Heart In Chains
Erestor sat quietly near the fireplace, watching the flames dance. None of the other elements ever seemed so alive to him, as flames. Fire seemed to have a life – and a will – of its own.
“The Lady Galadriel sent me,” said one of Galadriel’s personal guards, announcing his presence. He had already cleared his throat in the hope to attract Erestor’s attention, but the other Elf had ignored him.
Shaken from his musings, Erestor tiredly pushed himself to his feet. “I am ready.” He had tried to mentally prepare himself for the pain that would follow shortly, but had failed. He was tense, slightly afraid and he basically didn’t want to do this. But he also realized he had little choice. “I will follow you.” He gathered his black cloak around him and stared at the guard.
The guard frowned, seeing large, chocolate eyes in a sea of blue. Had his Lady rubbed blue paint onto Erestor’s brow? He had seen it once before; at Galadriel and Celeborn’s wedding to be precise. It had been the Lord of the Golden Wood’s brown that had been blue back then. He knew it had a certain ceremonial, maybe even spiritual, meaning, but that was a secret that had remained undisclosed to him. And now Erestor was wearing it as well.
Erestor forced his nervousness into a distant corner of his mind. He consoled himself with the thought that at least now he knew what to expect. The first time Elrond had claimed him had been a shocking experience to him.
Following the guard, Erestor hid his features in the shadow of his hood. He sensed a presence and looked up into the talan, and found Galadriel standing there, her face utterly expressionless. The sight of her caused shivers to run down his back and he quickly averted his eyes.
“This is where Lord Elrond is staying,” said the guard. “We distracted Lord Glorfindel and will make sure you won’t be interrupted tonight.”
Glorfindel of Gondolin. The reborn Balrog Slayer had accompanied Elrond here, then. Erestor had met him once before, only briefly, but the azure eyes had radiated kindness back then. He nodded, affirming he had heard and understood, and then opened the door to soundlessly make his way inside.
The door was closed behind him and he drew in a deep breath, finding Elrond asleep on the bed. Galadriel had probably given him a sleeping potion so the half-Elf wouldn’t be completely lucid when claiming him. For one moment he asked himself if Elrond had ever wondered about the night in which they had bound. Did the Peredhel think of it as a dream or was Elrond convinced it had really happened? /Even if he believes it happened, he never tried to find me./
Releasing the breath that he had involuntarily been holding, he walked toward the bed. With a single movement from his hand, he undid the belt and let his robes and cloak slide down his body. Looking at Elrond, he wondered why the half-Elf had hurt him so badly that first time… Would history repeat itself? Would he end up torn and bleeding again? /Asking myself these questions is pointless. I had better do this now. Then, I can return to my rooms and wait there for Haldir./
He knelt on the bed. The movement made Elrond stir and the gray eyes half-opened. The misty expression in them told him that Galadriel had indeed drugged Elrond. “Everything will be all right in the end.” Even though Elrond had caused him pain in the past, he couldn’t help but reach out now. Millennia ago he had promised Elwing to take care of the twins. He had lost Elros to mortality, but at least Elrond was still alive.
Elrond sounded confused and Erestor instantly soothed him. “Nay, I am not Celebrian.” Still kneeling, he waited for Elrond to act.
And act the half-Elf did. “Ereinion?”
Elrond unexpectedly sat up and grabbed Erestor which a force he didn’t expect. Erestor yielded at once, knowing that struggling would only increase the pain. He forced himself to remain motionless when Elrond laid him down on his back, forcing his legs apart with a knee. Tightly closing his eyes, he prepared himself for the invasive pain and hoped Elrond would finish quickly.
“I missed you, Ereinion. I thought you had left me. Thank you for visiting me in this dream.”
/A dream?/ So Elrond thought this was a dream? Erestor shivered, feeling Elrond’s probing fingers explore his body. Suddenly they focused on his nipples, teasing them into hardness. He gasped at the unexpected sensation and when a moist tongue played with them, he involuntarily arched his back.
“So eager. You always were eager, melme,” Elrond purred with a need that had to be met. “You are mine. You will never leave me again.”
