Disclaimer: Weiss is not mine. Takehito Koyasu & Co won't give me Ken, either, but that is for the best. The lyrics are from the song "Cold" by Annie Lennix. It was the original inspiration for this whole thing.
Author's Notes: I glad you like this. ^^ I really am not used to writing this primary pairing. @ _ @ In fact, I NEVER use this pairing.... Ack, and I'm sorry there was so much Ken/Omi the last chapter. I'm REALLY trying to keep this fic focused around Aya and Yohji. I swear, the damn thing has a mind of it's own. -_-;
Dying Is Easy
Chapter 2 - Cold
I kept dwelling on that kiss until it consumed me. The way his lips fit over mine, the slight flutter of his closed eyelids right when he made contact, the expanse of his pale throat exposed by his leaning. God knows how I thought about the redhead every waking hour, and often even in dreams. Days, even weeks passed without me even noticing. Winter came, and winter would have gone without me, too, were it not for Omi. He looked horrified when he approached me in the flower shop. "Yohji," he pleaded, "you HAVE to help me!" The little bishonen attached himself to my arm, much to my amusement.
"What's wrong, Omi?" I gave him my best lady-killer smile, only to be given worried eyes. Something was really getting to Omi if he didn't either cheer up or make some smart-ass remark to me.
"Well, you know, Ken's birthday is in a few days... and not to mention Christmas... I just don't know what I'm going to do! I have to get him gifts, but I want them to be really special!" Omi pouted, slouching slightly. "I mean, what do I do if he doesn't like what I get him? Or, what if he has a date on his birthday and can't even spend time with me? Yohji, what if he has a girlfriend?! He might not have told us, you know. He didn't tells us with Eureka, or whatever!"
I had carefully keep my cool to not laugh. "Yurika was different, Omi. I think that was just one of Ken's fazes. I mean, you know him. He's like a wild horse in a poorly-built corral." I stretched slightly. "Anyway, it's not like you guys are a couple, so you shouldn't be worrying too much about this. You sound like a blabbering girl." All of this I meant in the best of ways, of course.
"Give him something unique," Aya suggested. He was sitting behind the cash register, sipping tea, with his eyes gently closed. He looked to be perfectly at peace. "If you give him something only you could possibly think to give, it makes it more personal. Knowing Ken, he would love that to no ends." Aya then took another sip of tea, apparently leaving the conversation on that note. As I've mentioned before, he seemed to like Omi; at least, more than me.
"You're right," Omi agreed, running to grab his coat. "I need to go out for a little while. Watch the shop!" With that, Omi raced out into the freezing winter air, leaving me alone with Aya. Of all the tragedies to befall me in one lifetime, this seemed to have them all topped.
"That was nice of you," I commented, trying to make small talk. Aya and I hadn't even really communicated in any way in a while, making my words sound and feel hollow. I could almost see the sound waves as they bounced off the walls back to my ears without ever touching the human icicle. It made me frown. I didn't want my words to fall on deaf ears. "Aya, we need to talk."
"Make it fast, then leave me alone, Kudou." He said my surname almost as if it were an insult. I knew it was simply a way of establishing that he didn't like being alone with me without saying it outright. Something like ice went strait through my heart. It still amazed me that anyone could be so cold.
~ Come to me/ Run to me/ Do and be done with me/ (Cold cold cold) ~
I took a deep breath, holding in the urge to bitch at Aya, or possibly just to slap him. Closing my eyes against a sudden wave of emotion, I had to wait a moment so my voice wouldn't hitch when I spoke. Finally, I managed, "Isn't it obvious, Aya? What I'm about to say, I mean. It isn't something that can be discussed over tea and crumpets and then move on with life. This is serious." I was a little annoyed that Aya's eyes were still closed, but I pressed on. "Aya, I have grown to accept that every inch of my being is now for you. I've dedicated my mind, body, and spirit to you. I can't deny any longer that this is how I feel."
"I don't feel the same, Kudou," Aya growled. "Now, go."
"No, Aya, I can't do that," I whispered, feeling irritation filling me. "Can't you hear me out, Aya? This is something that has been going on for a long time. You can't just ignore...."
"Yes, I can. Go." Aya's tone surprised me. It was nothing short of vicious, as if I were attacking him with my words. Wait... was I actually getting through to Aya? A small smile began to form on my face.
~ Don't I exist for you/ Don't I still live for you/ (Cold cold cold) ~
I crossed the room to Aya, advancing fast. he still refused to open his eyes. Finally, maybe out of frustration, I took him in my arms from behind, the back of his chair slightly separating us. I couldn't see his face, but I was sure those eyes were wide open now. "Kudou..." he growled, "I would suggest you let go of me."
