Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Where the broken reigns, When the shattered knows.

By Altricial

       

"Love stinks."

I looked up from my Quidditch book and nodded knowingly towards my best friend, who has conveniently dubbed me as her new "girl buddy", which is why I'm currently stuck in the girl's dorm. "Uh huh, tell me about it. I sense trouble in paradise. What’s up?"

"Ron is nice, you know?" Hermione paused to admire her freshly (and magically) polished nails. "It's been a long time, actually, make that never. I've never felt this goofy and girly about anyone before, despite the fact he drives me nuts most of the time. It's kinda cute, really. I'm happy just being around him." Her eyes glazed over and she gave a half sigh.

"And that is really bad because...?" I smirked and reached for my mug of hot Butterbeer. I knew Hermione well enough to know exactly what she was about to say.

"I think Ron and I are falling for each other," Dismissing my overly-triumphant grin, she continued indignantly, "and I don’t know what to do."

"Hmm...tough one. Ok, let’s get the scenario straight alright? Boy meets Girl." I made a grab for one of her teddy bears with a blue ribbon and wriggled it in front of her nose.

"Girl meets Boy." I snatched up Lavender's teddy bear with a pink ribbon this time.

"Boy likes Girl and Girl likes Boy!" Dramatically, I nudged both the bears towards each other until they were nose to nose and I started making sickening smoochy noises.

"Now, now, what shall we do?" I raised my eyebrow at Hermione.

Her response came in the form of three flying pillows.

After the giggles subsided, she hugged the two little bears and whispered, "I’m scared." She rubbed her nose against the blue-ribboned bear. "It’s going to hurt. Love always does."

I recognised that look on her face. She’s planning to run away from her feelings. Something I am particularly good at. Something I’m not going to allow her to do.

I took the bears out of Hermione's hands and told her something I knew, "Nothing hurts more than knowing you gave up your one shot to something that might have been wonderful. Something most people go through life in search of but left with nothing but a hollow heart."

"I realised that I’ve never allowed myself to really fall in love. Not that I've met anyone worthy of it. Until now, that is. I don’t like being out of control. It scares me." Her beautiful face encased by a frown.

Through my interactions with my fellow human and wizarding folks for the past 16 years, I’ve discovered that deep within me, there is a chamber somewhere that contains a whole junk of gibberish nonsense. Whenever somebody decides to entrust me with a share of their emotional burden, that chamber gets activated and bubbles of quotes and advice would somehow emerge through my oral cavity.

And at this very moment, there is a huge bubble of whatsoever right at the back of my throat.

Flapping my arms around urgently, I succeeded in gaining Hermione's undivided, though bewildered, attention.

"Don’t talk until I’m done, ok? Ok. Isn’t it scarier to know that you’ll never know what it truly is like just to love and be loved in return? Being in control is overrated. As opposed to contrary beliefs, people are not out to hurt you. The only person who can block your path to happiness is yourself. When emotions are involved and when you surrender your feelings to passion, pain is inevitable. I’m not going to lie to you and paint you an idealised picture of love conquering all. It is going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride, my friend. The course of true love never did run smooth."

After a thoughtful pause I continued, "But it is worth it. That is something I can promise you. That is something I know. I can’t predict what the future holds for you and Ron, but life goes on. Nobody said the best of loves are the ones that last. But you’ll always know that there was a time when Love knocked on your door and you found the courage to let it into your heart. That is the only thing that matters."

I took a deep breath and blinked at Hermione.

She blinked back at me.

I blinked again.

Finally she spoke. "Whoa. I was right when I said you've got the potential to be a girl's best friend."

With a exasperated sigh, I rolled my eyes and said, "Yes, thank you for that kind assessment and even more for announcing that disconcerting revelation during breakfast. Seamus is still calling me Harina."

She threw a marshmallow on my head and collapsed into another giggling fit. Only this time we had to call for a time-out to remove gooey sugary puffs from each other’s hair. After we managed to get our manes into their previous confectionary-free state, Hermione handed me a fistful of Every Flavour Beans and plopped herself down next to me.