Erestor’s eyes opened, startled, sensing the head of the half-Elf’s erection against his opening. “Nay, please…” He hadn’t wanted to beg, but memories of pain, tearing and bleeding made him go rigid. If Elrond took him now, the half-Elf would certainly injure him.
“What is amiss, Ereinion? You never stopped me before.”
Erestor held his breath, as Elrond searched his eyes and he quickly closed them, stopping the half-Elf from imprinting them in his memory. Galadriel would be furious if he didn’t play his part. /But the pain… I remember it too clearly!/
Elrond suddenly shifted atop of him, maneuvered him into the desired position and he found himself lying on the side of the bed. His feet were now planted firmly on the floor and Elrond slid his arms beneath his buttocks, lifting them slightly.
Erestor felt utterly exposed and vulnerably and opened his eyes, only to find Elrond kneeling on the floor. The half-Elf suddenly leaned in closer and the moist tip of the Peredhel’s tongue now teased against his opening. Elrond’s tongue danced against his entrance and suddenly dipped inside, making him cry out at the sensation, which was surprisingly pleasant. The other thing that completely stunned him was the fact that he had grown erect. His hard flesh stood proud and Erestor thought he would faint when Elrond’s fingers curled around it, stroking firmly. His fingers clawed at the sheet, hating himself for being this weak and helpless. But even more he hated himself for enjoying it.
Then Elrond’s talented tongue dipped deeply into his passage, leaving him whimpering softly. He was close to finding release and wondered if Elrond would make him come. Staring at Elrond in bewilderment, he read the half-Elf’s intent in his stormy eyes when the Peredhel pulled back.
“I apologize,” whispered Elrond in a sincere tone. “I thought you had prepared yourself for me, like you always do when we make love. I do not seem to have any oil, but I will be careful, I promise.”
Elrond’s words slightly reassured Erestor, who suddenly understood why the half-Elf had hurt him that first time. /He thought I had prepared myself. He never wanted to hurt me./
He wasn’t allowed more time to ponder this revelation, as Elrond pushed him back into the center of the bed. After kneeling on the bed, Elrond grabbed his hips, and pushed a pillow beneath them. Erestor swallowed hard, knowing what would come next. /By the Grace of the Valar, please let him finish quickly!/ He stared at the ceiling, bit his bottom lip and clawed at the pillow.
Suddenly Elrond’s fingers wrapped around his shaft, and continued to pump him. Soon, he was moaning softly, and in the throes of impending orgasm. This encounter was nothing like he had thought it would be!
When Elrond finally entered him, Erestor went limp and tried to relax, knowing it would hurt less that way. But Elrond still felt huge inside him and the half-Elf’s hard flesh caused a burning sensation deep inside him. At least Elrond was inching inside *slowly* and the pain was not as bad as it had been that first time.
“Meleth-nîn? Why are you this tense? Am I not pleasing you? I know you prefer to be taken hard, but I thought…”
“Hard?” Erestor gasped the moment Elrond completely sheathed himself. He was afraid to even draw in his next breath, but he had to say something! “I do not wish to be taken hard. Please be gentle with me.”
“As you wish, melamin.”
Erestor was doing his best to remain motionless and to relax his tense muscles, but was doing poorly. However, that changed when Elrond suddenly leaned in closer, somehow managing to claim his lips and engaging his tongue in a sensual dance.
Elrond thrust for the first time and Erestor groaned into the other’s mouth. The burning sensation grew worse and tears were beginning to build in his eyes.
“Melme? I can feel your distress. What am I doing wrong?” Elrond was at a loss. Ereinion had never reacted like this before when they had made love!
“Do not stop… Continue!” Erestor hissed the words, eager to get this ordeal over with. His member had softened and tears flowed down his face.
“Nay…” Elrond had no idea what was wrong, but although his need to find release was overwhelming, he wanted to please his lover as well. “I won’t leave you behind.”
Erestor was taken aback, feeling Elrond’s lips close over his. The passion in the kiss which Elrond delivered to him surprised him and he found himself reacting, kissing the half-Elf back. Agile fingers were coaxing him back to hardness and when the next thrust came, Elrond timed it with the stroke which he delivered to his erection.
