By Squall Morpheus Leonhart
He needed to scream, to scream and lose himself in the sound. To let go of all his emotions that he felt then and now. Yes, he wanted to scream, to scream loud and long. He needed to let go of everything, Weiss, Aya, and his life. For this moment in time he wanted to be Ran and only Ran, not the assassin Abyssinian, killer of all dark beasts. Yet wouldn't he be one of those beasts of the night? He needed the release. He needed to be sane once more.
It was raining and he was looking at the falling rain, watching as the lightning clashed above his head. He had run away from the Koneko earlier, trying to get away from the hurt that had come that evening. The hurt caused by Schuldich in his manipulative ways. How he said that he would never save Aya-chan. How he said that if he did, he would always be alone. The sad part was that Ran believed him. He was losing hope, the only thing that kept him alive.
He wanted to go back to his old life. He wanted to be with his family, the glorious past not the horrible present of today. Tears ran down his face was he watched the sky. Oh, how he wanted die and just leave the life that he had led but, no, he couldn't. He must get back his sister.
He must get his sister back, even at the cost of his own life. It wasn't like he had anything or anyone to go back to and his sister was most likely to never wake up. He had nothing but a slim fading hope. Soon that too he will lose, and what then? Emptiness, a void of everything, the dark abyss that awaits him. He was scared of it; no, he was scared of being alone again.
He was so much in his misery that he didn't feel the arms which were wrapped around him. All he wanted to do was scream. The arms tightened and Ran looked at the one who embraced him, Yohji. "Yohji?" Yohji turned him around and kissed his forehead, knowing all too well about the smaller man's anguish and woe. He too suffered from that sorrow. "Do you want a release, Aya?"
Ran shook at the sound of his sister's name. He couldn't do anything else; the cold of the night was finally getting to him. "Hai "
"Kiss me then, my love, kiss me, take me," Yohji whispered, his voice just above the rain.
And that was Ran did, he kissed Yohji, pressing his lips upon the blonde's not expecting a response yet the blond responded with all the love and care he had. Pulling back from the kiss he looked at the blond with half-lidded eyes reflecting desire and fear. Desire for the things to come and fear of what may happen. He had never been with a man before or even a woman. He thought himself too much tainted to be with them. Yet, Yohji was tainted just like him, correct? He would not mind, right? "You need this, Aya, just like me, let go of everything and fall into the feeling, the abyss," whispered Yohji, allowing Ran take control.
Ran hesitantly nipped at the blonde's neck unexpectedly pleased when the other man leaned into the touch. Growing more confident, he bit gently into the golden tower in front of his face; not enough to cause pain but just enough to give pleasure. The blonde's hands were around the redhead's waist, carefully pulling the black soaked turtle neck off. Ran moved his head to allow the older man to remove the garment. Once off, Ran's hands turned to Yohji's jacket and removed it without any more hesitation; all his fear was gone for the moment. For once, it was Ran in control, not Aya, not Abyssinian. Just the man Ran that once was alive and now like the phoenix he arose from the dead once more. Even if he could not be Ran in the daylight, perhaps in moments like these, draped in moonlight, he could be. He could be his former self in the moonlight.
Yohji gasped as Ran took his mouth from his neck to his chest, to his nipples. Thankful that he decided not to go with an under shirt this day, he arched his back, trying to lean further into the touch of the man before him. This could be assassin he knew this must be the one who his lover had been before. Aya was never this passionate, it was always Yohji but he never went as far as to actually kissing the redhead. He only brushed against the leader. A smile ghosted Yohji's lips as his thoughts turned to their first kiss; Ran had tasted like mint, wonderful mint and still did now.
Now they were naked in the rain, sprawled upon the wet green grass. Ran tasted Yohji's mouth again and moaned. This heaven tasted, like peppermint and cinnamon. He looked at Yohji with apprehension. The lanky Playboy motioned toward his pants. "Always kept one in case of emergencies," the blonde chuckled.
Ran reached over and took out the tube of lubricant. He placed some of the lavender scented gel on his hand before attacking the Playboy's nipples once more with his mouth. With each suckled motion, his fingers went in and out of the small ring of warmth. His eyes gazed deeply into the emerald gems as they shown pleasure and longing. Ran moaned delightedly against Yohji's chest.
