Chapter 27 - The rescue Red: Good thing we found a script or things would get really messy! Cid: Hate to say it but the pages are out of order. I don't see anyone carrying a masamune around... Kaz: A masamune? Gimme that! CS (hysterical): Oh heavens! Oh heavens! (airs himself) Mel: I just noticed that Cait Sith is in fact two persons... CS: The moogle actually is to battle... the spirit's in the cat. Kaz: Yea only... the moogle gets the spotlight! (bursts laughing) CS: Why you! Cid: Hey, he's not to blame! The moogle doesn't leave much else to see! Adon: Man, are you always sucha buncha laughabillies? Everyone stares at Adon. Kaz: Come again? Mel: What did you just say? Cid: In your own words? Jun: In plain English? Red: Yes, unfortunately and keeping them together isn't easy so would you mind if we moved on? Sagat: Damn that cat! How can he understand him when I spend days with him and I can't? Cid: I'm telling ya, Red is educated! The other time there was this odd German and he could talk to him! So they all go outside Wutai where Don Corneo and his men headed... There, there is the mountain of DaChao that is carved with Budhas and filled with price giving caves... Mel: A babe, huh? ;) Kaz: Well, you know, that's sweet talking her so she won't give me a ticket each time I park illegally... Mel: I'm not your wife to buy that! Kaz: In that case, you don't have to buy at all! ;) Cid: HAAAAAHAHAHAHA, tell 'er, boss! Mel: Shut up! CS: Well, at least she didn't say the F-word... Mel: There are more than the F-word! Red: And I'm sure you know them all, you don't have to prove yourself. Jun: Please, in this difficult time... Vincent: My fair lady, I will not let harm anywhere near you. I give you my word for that. Jun: Thank you, Vincent... Mel: I can't believe she melted like that! Everyone is searching for the abducted girls... Kaz: If you find Yuffie, wrench the location of the materias and leave her! Jun: Honey, I'm sure you don't have to be so hard... Kaz: Hard? Oooh, baby and I haven't even started! Mel: And that ladies and gentlemen is foreplay the Kazama way! Jin: Hey, are you forgetting something? Mel: Shut up you brat, you should be grateful! Jin (innocently): I didn't ask for more... Xiaoyu: Grossness! Rude: Why the hell must we be standing while they explore the caves and pick up all the treasures? Tseng: Because those treasures are of no use to us. Adon: My man, are you crazy or something? They got a hundred thousand gil out of this no use craps! Eventually, after lots of search and tough battles, they catch up with Don and his men... he has chained Elena and Yuffie upon a statue to make his indecent choice... Jun: Oh, horrendous sight! Vincent: I wish I could say I'm unfamiliar with that image... Kaz: Which was your position into it? Vincent: Cloud... please... Kaz: I'm sorry... (embraces Vincent: He's so pure!) I didn't mean to bring back bad memories... Vincent: I know you didn't, Cloud... Mel: o O (DIE Vincent DIE! And you go along!) Elena: Don't just stare at us, do something! Xiaoyu: Waaaaah! I hate heights! Don: Ho ho ho !!! Who's it gonna be this time? Mel: Hey, do you settle for that black hared beauty? (points at Vincent) Kaz: ! Don: Ho ho ho!!! He IS cute! Come to mama, sweety! Kaz: Mileena! How could you~ Vincent: No, Cloud... I will offer myself for you. Kaz: What? Vincent theatrically covers his forehead: I'll trade my useless soul for the freedom of these girls and our materias! Kaz: Vincent, that isn't necessary! Mel: Oh, it is, it IS! (tries to push Vincent to Don) Cid: @#$%^&, we're gonna kick his ass, not offer him a trade! Red: ...I seriously begin to like that boy! Rude picks his nose... Adon: Stop that you idiot! Rude: Sorry (wiping his hand on his pants) CS: Do you have any idea how much that costs? Rude: Not me paying 'em... Elena: WHAT ABOUT US! Cid: Hey! Haven't they told you it's rude to yell! @#$%^& ! Jun: Don Corneo, release those women at once! Kaz: Honey, try to end with "Or else" if you must talk... Tseng: Wait up. Tseng walks decisively to Don... Tseng: You know Don~ Reno (pops up): No one's getting in the way of Reno and the Turks! Tseng eyes Reno... Reno: Oops... of the Turks. Like that. Tseng: ... Reno: Sorry. Rude: Hehehe, you have it bad, Reno! Kaz: (why can't I too get a cool part like Tseng!) CS: Tseng is really splendid! Tseng: So you see Don... You like guessing games... So which option do you pick? A, B or C? Don: You haven't told me what the options are! Tseng: I haven't, have I? Don: Positively not... Cid: He has a point... CS: And I take it back about Tseng! Kaz: Are you crazy? He's the man, he doesn't have to reason! He does the kill for the fun! Tseng (obviously boosted up): What does it matter. You lose anyway. Tseng lets Don fall down a cliff, at which stage Kazuya glares very demonically