Erestor’s eyes almost bulged from their sockets, feeling impending orgasm built in him and he buried one hand in Elrond’s dark mane. During the next moments his world narrowed to their lovemaking and he instinctively met Elrond’s next thrust by arching his back. Soon, they had established a rhythm and Erestor was moving along with Elrond, lifting his hips to meet the Peredhel half way. A few more firm strokes delivered to his shaft pushed him toward ecstasy. Unable to hold back, he bit down on Elrond’s bottom lip when he reached orgasm.
Elrond surrendered to the divine sensation of Erestor’s inner muscle contracting around his throbbing member. As his lover was suckling on his bleeding lip, he was careful not to move his head, but he managed to deliver one last stroke, which catapulted him to orgasm as well. Buried deeply inside his lover, he released his seed.
Erestor finally released the bleeding lip and stared at Elrond in disbelief. The half-Elf had brought him to orgasm, had not left him behind, just as he had promised. But why? /He thinks you are Ereinion,/ supplied the rational part of his mind that was still functioning. /He loved Ereinion./
“Stay with me, meleth-nîn. Do not leave me alone again,” pleaded Elrond in a heartbreaking tone. “I need you here with me, even if you are only a dream.” In order to make sure that he wouldn’t be left alone, he wrapped his arms and legs around the Elf beneath him. His sated flesh had left the other’s body and he now snuggled up to him.
Erestor wasn’t sure what to make of Elrond’s request and simply remained motionless. That tactic had served him well tonight. Releasing the fabric he had been clawing at, he placed his hands on Elrond’s lower back, which was the only place he could easily reach. His connection to the half-Elf told him that Elrond was falling fast asleep and he called upon his last strength, letting it flow into the half-Elf’s mind and body, losing consciousness in the process.
An hour later, Erestor finally woke, finding that Elrond was still resting atop of him. The Peredhel had cuddled up to him and was subconsciously rubbing his shoulder. The small, affectionate gesture took him aback. /Oh, I could have loved you,/ he realized that instant.
Elrond mumbled something unintelligible, which urged Erestor into action, realizing the half-Elf would wake up shortly. Briefly he rebelled against his fate. Why couldn’t he stay here and reveal himself to Elrond? Maybe the half-Elf would accept him in his life?
/Galadriel will never allow it./
Erestor wriggled away from underneath Elrond and rolled away from the half-Elf. Experimentally he sat up. Although he felt sore, the pain he had felt that first time remained absent. Elrond had been careful not to tear him, for which he was grateful.
Seeing Elrond shiver, Erestor reacted instinctively by covering him with a warm blanket. It would take Elrond some time to recover from losing his wife, but the Peredhel was strong and would overcome his grief. He just hoped he didn’t have to be intimate with Elrond ever again. Although he had enjoyed their mating, he still worried about another pregnancy. What if he had conceived? Elrond had found release inside his body, so it was possible he had conceived. But only time would tell if he was with child – or children – again.
Erestor slowly pushed himself to his feet after gathering his robes and slipped into them. He draped his cloak over his shoulders and gingerly made his way over to the doorway. Looking back over his shoulder, he wished Elrond loved him as much as the half-Elf had loved Ereinion.
Once Erestor had returned to his room, he went into the bathroom to clean himself up. After slipping into a soft nightshirt, he made his way over to his bed, where he curled up on his side. Still feeling sore, he wished Haldir were here to ease the burden he was forced to carry, but he wasn’t sure the guardian would still want anything to do with him once Haldir found out he had allowed Elrond to bed him -- again.
Involuntarily his hand settled over his abdomen. /Did I conceive? And if I did, will I lose this little one as well?/ Galadriel had already told him she didn’t care about his ‘bastards’, but what about Elrond? Wouldn’t the half-Elf want to know he had fathered and lost twins? /But do I really want to burden him with that knowledge? They died and there is nothing he can do about it. Telling him would not be fair./
“Erestor? Lirimaer?” Haldir, who had hurried back to his lover’s side, startled at seeing Erestor’s body language. He had sneaked away from camp and had to return within the hour, but he had to make sure Erestor was well and safe.
