Warnings – This fic contains scenes of graphic sex of the m/m variety. It also contains obscene amounts of pink fluff.
Pairings – 1x2 3x4
Unbreakable, Unbeatable, Untouchable
By Dannii Malfoy
I have no idea what is going on. Everyone is acting strange. Duo hasn't uttered a word since lunch, Heero looks happy, and Wufei... well Wufei hasn't been seen. He ate his lunch out of the flat, and never came through for dinner. I wonder if he's studying.
Trowa seems to know what's happening, but he won't tell me. He keeps shooting glances at Heero and Duo, but neither has noticed. They are acting differently towards each other as well. It's as if... well... it's like it's there way of telling us they are together. They haven't argued and Heero hasn't once told Duo that he's going to kill him.
I know to most people that doesn't sound like much, but for Heero... it's different. Everything about Heero is different. He's such a reserved person. He doesn't let anyone get close... well apart form Duo. Duo seems to have gotten through the barriers he has built around his heart. Heero seems almost... happy... when they are together.
It makes me sad to see them as happy as that and know it could all go wrong very easily. It makes me think of Kieran...
What can I say about Kieran? He was my first love. My first everything. We met when he applied for the room that Duo now occupies. When I first saw him it was like a dream come true. He was gorgeous, and charming. He was one of those people who you know you can trust. Yes, I got all this from one meeting. I gave him the room, and he was exceedingly grateful. I didn't know of his past, but apparently he had been made homeless and was desperate. I must have been like an oasis in a desert.
It makes me sick to think of this now. To think of the way he used me. It was all an act. The charm, the kindness. Everything about him was fake. He told us he was a model, and I of course believed every word he said. Up until that point he had given me no reason to doubt him, but it soon changed.
One night he came into my room and kissed me. I was shocked at first, but once I got over it, I eagerly kissed him back. It was heaven. I was crazy about him, but I had never thought he felt the same way. He had given us the impression that he was straight, model or not.
We slept together that night. I lost my virginity to him on the 24th of September. The date is etched into my mind even till this day. At the time it felt so right, but looking back, I realise it was not supposed to be like that. He was rough... violent even. He liked to hit me, even that first time. I had no past experiences to base what it was supposed to feel like, and I thought my hesitation was normal for your first time.
It hurt. He didn't bother to prepare me. I was clueless to the basics of gay sex, and I had no idea that he had done something wrong... that I was not supposed to scream like that. It seemed to egg him on, and I was not pushing him away, so he continued.
The next morning I was sore. He knew that, and he seemed so considerate. He offered to take care of me, but by that he meant something different to what I had thought. He tied me to the bed and made me take him, with him on top of course. He didn't prepare himself either, and screamed in pain, but he seemed to relish in it. I hated every moment of it, and tried to push him away, hating what I knew I was doing to him, but he slapped me.
That was when I realised something was wrong. He had hit me, and I knew that was not normal. However limited my experiences were, I was not stupid, and I definitely did not appreciate violence in any form, especially from a lover.
I kicked him off me, and lay there, unable to move as I was still tied down. He lay on the floor, eyes wide at what I had done. He looked angry at first but that soon changed. A look of sorrow came over his features and he untied me, and took me into his arms. He whispered into my ear how sorry he was, telling me he just got carried away. I believed him, and it certainly wasn't the last time I believed him about something like that.
We got into a relationship... of sorts. I fell in love with him, despite the fact that he repeated what he had done that first night. He always took me into his arms afterwards and told me how sorry he was, how much he loved me. I felt myself falling deeper, relishing in those moments where he was so caring, and he appeared to fall for me too, if his words were anything to go by.
It was months before it got worse, and finally ended. I loved going out with Trowa and some other friends from my classes. I went to parties and clubs, sometimes getting drunk, sometimes not. It didn't matter. I am not an irresponsible drunk, and I never took it so far to where I was out of control. I can enjoy myself without making a fool of myself, and I always had Trowa there to take care of me if I had too much.