I laughed quietly. Gently, I formed myself against him and the chair, letting my face fall by the base of his neck, where I let my warm breath graze over his skin. I could hear a small hiss as he was obviously enjoying the attention. "How long has it been, Aya? How long have you been alone? Let me fill that void...." I let my lips brush his skin ever-so-lightly, and he nearly jumped. Still, he hadn't tried to pull away... yet.
"Yohji... stop." His voice was still commanding, but he was starting to sound almost uncertain. This was a very good sign. Taking a leap of faith, I gently ran my lips along the curve of his ear, alternating between lightly blowing and kissing the skin there. No complaints from Aya? I grinned into Aya's skin. Maybe wooing him wouldn't be too hard.
~ Everything I possess/ Given with tenderness/ Wrapped in a ribbon of glass ~
"How do I know you aren't just pretending?" Aya asked quietly. He was sounding more and more doubtful of himself by the second. I was having a field day with this new Aya, too. This Aya would give me the edge I needed to maybe wedge my way into Aya's heart. Though, it would take time and patience, to say the least.
"Aya, it was you who was only faking that kiss before, remember?" God only knows, I did. That was something that I could never forget. After hours upon hours of toiling over every aspect of the moment, it was not something I was ready to forget. In fact, it was the one thing that made me lose more sleep than Asuka, God forbid.
"Was I?" Aya wondered, sounding a little dazed. Suddenly his body went ridged. Something told me Aya was about to snap.
~ Time it may take us but God only knows/ How I've paid for those things in the past ~
"Kudou, if you don't let go of me right now, I'll kill you!" Aya threatened, squirming a little in my arms. He sounded plenty serious, and I sure wouldn't put it past Aya to kill me like this. Frankly, though, I didn't care. Aya could complain all he wanted. I would make him mine, even if it did literally kill me.
"Do you think I fear death?" I asked quietly, whispering into Aya's ear. I could hear his sharp intake of breath, and it made me feel even more smug. Aya was getting confused again, which meant that I had a second chance, even after the death threat. "Aya, even if you did kill me, I would be content just to know that I died holding you, and that the last sound I would hear would be that of your breath."
"Yohji, please, don't tell me these things...." Aya sounded somewhere between alarmed and enchanted. All of this was shrouded in a veil of surprise and confusion.
"Aya, I could stay like this forever, just listening to you breathe and feeling your warmth." I finally choked out the words I'd been avoiding myself for the longest time. "Aya, I love you."
~ Dying is easy it's living that scares me to death/ I could be so content hearing the sound of your breath ~
Aya finally made enough room in my embrace to turn in his chair and look at me in shock. His violet eyes, were enchanting, taking all of my attention. They were normally so cold, like their own little slice of winter living on Aya's face. In that moment, though, they were still the color of an ice sickle in the misty starlight of a clear night after a snow storm. Each one it's own unique shade of violet like two snowflakes fallen from the heavens to land on his face.
I was lost in those eyes for so long that I hadn't realized I was leaning forward. Somehow, our lips met, much to my surprise, even though I'm sure I was the one who kissed him. My senses were bombarded with sensations. The small, the taste, the feel of Aya were all things I wanted to remember as long as I lived. I gently touched my tongue to his lips, surprised when he parted his lips to let me explore his mouth. In fact, I hadn't really noticed, but Aya was very responsive, pulling himself slightly out of the chair for better access to me. By the time we pulled back, I was standing at full height again, and he was on his knees, backward on the chair, facing me.
I let my forehead rest against his, not bothering to explain myself or what had just passed over the past few moments. Aya, being Aya, said nothing. I didn't really mind, though. I had a great view of his eyes from this angle. I noticed there was a small fleck of brown in the right eye and my lips curved into a smile. A small little wedge in his eyes... just like what I was trying to exploit in his heart.
~ Cold is the colour of crystal the snow-light/ That falls from the heavenly skies/ Catch me and let me dive under/ For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes ~
"Let me love you," I pleaded, breaking our long silence. "I want to be yours, Fujimiya Ran. I want to have it printed somewhere on my body that I belong to you and only you for as long as you'll have me." I raised a hand to lightly put it on Aya's cheek. I saw him swallow hard right as I did this.
"Yohji, we can't.... Ken and Omi...." Aya looked worried. Did he think that the others would really look down on us if we were together? At least he wasn't being frosty the snow bitch anymore.