“Haldir?” Erestor’s eyes opened, revealing his shock. Staring into the march warden’s hazel eyes, he was overcome by shame and quickly looked away.
Haldir’s heart clenched with pain, finding Erestor averting his gaze. “Aiya, nay… Do not tell me she hurt you again.” He sat down on the side of the bed and waited for Erestor to make eye contact with him. When the chocolate eyes finally met his, he read the truth in them. “She forced you to lay with him.”
“She did not force me,” whispered Erestor in a broken tone, wondering if he had lost Haldir’s love. “It was the only way.” Seeing Haldir’s skeptic look, he explained, “When Elrond is in pain, I am in pain. When he grieves, I grieve. When he begins to fade, I begin to fade. Reaffirming this bond was the only way to stop his grief from becoming worse and dragging me under with him. When he feels stronger, I feel stronger.”
Haldir finally understood. “You could no longer bear the pain.”
“I had the choice between continuing to live this half life or to submit to Elrond and empower him. By doing that, I empowering myself. I will endure the pain and humiliation of being claimed because it makes me stronger in the end.” Erestor hoped against all odds that Haldir understood why he had let Elrond take him. “But…”
“But what?” Haldir raised an eyebrow.
“I might have to do ‘it’ again in the future. I do not know if this one time was enough to strengthen Elrond sufficiently.”
Haldir gnashed his teeth at hearing that, recalling the state Elrond had left Erestor in millennia ago. “Let me check on you.”
“He was gentle this time,” said Erestor between clenched teeth. “He did not make me bleed.”
“I need to see for myself,” said Haldir determinedly. “I would not put it beyond you to play this down whilst you are hurting.”
Erestor knew better than to fight Haldir on this. “Then convince yourself.” Reminding himself that he trusted the silver-haired Elf unconditionally, he allowed Haldir to examine his lower body.
Haldir was relieved to find no blood clinging to Erestor’s thighs. “Erestor, I wish I could stay, but I have to return to camp.”
“Go, then,” whispered Erestor in understanding. “Galadriel may try to keep you away from me, but I carry you inside my heart.”
Touched by Erestor’s words, Haldir leaned in closer and brushed the raven-haired Elf’s already bruised lips. “Elrond had better be gentle with you. He will answer to me if he is not and I do not care if Galadriel approves of that or not. I promised to protect you.”
Erestor raised his right hand and caressed Haldir’s face. “I know you will always look out for me.”
Haldir regretted the fact that he had to leave, but after placing one last kiss on Erestor’s brow, he pushed himself to his feet and resolutely left the room. He would use every opportunity that presented itself to sneak back to Erestor.
Still feeling Haldir’s lips pressed against his brow, Erestor snuggled deeper beneath the blankets and quickly drifted off into reverie.
The next morning, Galadriel visited with Elrond, as she was eager to find out if the half-Elf was improving. Her guard had reported to her that Erestor had gone to Elrond and had returned in a rather rumpled state, which led her to believe that he had kept his part of the bargain.
“Good morning,” she said calmly, careful to hide her curiosity. Studying Elrond, she found that her son in law looked rumpled as well. He was constantly fussing over his bottom lip, which for some elusive reason was bleeding. But he did look better than when she had left him last night.
“Good morning,” said Elrond slowly, blinking his eyes.
“You look troubled. Is anything amiss?” Galadriel seated herself next to the window from where she could effortlessly observe him.
“Lots is amiss,” whispered Elrond absentmindedly. Should he confide in her? Could he? He had known her for millennia and she had become dear to him. In some ways he looked upon Celeborn and Galadriel as the parents he had never known. Elwing and Eärendil were only vague memories to him.
“Then why do you not tell me?” suggested Galadriel carefully. “Maybe I can help?”
“I doubt it,” sighed Elrond, distressed. He looked over at her from where he was sitting on the bed. “I am at a loss to what happened last night.”
Galadriel raised an eyebrow and feigned ignorance. “What do you think happened, then?”
“I… I had a visitor.” Elrond frowned, shook his head, but failed to clear it from the cobwebs. “”Tis happened before… Three millennia ago.”
