Chapter 12 It's a grim situation for the heroic team as they are facing their internal conflicts... They find residence in a kind man's home, after he heard what they did for Priscilla... (so if you are in Junon area, don't waste money on hotels and potions: You'll get a rest for FREE! God I love those!) In that time... Cloud is having a nightmare... Kaz: For a [beep]ing nightmare it's a very vivid nightmare! Bruce: Will you stop wiggling about! And the next day they wake up by a march! For your convenience, try to tune into the march of Junon, for Rufus's welcome ceremony, yep, that upbeat track... Kaz: What the... Mel: Come outside... if you can still walk after last night ;) Kaz: grrrrr... Bruce: Woah! Man, your spikes are really hurtful! Kaz: My... (what?!?) Our hero notices wounds on Bruce that can only have happened due to his hair... Kaz: Oh God! Rayden: Zzzzhumpf? Fujin: He was talking to me!! Shinnok: How do you know he wasn't talking to me? After all I'm an evil god! Devil: Hey! Why aren't you talking to ME! Angel: Honey... Rayden: Go bicker around elzewhere! I'm trying to lizzen to my devoteezzz! Toshin: He is a Tekken guy, he's talking to a Tekken god! Akuma: Of course, I'm always here... The rest: Aw, shuddup! And so as they come outside they find out... That man at the house with the fish spine outside - yeh, that man: It's Rufus's welcoming ceremony! Kaz: Rufus is here? Bruce: Well lemme give him a piece of mah mind! Red: (excellent!) Bruce (Whaddaya think I've been doing all night?) Red: (I'd rather not say in the presence of minors...) Kaz: So what do we do now? That man: Well... Priscilla wanted to see you... about something... (winks at Kazuya) Mel: Oh good! (dripping with venom) because I wanted to see her about something too! ;]] Bruce: Hehe... you hit the pot, boss! Kaz: Quit it! Red: Speaking of which... where is Aeris? Aeris or Jun, my dear friends has ultimately chained herself outside the Shinra gate... that is the reason you cannot enter there the first time you get to Junon. Of course later, when Aeris is dead, there's no one chained there so you may pay and get in... But instead, our heroes go down to the beach... where Priscilla is there indeed, in her bikini and pareo... Julia: Hey mr Dolphin! We've got company! Mr Dolphin: Ahaa... I see! (eyes her meaningfully) I'll be around... (winks) Kaz: Hi. Julia (smiling deeply): Hey... Bruce: Woohehe... Kaz: ... Julia: ... Red: Ahem... Julia: ? Red: I thought you had something for us? (hint, hint?) Julia: Oh? Oh yes, of course... (takes out a whistle and gives to Cloud) Julia: Here. Kaz: What is this? Julia: Well, when you blow the whistle, mr Dolphin comes and will give you a toss up there... Our heroes gaze up at the electric tower looming over their heads... Julia: You want to get to the top of the Shinra base, don't you? Kaz: I guess we do... Bruce can hardly control his excitement... Red: (whispering) What's so funny about? Julia: Well, here's the way... but be careful, don't get struck by the electricity... Bruce: MHMFMFMF! Red: Ahem... Julia: And to keep you safe... here's a lucky charm... (gives the Shiva summon materia... WEEEEEE!) Kazuya closes the materia in his palm and Julia's hand along... Julia: (silently) I'll miss you... Kaz: ... (looking down) Red: (to Bruce) Hum... If you're gonna say that line, the time is now! Bruce: Woohehehehe... I guess that'll be no problem for Cloud... because he's got SPIKY HAIR ALREADY, WAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! Our hero goes into the sea (after giving Bruce a black eye, but Bruce is still laughing...) Bruce: Woohe... woohehe... After many attempts, at which he gets nailed under the iron rods by his very spikes, our hero manages to get to the top of it, thanks to the patience of mr Dolphin... Mr Dolphin: Just as I thought you wouldn't say it. ...and the way to Junon is clear. Cloud, our hero is on the top... and he walks on inside the base... where... he finds great anxiety! Shnira guy 1: No! Not you again! Shnira guy 2: What monstrous apparition my vision beholds! Speak forth! Who art thou? Kaz: Of all, why did it have to be the Shakespeare fanclub? Shnira guy 2: You don't like Shakespeare? Kaz: I like Shakespeare, just not when~ Shnira guy 1: Nonono! You were supposed to say that you don't like Shakespeare, then this guy would say "so you don't like Shakespeare" and you would say that "no, I don't like Shakespeare" and then you'd go into a do not, do too loop! Kaz: Hell is this the only thing you can say? Shnira guy 2: ...er... yea... Shnira guy 1: There's something wrong with that? Kazuya raises his hands to the sky: How much more?!? Shnira guy 1: I've got to say he's got style... Shnira guy 2: Yea, he could do good... but it is so that... Shnira guy 1: Eh... see... Shnira guy 2: He's a little... Kaz: Forget