happy... Kaz: Yeayeayeayea!! heheh! Heheheh! Paul: Uhuh... huhuhuh... Mel: From Shakespeare to Beavis and Butthead... Observing human evolution. Jun: Oh dear! Now we must get the girls! Reno: Hey boss! What of them? And here, my dear audience, is a crucial point... can our tired heroes fight the Turks without any materia either? The heroic team gets ready however... Cid: (cracks knuckles) Reno: (immitates Cid) But I say marvel at Tseng's honourable poise... Tseng: No. Today we are on a day off. And don't you tell me this hasn't moved you when it happened! I thought it was one of the best moments in the game! Cid: Aww, unfair! I wanted to fight! Red: Some other time. Now for you little one... hand back our materias. Xiaoyu: I guess I have no choice... Jun: Honey, what Tseng did... that was wonderful! Kaz: Har! I'd be happy to kick his ass! Jun: Honey! Mel: (I'd be happy to pitch ya off that cliff!) Vincent: All's well when it ends well... And so Yuffie returns their materias to them, even though her arrangement isn't exactly the best... Yuffie: There. Jun: That's better. Red: And I think we should head back. I wonder how Bruce is doing. Mel: Oh damn. We'll get him back... Xiaoyu: Everyone, thanks I guess... Cid: Don't get me wrong, I did it for the materias! Xiaoyu: ! The materias being restored, our glorious group is leaving the small town of Wutai. If they choose, they could take Yuffie with them and enter the Temple, where the quest for Leviathan can begin but they are all tired and they decide to better go back into the Tiny Bronco and have a rest before coming back to this wonderful island for more. And so our heroes head all the way back, because until they get the Highwind~ Red: Shhhhht! Mel: Stop hushing people! ~don't worry, Bruce can't hear ya~ Cid: A... a... a highwind?!? Red: Didn't I just know it! Cid hops around with Xiaoyu on his back: Ouuwie! Ouuwie! A plane! For me! Xiaoyu: EEEE! Easy there mr Horsey! (scared but enjoying it) CS: I say, that man is most inappropriate for a little girl's company! Jun (nested in Kazuya's arms): Honey... (very sweetly) Our hero seems so surprised! Kaz: ...yes? Jun: I was just thinking... (pulls herself closer to him) Kaz: (think on, think on! ;) Hmm? ;) Jun: Wouldn't it be great... if we had a daughter? At which stage, Kazuya halts in a jolt and Cait Sith, walking behind him bumps onto him, then Red crashes on Cait Sith and so forth... While Cid with Xiaoyu on his back: Hey! Why did you stop! Mel: Hmm? Jun: Honey? Vincent: He looks petrified... you think a soft would help? So they pour some soft on Kazuya's top and... oh what miracle! Cid: It... it's moving! Mel: I never thought it could... Red: No way this is true... Let's get a shot... WOAH! My fellows, try to picture this: Kazuya with straight hair! Er, okay, I haven't put it correctly... with _ordinary_ hair, again I'm sorry, I mean with his hair DOWN! Jun: Honey! (amazed) Xiaoyu: AAAhahahahaaaaaa! Look at him! Kaz: (shaking off a bad dream) What! CS: Well, I never thought anything could beat the spike... Kaz: ? Vincent: That's one face of yours I've never seen... Jun: Me neither... Mel: (to herself) Bet you missed more than that one! ;( Kaz: What's going on? (notices everyone staring at his head) Um? Jun reaches out a hand and touches his hair... Jun: Oh my! Kaz: Jun? You never stroked my hair before... CS: I can see why... Vincent: It's so... pretty... Kaz: (confused and blushing) Mel: Mhmfmfmf! Cid: I say, keep it like that! It's far better! Take it from me, the hair expert! (either way you look at it, both Bryan and Maxi have a thing for haircuts!) Zack (of Dead or Alive): My maaan... that's because I make their hair! Kaz: What of my hair~ touches his head~ ARK! (searching for his peak) Kaz: My hair! They fell off! Mel: Not off... Xiaoyu: They just fell into place! ^_^ Red: Do I say... reformed? Kaz: DON'T! Jun: It's becoming on you honey! Vincent: I must say... it makes you look a few years younger... Kaz: HAH! CS: Would you mind leaving hair alone! Kaz: You complain because you have no hair at all! CS: Well! But here we will leave our heroes to debate on the ponderous questions of this earthly life, while they head for the Tiny Bronco. Xiaoyu is happily settled on Cid's back, Vincent is strolling in the greens and Jun takes a nap in Kazuya's arms, while he hopes she won't wake up to any more ideas. The road is long and it takes them a while but they do reach the place they left their plane... Cid: Good thing it ain't been stolen! Red: Who would? CS: The excercise is doing me good though... Mel: As good as the bandage to a corpse. Vincent: This reminds me of... Everyone glares at Vincent... Vincent: Oh, I'm sorry... Red: Just save it for later. Vincent settles for that and they all enter the Tiny Bronco, heading all the way back to the other continent.