Kieran didn't think like this. I knew he disapproved of my student lifestyle, but there were times when I just didn't care, no matter how in love with him I was. I had my own life, and he had his. At that point our social lives were kept separate, him preferring to attend organised formal dinners and events, and me preferring to act on the spur of the moment. We never knew where we were going to go or what we were going to do until it happened. That was the life I enjoyed, and I still do, but Kieran didn't like it.
I came home one night from a party. Well... if I am perfectly honest, I stumbled home. I was pretty tipsy, and if I do say so myself, enjoying every moment of it. Trowa and I collapsed on the couch in the living room, not wanting to wake up everyone else in the flat with out fumbling in the dark to get to our rooms. All seemed fine, and I was falling asleep when the hall light turned on. My head was laid on Trowa's stomach from the way we landed on the settee, and I raised it to see who was awake.
Kieran stood in the doorway, a terrifying look on his face. It was a cross between rage and... something else. Looking back, I would say insanity, but that thought never crossed my tipsy love struck mind. I smiled at him, not noticing the glare he was sending our way. Trowa appeared to be fast asleep, so I whispered as not to wake him.
"Hey. It's ok. Go back to sleep babe. I'm going to stay here and make sure Trowa isn't sick or anything. He had a bit too much to drink."
I noticed his glare then. He strode across the room and grabbed me. Everything after that happened quickly. Trowa's eyes shot open and he stood up and he pulled me from Kieran grip, pushing me behind him.
"Get away from him Smith. You aren't trying any of your perverted games on him tonight. Not if I can help it."
"What the fuck are you talking about Barton? I'm putting him to his bed. You have gotten him in a state... again."
"He isn't in a state. He hasn't done anything wrong. I'm not letting you near him so you can fuck him about even more."
"You aren't making any sense. You are worse than him. For fuck sake get to your bed as well and sleep it off. I'll take care of Quatre however I see fit."
I remember standing behind Trowa's much taller figure not believing my ears. What were they talking about? I didn't need taken care of. Trowa started talking again.
"Like fuck! You think I don't hear what you do to him every night? I can hear him scream. And it's not the way he should he screaming if you are doing what I think you are doing."
Kieran moved forward so he was right in Trowa's face. His voice was like ice.
"Do you like to hear him scream Barton? Does it get you off? I bet you sit in your room moaning and writhing at the sounds he makes. You are more of a slut than him!"
The ensuing fight was nasty, and bloody. It woke the others up, and when they came in Trowa had just laid a right hook into Kieran's left eye. Heero was the one to split them up. Wufei seemed at a loss. He hated Kieran, more so than Trowa, and was obviously caught between helping Trowa and helping me. I was in tears watching the scene. I was unbelievably confused, not just at Kieran's words but also Trowa's reaction.
What had Kieran meant? Was it true what Trowa said about my screaming? What was it supposed to be like? If you were in pain, you screamed, didn't you? I just laid my head in my hands and wept. I felt arms go around my shoulders and waist and saw Wufei in front of me and turned to see Trowa behind me. Kieran was being pressed against the wall by Heero who was pulling his hair back and whispering something in his ear, a furious look on his normally expressionless face.
Trowa and Wufei held me tight while I wept, silently offering their support. When my tears had disappeared I smiled at Wufei and squeezed Trowa's hand, thanking them. Heero finally let Kieran go, and he left the flat, giving Trowa a glare before he left. I have no idea where he went that night, but he never came back. When everyone went back to bed, Trowa took me in his arms and carried me to his bed. I fell asleep in his arms, guilt not crossing my exhausted mind. I felt safe in Trowa's arms, and it was the first night in months I hadn't screamed myself to sleep.
Trowa seemed to understand, and he was the only one who knew what I went through every night. The next morning I woke to find the bed empty. I realised it was Trowa's bed I was in, but I still didn't feel guilty. I just lay there for a while and stared at the ceiling as I thought about what had happened the night before.
I was just as confused as to how I should be feeling when having sex as I was during that first time with Kieran. I thought it was meant to feel good. It should be something to be enjoyed. All my experiences of it were painful. If not physically then mentally. When Kieran took me the pain was physical, but when I took him it was mental. I hated seeing him in so much agony, knowing I could put an end to it. He seemed to enjoy it though, but what went on in his mind was beyond my comprehension. He was a mystery to me despite our physical closeness.
