Chapter 14

	Our heroes step out of the ship later on and watch Zangief 
chasing a hysterical DeeJay dressed as a sailor around the place...
Bruce: Hey, I'm dressed as a sailor too!
DeeJay: Bruce man, help!
Bruce: Jeez, man, DeeJay, get a life!
Kaz: So what do we do now?
Mel: Do you always ask what to do next? Can't you take any initiative?
Kaz: What's your problem, I wasn't asking you anyway!
Mel (falsely coy): Oh pity, because I had some great ideas...
Red: I think we should go on to Costa del Sol.
Mel: Great! At last we'll have some holidays! Sunbathing! And swimming!
And... (looks suggestively at Kazuya)
Kazuya realises Mileena is looking suggestively at him and looks back 
in anger...
Mel: Well, if you can't measure up...
Jun (trying to save the day): Bruce you look cute in those sailor 
clothes!
Audience: HAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA! (I'm too trying to save the day...)
Bruce: Hey! Who you calling cute!
Jun: You can use them as pajamas you know! ^_^
Kaz (exasperated): Why don't we focus on chasing Sephiroth?
Red: Good, I was about to say that.
Kaz: You know Red... I might get to like you...
Red: For once I will agree with you...
Kaz: I don't see why I should mind that...
Red: Okay. On to the city then. Make sure to have some rest...
	Indeed the brave travellers go off to Costa del Sol which is 
a fine holiday resort. Bruce hides off to the inn to try his sailor 
pajamas, Mileena goes to the beach to get a tan...
Kaz: That means we're left alone?
Jun: Honey!
Kaz: Well I was thinking that maybe we could get to talk a little? This
whole thing is getting to me...
	While Red is taking a nap under the shadow of a building, 
playing soccer or whatever with two kids, arguing with his tail which 
has a mind of its own at the same time...
Red: Grrrr...
Kaz: Arrrr...
Red: I wasn't talking to you.
Kaz: Oh, okay.
Red: Grrrr...
Kaz: GrArrr... that had it!
	So Kazuya kicks the ball right onto Red with all his fury and 
Red jumps up, barking at him...
Jun: Honey!
Kid: Heeey! Give us our ball!
Other kid: Waaaaah!
Kaz: Hey, this is fun! (kicks the ball again)
Red: That's once!
Jun: Honey... behave!
Kazuya leaves the ball alone...
Kaz: Heheh... that fixed my moods better than a hyper!
Jun: Honey!
Girl in bikini: Is "honey" the only thing she can say?
Girl in bikini 2: To think I got turned down for _her_!
Girl 1: You don't say!
Little ninja girl that we'll meet later, since we haven't met yet, in 
the materia store: Materia, materia! Good materia! Buy from Yuffie's 
materia here!
Jinrey: Hey, old man! See my grand daughter? Unlike yours, she's become
something of herself!
Heihachi leering: Yes, she is cute... ;)
Jinrey: BASTARD! (attacks Heihachi...)
	Let me interject a tiny notice for my fair audience... if you 
find Yuffie on your way to Junon, when in Costa del Sol, you'll see her
working part time as a materia seller... yes, she actually sells the 
materia there and doesn't even make a discount, greedy little devil!
But in our saga, the team doesn't include Yuffie yet, but to put old 
man Jinrey at ease that his grand daughter will make an appearance as I
granted him repeatedly, she is introduced earlier...
	At which stage, Yuffie, played by Ling Xiaoyu does her 
pattented hopping and then the spin, almost falling on her skinny 
legs...
Julia + Seung Mina + Kasumi + Sakura: GIRL POWER!
Chun Li: Go cousin!
Xiaoyu: Hi everyone! (smiling as cutely as can be!)
Kaz: Someone tell me we're not really taking THAT ninny with us!
	Xiaoyu looks at him stunned with her eyes wide and beginning to
wobble, brimming with tears...
