mel: People, some of us are eating here! Bruce: Can I have my milk, mommy? Mel: Certainly! (pours milk on Bruce's head) Bruce: Argh! Bruce shakes his head sending droplets left and right... Xiaoyu: EWWW! Cid: @#$%^&! What the @#$%^ do you think you're doing?!? CS: WAAARHHHH! Kazuya stares over the paper with an absent, angry gaze... Red: If you're done, I think it's time to head for the Temple of the Ancients... Bruce: Yo! Get me a napkin! Jun: I think we're ready to go... oh honey, I'm so nervous! Red: Cait Sith... well, you know your part... CS: Do I know he says... DO I KNOW HE SAYS! Kaz: ? Vincent stands up valiantly: There is no point in preventing the inevitable... let's get going and meet our destiny, however it is shaped, let's look at it right into the eyes and bravely stand before it... Kaz: ...there was an easier way to say all these... Cid: Right! Move out! Audience: WHEEE~ Cast: KNOCK it off! Audience: (fuming) Xiaoyu: Hey, I haven't finished yet! But a quest is a quest and so our heroes leave the breakfast table.