it. I'll find it my own way. But as our hero goes on, bad news are on the way... the officer in command arrives... Commander (played by Jann Lee, no relationship with Chaolan Lee but still the Dead or Alive bench clap...): Hey! Where's your uniform? Kaz: I'm too sexy for my uniform! Commander: So, you're playing with the army? Come this way! Rufus will be here any moment! That was close! Our hero follows the commander, to avoid drawing suspicion... the commander takes him to the dressing room... Commander: Undress... Kaz: ...I beg your pardon? Commander: Take it off! Kaz: Hey, look... Commander: Not what you think you sicko! Kaz: Hmm? Commander: We don't all go thinking by your way! Take it all off and put the Shinra uniform on! Kaz: Oh. Our hero undresses as he's been told... Shnira guy 1: (hehehe... he sure is cute ;) Shnira guy 2: (I say, we take him in turns and blame it on the Commander?) Commander: (If anyone goes first, this is ME!) Kaz: I guess I know why I didn't like it with the Shinra... Kaz: Well? What do you think? Hey guys? Guys? Why are you locking the door? Commander: You two start singing... and no one will know a thing... To make the story short, Kazuya is being introduced to the Shinra way which is strikt, hard and painful to go by... (Outside the door) Shnira guy 1+2: RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA... ...and soon Kazuya emerges, dressed in a Shinra uniform, only the helmet is a little deformed to fit that spike and the Commander has a black eye... Shnira guy 1: Heheh... Shnira guy 2: Heheheh... Shnira guy 1: Uhuh... Shnira guy 2: Uhuhuh... Commander: Thut up! Kaz: (snicker snicker!) Commander: Annthou! Mov thour ath! (forces Kazuya to walk faster pushing his butt with a handful). Kaz: ! This moment is either funny or fearful to death, my dear ladies and gentlemen... Kazuya has to pass as a Shinra troop and get into the lines of the parade... right as everyone's watching the welcome ceremony for RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHIN~ well, the song is contagious... Succesfully our hero succeeds, as he recalls his military training and he follows the lines... still he gets a grenade for totally messing things up... Reporter: What was that soldier doing? Send him a bomb! Easiest grenade ever! At the Junon harbour... Shinra soldiers: RUUUFUS IS THE GREATEST (etc, etc) RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA! Yes, here he is... please a close up of Hwoarang... Female audience: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! ^_^ Kaz: Pfah! (grimaces to himself) Along is general Heidegger... who is being played by Zangief, allow me to remind you... Zangief: HuhUH! HuhUH! HuhUH! HuhUH! HUH! HuhUH! HuhUH! HuhUH! Rufus: STOP laughing! Z: Uhhh... Unghr. Rufus: We'll be leaving soon. I don't want mistakes! Girl from Audience: Siiiiigh... Isn't Hwoarang so great! *_* Jin: Way to go, pal! Hwoarang gives Jin the thumbs up... The young president Rufus Shinra in his expensive clothes enters the ship and then, all of a sudden, General Heidegger rushes our disguised hero, Cloud... and starts doing his rotating punches on him! After Heidegger has left... Kaz: (tottering) goo...gah... Soldier 1: Hey man, it's all your fault! Soldier 4: (yeah! Number 4 never shows up!) You messed up, you idiot! Soldier 3: Do you know what we do to those who mess up? Kaz: Uh-oh... Soldier 2: Yeah! You'd better uh-oh yourself! Kaz: Hey guys? Can't we solve this civilised? Soldiers advance to Cloud with mean intentions... Kaz: I guess not... Hey! Can I do the same thing as with Don Corneo's men? Me: Uh-oh! (negatively) Kaz: [Beep]! But then, the commander hurries to them... Commander: Hey! Kaz: Whew... Commander: You! Yeah, you, with the funny hair! Kaz: Oh, sikes! Commander: Are you playing with the army? Kaz: What if I am? Audience cheers for the selected answer. Commander: You think you're smart then? Off with me! You'll sing goodbye to Rufus! Follow me! Kaz: Yea... sure that's what you want me for! (winks) Commander: (winking) This and that ;) Kaz: Hmm, then again... why not... ;) Shinra guy 1: I'm here to help! Shinra guy 2: Me too! Commander: The more, the merrier! Let's all sing for Rufus! Shinra guy 1 + 2 + Commander + Kazuya (holding onto each other by the shoulders): RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA! Commander in solo: We'll teach you to -WALK THIS WAYYYY! TALK THIS WAY! And here my dear ladies and gentlemen, the narrator, yours truly leaves you as our hero disappears in the jolly company of the Shinra Commander and the two guys, singing in the sunset... err, almost, to prepare for the yet another test to come, that will be critical for the outcome of the daring mission... End Chapter 12 (In the distance): RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA, RUFUS SHINRA!