Jun: Honey? Why are you being rude? Of course we are!
Kaz: NO [beep]ing way!
Jun: ! Honey!
Jinrey: What, my grand daughter ain't good enough to join your team? 
I'll show you, you good for nothing~ (begins to march up)
Heihachi: Har, har, har!
Jinrey: What you laughing for! Shut up! Curse you!
Xiaoyu: I'm no ninny!
Kaz (thumping at his ears): Stop shrilling near me!
Xiaoyu: You're the UGLIEST I've ever seen!
Kaz: And you're a [beep]ing [beep~
Me gaping, not believing Kazuya has really insulted the little girl!
Mitzurugi: ! (gaping for the same reasons!)
Xiaoyu: !
Jinrey: You!... you talk like that to my grand daughter?
When Jun snaps around landing a loud slap on Kazuya's face...
>SLAP<!
Kaz: HEY!
Jun: Honey, I've had it with you! Apologise to the girl immediately!
Kaz: [fuming...]
Jun: Okay... you won't behave... then I'm gone!
	Jun heads for the Inn...
Kaz: Jun! What the... (turning to Xiaoyu): YOU started this!
	Xiaoyu says nothing but when he leaves, takes out  with a 
cheeky grin a nice All materia...
	While in the Inn...
Kazuya raps at the restroom door...
Kaz: Honey get out for a moment...
A gattling gun responds!
Bruce (trying the sailor clothes): Hey! Whom you callin' hun?
Kaz: Gasp! It was a mistake!
Bruce (getting out with the pajamas on!): Damn right you are! (marches
towards Kazuya)
Kaz: Bruce, hey, I can explain...
But as Bruce raises his heavy fist...
Jun: Honey?
Kaz: Gurlp...
Bruce: Okay, da lady saved ya! But next time... (glares at Kazuya)
Kazuya turns to Jun relieved...
Kaz: Look Jun... I don't know what came over me... this whole business
is driving me nuts!
Jun: I know. Saving the world is not an easy thing...
Kaz: Not that story again! I was talking about that... Ah forget!
(falls on the bed...)
Jun takes a seat next to him and pats his shoulder...
Bruce: Hey man, don't let me stand in your way...
Kaz: !
Jun: Honey, I know what you need. You need to relax...
Kaz: (leaping up) For once Jun you're right!
Jun (smiling) I know just what you need!
Bruce: Hehehe ;)
Jun: A stroll at the beach!
Kazuya's beaming face dies...
Kaz: The beach?!?
Jun: Yes honey! Come on!
Kaz: We'll get sand in our shoes and salt in our clothes, I don't want 
to!
Jun: Oh, now honey! We'll get to swim and sunbathe! (runs outside)
Kaz: Uh, grumb!
	So half willingly, our hero follows his girl down to the 
beach where they meet with Mileena again...
Kaz: What next?
	Is someone getting predictable around here? But... what is 
Mileena so intensely looking at?
Mel: Ohmy, lookie there!
Kaz: What, that girl in the bikini?
Mel: No, you idiot! That!
Jun goes starry eyed: Oh my god!
	And there, my dear friends, in a guest appearance is no other 
than Johnny Cage in a swimming suit! Watch those perfect muscles and 
the golden tan, topped by shiny silky hair!
	Johnny Cage fixes his sunglasses and grins...
Audience: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Kaz: Humpf, hah, pfah! So what!
Jun: It's him! It's Johnny Cage!
Mel: You can say that again! Out of the way!
	But unfortunately, my dear people, Johnny Cage is escorted by 
Kitana in a blue bikini...
Mel: Hi Kitana!
Kit: Hi Mileena!
Jun: Hi! ^_^
Cage: Hey everyone!
Kaz: Hrmpf!
Jun: Honey...! Be nice!
Kazuya makes a face of wild surprise. 
Kaz: Me, acting nice?
Cage: So what brings you here? (fixes sunglasses)
Jun: Eh, um, you see...