It was then I realised that we didn't know each other at all. We spent nearly every minute of every day together, but he didn't know anything about me and I didn't know anything about him. Of course we knew the basics, each others names, some limited background and the things we liked to do together, but he didn't know who I was. He had no idea what made me tick as much as he was a mystery to me. We were so isolated from each other it was unbelievable.
I thought of Trowa then.
We had always been close, ever since childhood. We grew up together in a southern village of Italy. His family was originally French, and mine Arabian, but while staying at one of my many mansions as a child we met, and have never been separated since.
His family belonged to a circus that travelled all around the world. My family requested them to attend the mansion one year, and Trowa came along with them. We could only have been five or six, but we made a connection. The circus were planning to stay in the area for a few weeks so they could do more shows, and Trowa and myself took this time to play together.
My family have always been rich, and I have always been the heir to my fathers company, Winner Enterprises. As the only son in a family where I have twenty eight female siblings, a lot rested on my shoulders. My father let us play all day, but when evening came, he sent Trowa back to the circus, where I was told he belonged.
Even though we were only little, we hated being apart. Trowa started climbing in my window at night so we could play some more, and we usually fell asleep on my bedroom floor. The only person who ever knew about that was my nurse, Miss Lovegood. She found us lying together on the rug one morning and told Trowa to go home. He obeyed, and she never told my father. This happened a few times before something happened that rocked our worlds.
Trowa's parents were killed. Nobody ever found out why, but it was suspected that it was government related. Trowa was devastated, and now officially homeless, because the circus refused to take him back. His sister, Catherine disappeared with the circus, and Trowa was left behind.
I begged my father to take him in, and it took some swaying from my mother and Miss Lovegood, but he finally relented. He was not a bad man, and his heart was always in the right place. Trowa was respectable, he told us. His manners were acceptable, and he could look presentable when he wanted to. I thought this was funny, because we were only little people, and we didn't even dress ourselves yet, never mind have manners.
I knew my father liked Trowa, and was just hiding it behind a mask of aristocracy, but it didn't matter. Trowa and I had each other, and we were best friends from that moment on. I wasn't until after I split up with Kieran that we took it to the next level...
I heard the door squeak, and turned to see Trowa enter with a tray. Breakfast in bed, how sweet. I smiled at him as he set the tray down on the bedside table and climbed in next to me. He lifted the tray up and placed it on my lap.
"I thought you could do with a little TLC after last night. You don't mind, do you?"
I shook my head and grinned at him again. "You always know exactly the right thing to do."
He blushed. "Ah well it comes with the job."
"Job?" I asked as I started eating my toast.
"Yeah, the job of being your best friend."
I raised an eyebrow in amusement. "You're employed? I never knew. Tell me... this job..."
"Do you like it?"
"It's fantastic," he said as he shifted the tray from my arms and onto the floor.
"Really? Does it pay well?" I moved closer so we were nose to nose.
He moved his mouth closer to mine, so I could feel his soft breath on my lips. "Oh yes. Very well."
Just as he was about to lean in the last few millimetres, I asked my final question. "How do you like your boss?"
He moved his eyes from my lips and looked at me straight. His words left me breathless.
"I love him."
Then he leaned in and softly touched his lips to mine. Even thought I had had warning, it was still a shock to feel his lips caressing mine so gently. I responded, and wrapped my arms around his neck. He pushed me down slowly to the bed, never breaking the contact of our lips.
I could feel shocks of pleasure go through my whole body as he covered us with the bedclothes. I giggled, which was something I had never done with Kieran. Trowa finally let go of my lips and started working his way down my neck, talking to me in urgent whispers.
"I love him so much that it hurts to see him with someone who doesn't deserve him... who hurts him... who doesn't love him like he says. Quatre... oh god... I love you so much!"
It was then I realised something important.
I loved Trowa back.
Return to Archive | next | previous