If A Tree Falls
I didn't disappear.
I didn't become a shell of a boy, a man made of scar tissue.
I didn't feel too cold or too hot.
I just walked.
Until my feet hurt, until the arches fell and the toes bled, until the rubber wore through. And here I am, at your door.
It's like seeing someone you attended school with.
Old habits never die when you walk those familiar halls again.. .they come rushing back with a vengeance of all you have lost.
My eyes try to become hard. Your voice tries for softness.
I hold the porcelain cup and fear it will shatter in my grip, scalding tea spilling over onto my hand.
And I imaging you sucking the Earl Grey off my fingers.
You tell me of your life and I listen.
I listen to the words that you don't say, the words you slide in-between the lines slipping past your lips.
'I've traveled so far.'
'Where have you been all this time?'
'I saw Duo a couple weeks ago.'
'Why haven't I seen you for years?'
'I guess I am happy.'
'Are you happy? Really happy?'
I say nothing. Just listen. Just pretending for a moment that years have not passed us by, so many hours ticked off from the moment we met, the moment you smiled at me, the moment you broke down and I held you too close and I heard something shatter inside.
I heard the crack and the snap, I felt the shudder in the ground of my body.
'I hope you come back soon. It's good to see you again.'
'Don't leave…not yet…I know you'll never come back.'
'You know that saying about if a tree falls and no one is in the forest to hear it, did it really happen.'
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