Mel: We saw you and thought of saying hi...
Hojo (behind Cage, blayed by Dr B. as before): Err, excuse me.
Mel: So how do you enjoy your vacation?
Kit: Very nice, thank you.
Hojo: Ahem!
Kaz: I think the man is trying to talk to us?
Mel: (ah, shut!) I think we will stay with you for some days and have 
a tan...
Hojo: A!hem!
Jun: Honey, what's that weird man?
Kaz: Just as I was saying! Quit fooling around with "mister Cage" and 
get to the script!
Mel: I say? Is someone turning green around here?
Kaz: If you don't shut up you'll turn purple!
Mel: But I am purple... (seductively)
Cage: You seem to be busy so I won't be keeping you...
Kazuya mimics what Cage said...
Jun: Honey!
Hojo: Over here, if you don't mind!
Jun: Oh, not at all!
Mel: See you around... Johnny Cage!
Kitana glares at Mileena...
Mel: Oh and... Kitana too!
Jun: ^_^
Kaz: Hmpf! If I took my clothes off too!
Hojo: Oh yeah? Well, don't do it now!
Mel: Okay ugly geek, what do you want?
Hojo: Hey! You just lost your chance of becoming one of my masseuses!
Mel: Big deal!
Hojo: You bet!
Kaz: Okay, so what do you have to say?
Hojo: I say you're looking very bad!
Kaz: Sigh...
Jun: Ummm, mr Hojo? What are you saying? (trying to suggest a change 
of attitude)
Hojo: Hmm? I thought that was in the script?
Mel: Great. He doesn't know the script.
Kazuya, raising his hands to the heavens: How much more? HOW much 
More?!?
Jun: Honey! Give him some time to remember!
Kaz: That senile bastard may take forever to remember his name!
Hojo: That ain't true! My name is Boskonovitch!
Kaz: Yeah? And what's your first name?
Hojo: Eh... Don't you rather want to learn where Sephiroth went?
Kaz: No, I need your first name!
Jun: Actually (honey, please!) I wanted to know if Sephiroth is an 
ancient.
Hojo: How am I supposed to~
Kaz: Oh quit it, if Lee is an ancient~
Jun: Sephiroth!
Kaz: Jun!
Mileena to herself: Woman, to your kitchen!
Kaz: Shut up!
Mel: Wohoho!! Woman shut up and blow me!
Mitzurugi: ! Censorship! Where on earth is the censorship!
Hojo: Pepper! Little girl I'll slap your hands with the ruler!
Kaz showing Hojo: Here, help yourself to the buffet! ;)
Mel: No doubt I'll be better fed!
Kaz: Who cares if you'll be fed!
Jun: Honey, I don't know what you two are talking about but I think you
should stop it right now!
Hojo: Ah, you tire me! Go away, all of you! Go far from here, to Corel
and leave me alone! I wanted to get my vacation and here's what I've 
got! Get away!
Jun: Doctor Hojo...
Kaz: Honey, I think the man made his point, let's leave him.
Jun: But honey...
Hojo: Yes, leave him! Leave him to rest! Hooligans!
Mel: Ah, well. I'll go dive into the sea then... Watch, I'm taking my 
clothes off...
Kazuya: Oh brother... (to Jun): Let's get out.
	Therefore the decision is being taken and the heroic team will 
be making for the North of the continent, where they will search for 
answers and hopefully find Sephiroth... Leaving Hojo behind, safe and 
sound for now... err... okay, just safe.
Hojo: Vladimir? Boris? Piotr? Um... WOA! Who's that girl bathing naked!
	But the curtain will fall and there will be an intermission, so
that my kind readers may go to the restroom or get themselves a snack 
if they so desire...
(lights on...)

Mitzurugi: What a script, by Rayden!
Maxi: Give it up, he never listens anyway...
Rayden: zzzErh? Who's sleeping?