"Please, Aya. Screw Omi and Ken. It doesn't matter what they think!" I moved away from the redhead's face. "I don't want to be alone anymore, and I can't let you be alone anymore, either." I saw the look on Aya's face chance to one of acceptance. Either he was actually starting to see I was right, or he was just going in give up to shut me up.
"How long?" Aya suddenly whispered, hiding his eyes from me with his hair by glancing down. I frowned. What the hell was he talking about. Luckily, he clarified, "How long have you been keeping this from me, Yohji? How long has this been going on?"
~ I want to be with you baby/ Slip me inside of your heart/ Don't I belong to you baby/ Don't you know that nothing can tear us apart ~
I blinked a few times. "I... I don't know...." I admitted. Then, I thought back to the first time I met Aya. He was nearly passed out on the Koneko floor after a fight with Ken, surrounded by trashed flowerpots, and looking like he had every intention of killing dear Hidaka Ken. His eyes were vivid, his skin wonderfully pale. Then... I noticed.... "Your hair, Aya. I think I was in love with your hair at the first sight."
Aya looked back at me, a smile threatening to grace his lips. "My... hair?"
"Yeah, I mean, I started liking other things as time went on, but I really loved your hair immediately." I grinned a cheeky grin that made the muscles in my face ache. Recalling my memories of Weiss weren't the horror one might expect. In fact, most of my good memories in my life were with the three men I'd come to know as my family. "But, as I grew to love you more and more, you only got colder. For some reason, I loved being teased, yearning to get my heart broken again and again because I couldn't have you." I laughed a little, finding my own stupid rambling quite amusing. "That's how it always is, ne, Aya?"
"I thought you only liked women...." Aya whispered, looking almost saddened. "All this time, I've thought I didn't stand a chance with you because...."
"Aya, it's okay." I leaned forward, putting two fingers over the confused redhead's lips. "I love you. I was using those girls to try to forget you. Obviously, that was a shitty plan, because I still love...."
The door of the shop swung open, stopping me in my tracks.
~ Telling you that/ I loved you right from the start.../ But the more I want you the less I get/ Ain't that just the way things are... ~
The room filled with a rush of freezing air as Ken slipped into the shop, closing the door as fast as possible. I'm sure he didn't even see us. He sighed, leaning against the door, as if glad it was closed. He then removed his gloves, shoving them in his pockets, and quickly removed his coat to hang in on the coat rack by the door. His sweater was a dark navy blue, a much more attractive color than any of Aya's. I almost giggled at the thought.
Ken turned, looking right at me. "Yohji, Aya, I didn't realize you were here," he commented. "I hope I'm not disturbing you." He gave a gentle bow, and walked past us, pausing at the top of the stairs to Aya's voice.
"Have you decided yet, Ken?" Aya asked. It surprised me. I hadn't realized the two of them would talk if they didn't have to. But, Aya looked almost conversational, though intense, staring at Ken as if it were a critical question. Ken turned to us, smiling like he was the cat who ate the canary, and winked. Giving Aya a thumbs up sign, he turned again, walking down the stairs, and most likely to his room. I looked to Aya for an explanation. He just said in deadpan, "He is going to try to catch Omi under the mistletoe this Christmas. He wants to admit his feelings."
I blinked in surprise. So, the idiot was finally going to make his move. "It's about damn time," I grumbled.
"Let's go outside," Aya suggested, suddenly having to hide a twinkle in his eyes. "I... I love the cold."
"You would," I commented.
"No, you would," he shot back. Was that... a witty remark? Blasphemy!
"Aya... you?" I don't even know what I was asking, but Aya was walking away, so a followed him out the door into the cold Tokyo night. Instantly, cold violently tore through my skin, almost as if it would rip the fragile material off like petals in the wind. I looked at Aya, and I could tell he was feeling the same thing, but he liked it. Crazy masochistic....
"Yohji, I don't feel the same," Aya said again, as if our conversation hadn't advanced at all. I nearly died hearing the words. After all my progress.... Aya sounded like his old self when he added, "But, I am willing to give this a try. I promise nothing."
I had to blink tears from my eyes. "Thank you, Aya."
~ Winter has frozen us/ Let love take hold of us/ (Cold cold cold) ~
I wrapped Aya in my arms, instantly stealing his warmth, but liking it. I could tell he had been shivering too, though he would never had admitted that. He let himself be taken into my arms, just as the moon came out from behind a dark, apparently black cloud. The moonlight played on the black ice below us like a light moving over glitter. Without my consent, I was smiling. Finally, things were going my way.
~ Now we are shivering/ Blue ice is glittering/ (Cold cold cold) ~
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