Ran turned Yohji over positioning the blond man on his hands and knees, placing more of the gel onto his sex. Ran positioned himself behind his teammate placing his hands on his lover's hips, as he slowly eased himself into the blonde. Careful not to give his lover pain, he impaled himself slowly until he was fully in. He looked into those jade orbs once more. They wanted him to continue. Yohji bucked, impatient to get started and although Ran was hesitant, he complied. Ran was hesitant but he complied. His pale wet hands reached under the lanky body and held the organ there. It felt like warm clothed steel, throbbing under his hand. He moved and timed his ministrations with his hand to go in unison, under the rain that seemed to bless this union. His eyes closed in pleasure and his breath hitched as Yohji moaned, rocking within the rhythm the swordsman started.
For the first time Ran was in bliss. At that moment, he brushed against that one spot which made Yohji melt in his arms. Though his mind was hazy with pleasure, he tried to brush it once more, longing to hear his lovers cry. There, right there. Pleasure grew inside him as the tight muscles clenched around his organ. He was truly in heaven.
He was climbing a mountain so high; he feared he would never live long enough to reach the zenith. His pace remained slow, fluid and steady. He did not want to give his lover a normal stroll in the park like the Playboy's flings. He wanted Yohji to remember him and this one time.
Ran moved his hand from Yohji's hip and began to stroke the blonde's back like he would a cat. The redhead sworn that he made the man purred. The edges of his vision began to glow white and start to blind him. For one second, he wanted to speed up. Yet he withheld. This was Yohji's night.
His vision had gone almost white before finally blinding him as he reached his peak. He impaled himself once more, aiming at Yohji's pleasure source before releasing his seed, his essence, into the man. He almost collapsed from exhaustion but managed to continue bringing Yohji to the brink.
He felt Yohji stiffen as he poured his own seed on Ran's hand. Ran released the blonde from his hold as he withdrew to get his carelessly tossed shirt. He wiped his hand and Yohji's stomach. He turned the Playboy around and kissed those beautiful spiced lips under the rainfall. Amethyst eyes looked deeply into emerald orbs. Ran sighed and said, "Ai shiteru, Yohji-kun."
Suddenly Yohji began to grow cold as ice. Ran looked into those jade green eyes and watched the life fade out of them. He tried to hug Yohji to him but his hand felt moister than what it should. Ran looked at his hand and saw it cover in blood. He looked at Yohji again and found a knife embedded in the Playboy's stomach, a familiar knife.
It was the knife he hid in his boot. He looked down and saw he was fully clothed and where semen should be, was blood. Looking further down, he saw the fly of his pants was open. Ran looked at the dead body before him; it was not Yohji's but Aya's, his sister.
He fell to his knees and cried anew. The rain seemed to want to drown him for his act. He needed to scream, he wanted to scream. And he did, loud and long. It was a wordless cry that was drowned out by the rain. Yet to his own ears it was full of his anguish and woe. As he screamed he pulled out the bloody knife and impaled himself through his stomach with it. As he died screaming he felt himself go from one hell to another.
He was being shaken awake. Yet he was still trapped in his nightmare. Trapped in that hell, he did not want to face the light of day; he wanted to stay in the horror of his abyss. Finally he opened his eyes to the sound of birds chirping and looked at the people next to him, Weiss, all of whom were still in their assassins' garb. Yohji held his hand out to him, "We've been looking for you all last night, Aya. Let us go and greet the day and banish the night."
Ken looked at his leader, "You're not alone, Aya, we're here with you and for you."
Omi helped Ran up, "Come Aya-kun, it's a beautiful day."
Ran took their hands and stood, a faint smile on his lips. However the dream would always be on his mind. Or should it be called nightmare? Ran knew that one day he will tell the other how grateful he is for them and will finally tell them his true name, but for now he is Aya. Ran will only be a dream for now. Inside his head, a thought struck at him. What would happen if the nightmare were one reality? What happens that he will someday kill them in this one? What then? Ran shook his head and thought, 'I won't let that happen.' They were his family even though he yearned that one would not think of him so but much more. In their eyes he was their brother by heart not blood, he was their protector and leader. Though in this reality, Yohji isn't his. Yohji was never his.
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