"Remember when you tried being The Boy Who Got All Angsty and denying your feelings for Mal-, I mean, Draco, in the beginning? I advised you to follow your heart."

"And I did, maybe now’s your turn." I popped the vomit-flavoured goodness into my mouth and grinned at her.

"Or maybe..." She emphasised. "We should stop dispensing our crap advises to each other since it's apparent our love lives suck to a spectacular extent, even according to magical standards."

I shook my head and took a quick swig of Butterbeer to wash the horrid bean down my throat. "Listen. Yes, I pretty much lost my mind when it was over. I whined. I cursed. I turned bitter because something special was taken away from me and it rendered me helpless. But never once did I regret any part of it. Falling in love with him was one of the best things that had ever happened to me."

I let my body fall back on the bed and stared up towards the ceiling. "In my moments of darkness and despair, when loneliness became too much to bear, I close my eyes and relish the moments we shared. The times when we stayed up all night, just holding and talking. The time when I was so drunk on elation that I confessed to him my childhood crush on Simba, The Lion King. I've always had a thing for blondes. How he teased and how I laughed. It never failed to make me smile."

I turned towards Hermione and smiled at her through shining eyes. "He never fails to make me smile."

Several minutes of silence later, Hermione sat upright and started ruffling through my hair. "It’s kinda sad, isn’t it? That we may know all the magic in the world and yet never have control over fate and destiny. Whoever said 'it's better to have loved and lost than never loved at all' ought to be fed to Mrs Norris." She mused. "But, you do know that you’ll have to let go and move on eventually, right?"

"I know. I will. When the times come. When I meet..." I paused for dramatic theatrical effect before spitting out the dreaded words. "The One. Sometimes I think, he may still be..."

Hermione groaned. She buried herself beneath the covers and let out a strangled cry. "I don’t know if I believe in The One anymore!"

Oh dear, I felt another bubble of rants (a smaller one this time, thankfully) from the aforementioned chamber of bullshit. I should seriously consider reducing my weekly dosage of soap operas, especially that of "The Adventures of The Pansy Phoenix in search of The Nest of Luuurve". Oh well, let’s hear what I have to say this time. Frankly, I’m pretty curious myself.

"There is someone out there destined for everyone. But only the few who embrace that faith and hold out for it will meet their special someone. I’m not settling for second best. Even if I have to take the road less travelled to find The One, so be it. It’ll be hard but at least there will be sights along the way that only I had the privilege to see."

Under the blanket came a muffled murmur. "Sometimes when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing."

"Maybe you should consider cutting down on your weekly obsession with The Pansy Phoenix." I poked the bundle of cloth next to me. "Loneliness scares me too. But when I think back on my loneliest moments, there is usually someone next to me. That scares me even more. Anyway, I won’t be too lonely; I’ve got my hot pink multi-directional dildo, courtesy of Fred and George. Have I introduced you to my faithful lover?"

Suddenly, Hermione shot out of her cushiony shield and announced, "I HATE THIS!" She bounced around on the bed, waving her wand everywhere to highlight her points. "I hate love. I hate men, no offence, girlfriend. I hate Valentine’s Day and everything lovey dovey. I hate wanting to love. I hate not daring to love. I hate all the songs and fairy tales and movies and stories about that goddamn True Love."

She slumped back down on her blanket in defeat and rested her head on my lap. "Life should come with a manual."

"Have you tried the library?" I half-scoffed. "Love is complicated as it is without us trying to categorise it into True Love, Perfect Love or Whatsoever Love. Love is love. It is ecstasy. If I was offered even a half chance at happiness, I’ll take it."

I stroked her hair gently, hoping in vain to sooth her troubled mind. "And here, as your best friend, I hope you will too."

"Me too. Thanks, Harry. I hope Draco knows what he's missing out without you."

"Yeah, me too."

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