Galadriel knew she had to tread carefully. “What did? I hope you know you can tell me everything that troubles you. I will never betray your trust. You are very dear to me, Elrond.” So dear that she had sacrificed Erestor to keep him alive.
“Someone made love to me last night…” Elrond blinked again. “At first I thought it was my wife, but the dark hair and masculine form led me to believe Ereinion had returned to me, so I dismissed it as a dream.”
“But?” Galadriel was growing worried. The potion should have led Elrond to believe it was Ereinion, his long lost lover, but it seemed the drug hadn’t been strong enough.
“It was not him. I know the way his body moves beneath me. This was a stranger and yet…”
“What?” Galadriel carefully hid her agitation. What had Erestor done? Had he found a way to manipulate her in turn?
“He was scared of me. I did not realize that at first, but he was not trembling due to passion, but because he was afraid of me. He…” Elrond strained his memory. “He begged me not to hurt him and to be gentle instead.”
“You had a very vivid dream, then,” said Galadriel, hoping to convince Elrond it had just been a dream.
“Nay, not a dream. And it was not a dream three millennia ago either.”
“And what leads you to that conclusion?”
“There was blood,” said Elrond, meeting her gaze, and wondering about the expression in those blue orbs. “Whoever made love with me was inexperienced and I tore him… badly. I still feel guilty for doing that to him. If only I knew who he was.”
“Probably someone who had learned of your grief for the High-King and wanted to take advantage of that. And last night most certainly was a dream. There are guards posted at your door and they would have alarmed us if there had been an intruder.” Galadriel rose from the chair and moved toward him. She rested a hand on his shoulder and then said, “It was a dream, Elrond, and nothing more.”
For some reason Elrond’s instincts kicked in, warning him not to object and he nodded, pretending to believe her. “Aye, it probably was just a dream.”
“Try to rest today,” said Galadriel as she made her way to the doorway. “When night falls, I will bring you more of that sleeping potion, but I will make it less potent this time.”
Elrond watched her leave the room, and realized she was keeping something from him. He had known her long enough to read her like an open book. Now that a problem presented itself, he momentarily forgot about Celebrian. /I wonder what secret she is keeping./
Erestor had wrapped himself up in warm blankets and allowed Orophin to fuss over him. When the silver-haired Elf had joined him shortly after sunrise, Orophin had seemed shocked, finding him pale and skinny. Orophin hadn’t seen him for weeks as he had been out patrolling constantly.
“Erestor, you need to eat.” Orophin reached for Erestor’s thin fingers and wrapped them around the bowl of soup, which he had fetched from the kitchens. “You are not taking care of yourself.”
Erestor gave him a long, loving glance. “Why are you here, Orophin? You are tired yourself. You just returned from an exhausting patrol and should be sleeping instead.”
“I worry about you,” admitted Orophin in a soft tone. He cleared his throat and nervously shuffled his feet. “I heard Elrond Half-Elven is here.”
Erestor reluctantly sipped his soup, knowing Orophin wouldn’t leave him alone until he had eaten something. “You heard correctly, then.”
“Is it happening again?” asked the silver-haired sentry, unexpectedly probing Erestor’s chocolate eyes. “Did he hurt you again? Is that why you are… in this way?”
Sighing, Erestor realized he had to be honest with the sentry. “Orophin, you know I am bound to Elrond. Why are you asking these things when you already know the answer?”
“He did hurt you!” exclaimed Orophin, indignantly.
Releasing another sigh, Erestor shook his head. “He did not hurt me. I went to him willingly.” /And I will allow him to bed me again tonight./ His connection to Elrond told him that the half-Elf still needed him. Hopefully, it would be the last time ever he had to submit to the Peredhel.
Orophin shook his head. “”Tis not fair.”
Erestor agreed. “You are right; ‘tis not fair.”
“What if…” Orophin was afraid to finish the sentence, not wanting to worry Erestor if the raven-haired Elf hadn’t thought about it himself.
“What if I conceive again?” finished Erestor for him.
Orophin nodded, worried. “I saw the way you retreated into yourself when you lost them.”
“I do not know if I will survive losing another one. I pray to Elbereth I won’t conceive again.” But in the pit of his stomach, he felt queasy, afraid he was already pregnant.
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